Depression is often an easily treatable condition, but you must bring it to your parents’ attention regardless of how uncomfortable this makes you feel. Your health, happiness, and perhaps your very life URGENTLY depend on you doing this for yourself.
Imagine it this way: If you were drowning right now and your parents, a school counselor, soccer coach, teacher, or other responsible adult were safely on shore holding a life preserver, you’d instinctively call out to them to throw it to you. Do that NOW by sharing exactly how you are feeling and the fact that you have started to cut yourself. (It will become obvious eventually anyway, but you cannot afford to wait.) Do not hold any information back. Write a note to your mother and sit there as she reads it if you cannot make the words come out. Don’t keep your parents in the dark. They NEED to know this.
If you are surrounded by a group of friends who also express suicidal intentions, this is not a good peer group for you. You’re reinforcing each other in a very negative way with your ideas of dying and your poor coping skills. You need friends who better support each other in living on a day-to-day basis. You’re probably participating in this to fit in by sharing suicide jokes, details about how depressed you feel, etc. Hopefully, you’ll see a therapist and can work on more positive coping skills.
Although you said you cannot call anyone for help, I need to give you the following information in case you get are in a bind before you can talk to your parents. There are phone, text, and chat options. For you, I recommend chat since apparently you were able to submit me a question without a problem. Another alternative is perhaps you can borrow a friend’s phone or go to a pay phone (note that 1-800 calls are free). Also, know that at least on an iPhone you can delete a previous text or phone call. Remember, my smart young friend, that there are ALWAYS multiple options in life!
Here’s the crisis resource information:
If you are in crisis and feel like you may harm yourself, call 911 for immediate life-saving assistance. You may also contact one of the following resources for talk or text support:
1) National Hopeline Network 1.800.SUICIDE (1.800.784.2433)
If you or someone you know are depressed and considering suicide, call the National Hopeline Network at 1.800.SUICIDE (1.800.784.2433). Your call is free and confidential. Or chat live with a crisis volunteer at http://hopeline.com/.
2) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1.800.273.TALK (8255)
Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to talk with a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area. Available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Note that the National Suicide Prevention website lists additional, special hotline numbers for Spanish speakers, people with hearing impairments and veterans in crisis, and people facing distress related to natural disasters: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-some...
3) Crisis Text Line Number 741741
Finally, please be sure to access this terrific resource: http://beta.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevent... which describes action steps to take if you are feeling suicidal.
If you're in crisis and prefer to text rather than call, then here's a confidential crisis text line staffed nationally by trained counselors in suicide prevention. Text "HOME" to 741741 from anywhere in the United States.
Please talk with your parents and ask for the help you need. Parents may be challenging to relate to, but give them a chance to support you when you need it the most.