You've had a very difficult life so far, and I'm sorry for the shame you've felt and personal losses that you have experienced. Please don't have tunnel vision by assuming that your life will always be this way. You have the power to plot your own course in life. Don't give up on yourself by making an irreversible decision.
Sadly, we cannot choose our parents or control their behavior. Your mother does not seem to be coping well, and she is taking out her stress on you. Sure, adulting is stressful just as being a teen is difficult, but YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME for her poor coping skills. It's likely that she doesn't understand the impact of her words.
Turn to friends, trusted relatives, teachers, or a school counselor, for example, who believe in you and can provide you with understanding, encouragement, and positive affirmation. Keep your grades up, as education (even community college) can be your way out, and you owe it to yourself to do your best. Stay away from alcohol and drugs and any temptation to escape your current situation in an unhealthy manner.
You're at a vulnerable age in your life, and I'm asking you to re-commit yourself to YOU because the world is better with you in it. You are worth the investment.
If you are in crisis and feel like you may harm yourself, call 911 for immediate life-saving assistance. You may also contact one of the following resources for talk or text support:
1) National Hopeline Network 1.800.SUICIDE (1.800.784.2433)
If you or someone you know are depressed and considering suicide, call the National Hopeline Network at 1.800.SUICIDE (1.800.784.2433). Your call is free and confidential. Or chat live with a crisis volunteer at http://hopeline.com/.
2) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1.800.273.TALK (8255)
Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to talk with a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area. Available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
3) Crisis Text Line Number 741741
If you're in crisis and prefer to text rather than call, then here's a confidential crisis text line staffed nationally by trained counselors in suicide prevention. Text "HOME" to 741741 from anywhere in the United States.