First, I’m sorry for your loss. Oftentimes, anniversaries of loved ones’ deaths are difficult, no matter how many years have transpired. Although there are some losses that people never fully recover from, you owe it to yourself and your mother’s memory to cope with this personal setback and make a plan for yourself to move on positively. Your mother would NOT want to see you like this after 11 years.
Find a good psychotherapist (talk therapist) and develop an action plan together that
1) broadens your social support system
2) gets you exercising so you have endorphins, the body’s own “feel good” drugs, working for you
3) finds you a purpose to wake up in the morning
4) gives you accountability for yourself and
5) allows you to keep your mother’s memory alive in a positive way.
There’s only so much that medication can do. There is a growth opportunity here. I know you miss your dear mother, but you can do this, sweet lady.