My mom died two weeks ago at the age of 58. We lived together and took care of each other for 37 years. My boyfriend is getting frustrated. I was depressed before. I know I should be able to handle this. My grandmother yelled at me on the phone to get out of bed and be of some use to my daughter. But what do I tell people when they yell at me for being in bed for two weeks and tell me to snap out of it and get out of bed and take care of my daughter? What if I'm not ready?

Answer

Your mother just died two short weeks ago, and although your grandmother is grieving too (after all, she lost a daughter), it's insensitive and short-sighted for anyone to tell you to simply "snap out of it." It sounds like you want to able to take care of yourself and your daughter but just isn’t up to either right now. Your grandmother and boyfriend are probably concerned about the mental and physical well-being of your child on top of everything else. It sounds like you and your mother were especially close, and your mom probably assisted in practical areas of your life, including with daily childcare duties. Can you think of trusted relatives and friends of the family who might be able to help you out on a practical level while you’re struggling?

Grieving can be a lengthy process even for people who weren't experiencing depression before such a devastating loss. There is no set time limit for how long you "should" grieve or when you "should" be over a death. Having pre-existing depression, however, can complicate the grief process.

Contact the healthcare provider (i.e., psychologist, psychiatrist, licensed clinical social worker, or another counselor) who has treated you in the past for your depression and update them on recent developments in your life before your depression gets any worse with the upcoming Christmas holidays or before you reach a point that you can’t care for your daughter or yourself at all. If you’re not able to do this, then ask your grandmother or boyfriend to help make the appointment for you and get you there. If your reference is to undiagnosed depression and you have no prior mental healthcare provider, then contact your family doctor for a recommendation to a clinical psychologist or other counselor. DON’T WAIT.

Working with a mental healthcare provider, the family can take a look at your social support system and help you marshal the resources that you need to get through this most difficult time of your life. I’m sorry for your loss and hope that you’ll take action.

In case you need the following, I included crisis resource information:

If you are in crisis and feel like you may harm yourself, call 911 for immediate life-saving assistance. You may also contact one of the following resources for talk or text support:

1) National Hopeline Network 1.800.SUICIDE (1.800.784.2433)

If you or someone you know are depressed and considering suicide, call the National Hopeline Network at 1.800.SUICIDE (1.800.784.2433). Your call is free and confidential. Or chat live with a crisis volunteer at http://hopeline.com/.

2) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1.800.273.TALK (8255)

Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to talk with a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area. Available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Note that the National Suicide Prevention website lists additional, special hotline numbers for Spanish speakers, people with hearing impairments and veterans in crisis, and people facing distress related to natural disasters: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-some...

3) Crisis Text Line Number 741741

Finally, please be sure to access this terrific resource: http://beta.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevent... which describes action steps to take if you are feeling suicidal.

If you're in crisis and prefer to text rather than call, then here's a confidential crisis text line staffed nationally by trained counselors in suicide prevention. Text "HOME" to 741741 from anywhere in the United States.

Updated on January 15, 2019

Original Article:

152 Songs About Sorrow, Grief, and Lost Loved Ones
By FlourishAnyway
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, spinditty.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://spinditty.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)