The Narcissist's Playlist: 57 Songs on Arrogance and Self-Love
The Narcissist: Proud As a Peacock
Narcissistic Natalie: A Memory Like A Bad Tattoo
If you've ever dated, loved, or worked with a narcissist, his or her memory has been seared upon you like a bad tattoo. Narcissists are all about
- entitlement and
I worked closely with one and actually enjoyed her from a safe distance ... in the same way that some people enjoy dangerous snakes. They can be fascinating to watch, but you must respect the bite.
Puffery, Name-Dropping, and Shameless Self-Promotion
Narcissistic Natalie was usually the loudest person in the room — a loud talker with sudden bursts of unsettling laughter. She clunked and slammed her way around the office for attention ("Hey, look at me! Ask me about ME!"). There was no mistaking she had arrived. She was quick to share the latest drama in her own life, no questions required.
Inevitably, she steered each conversation to her own talents, and she littered her language with the names of executives and influencers. (Cue eye rolls and barely contained gagging.)
Hypersensitive to criticism, Narcissistic Natalie ruthlessly turned on anyone who gave her less than glowing feedback. Who cared if the criticism was valid?
A manager told her to wear longer skirts so that coworkers and clients couldn't see "up there" when she crossed and uncrossed her legs during meetings or put her feet on the table. Natalie ranted, claimed victimization, and resorted to subversive retaliation. She declared personal war.
Narcissistic Natalie also attacked the reputation of a prior supervisor who had given her disagreeable feedback. She continued to do so during the woman's terminal battle with cancer and afterwards for at least two years. Sinister things happen when you cross a narcissist. Natalie's story morphed in unflattering ways as she repeatedly retold it.
The young narcissist also probed co-workers, bosses, and especially naïve new employees about their personal history and opinions. Then she used the information to
- advance her personal agenda
- cast herself more favorably while portraying targets in an unflattering light, and
- portray the image that she had special relationships, inside knowledge, or brilliant insight.
So what happens to narcissists like Natalie? Often they bounce from one context to another, leaving a path of relationship destruction along the way. At other times they become leaders. (After all, they'll tell you they have a talent for it.) For Natalie, it was both.
Is A Narcissist Pulling Your Strings?
1. "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift
In this 2014 hit, Taylor Swift takes on the persona of a self-involved, crazed woman who breaks hearts for the sport of it. In doing so, the singer mocks her own dating life which has become the target of all the gossip magazines.
She tells a new love interest that "I could show you incredible things ... Magic, madness, heaven, sin" and she alludes to special powers she has at reading people and making "the bad guys good for a weekend." Ever the vixen, she also cautions that "darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream."
Don't underestimate this one, guys. And don't say no one ever warned you.
Have you ever known a narcissist?
Confidence To Spare
2. "I’m Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred
The fashion model in the 1991 song by English group Right Said Fred has a big problem: He brags that he's too sexy for
- his lover
- his shirt
- Milan, New York, Japan
- your party
- his car
- his cat
- this song.
That's a whole lot of sexiness. No wonder the song ends so abruptly.
3. "Applause" by Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga captures the essence of attention mongers in this 2013 song, and we all recognize the type. They're the ones who elbow others out of the limelight in search of an audience. Always on stage, these approval seekers soak up the accolades and live for "the way that you cheer and scream for me." Impatiently, they demand: "Look at me!"
Narcissists: Me, Myself & I
Got a narcissist in your life at work, in your family or romantic life? Tired of their endless self-love, lack of empathy, and all the me-me-me? While you figure out how to deal with them, make your own playlist about narcissism, arrogance, and self-love. You'll realize you're not alone. Unfortunately, neither are they.
Narcissists: They Live For the Applause
4. "Under My Thumb" by The Rolling Stones
The narrator in this classic song by The Rolling Stones (1966) is a flaming narcissist. Today, we'd call him emotionally abusive, or worse.
He can't control his narcissistic rage against the girlfriend who supposedly once controlled him. Our narcissist boasts that change has come: "the squirmin' dog who's just had her day" now talks when spoken to, dresses how he requires, and keeps her eyes to herself while he's allowed to ogle other women.
Someone advise Girlfriend to tell him where he can put his thumb. (As my grandfather would say, "Sit on your fist and lean back on your thumb.")
5. "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick
Cheap Trick (1979) reportedly wrote this song as a joke. The song's narrator is determined to be the center of his lover's world:
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
The Mask Of A Narcissist: Anyone You Want Me To Be
6. "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke
This 2013 song by Robin Thicke has a catchy beat, but if you listen to the lyrics you understand why it's on this list. It's no wonder some people complained that the song was misogynistic.
In flirting with a woman he is attracted to, an over-the-top narrator calls her a "good girl" and says that her man
tried to domesticate you
But you're an animal. Baby, it's in your nature
Just let me liberate you
He then repeatedly taunts, "I know you want it," and says that he knows she "must wanna get nasty."
Narcissism: The One Percent Club
Signs You're Dealist With A Narcissist
Hallmarks of Narcissism
A grandiose sense of self-importance
Communicating a sense of entitlement
Expecting recognition for superiority, even without corresponding achievements.
Expecting special treatment without question (i.e., a feeling that the rules don't apply to them)
Exaggerated accomplishments and talents.
Taking advantage of others to get what one wants
Preoccupation or fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
Lack of empathy (recognizing others' perspectives)
Believing a person of your special gifts should only associate with and can only be understood by similarly special people
Envying others and assuming that others envy you
Requiring constant attention
Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner
7. "Piece of Me" by Britney Spears
From struggles with the law to mental illness, addiction, and troubled relationships, Britney Spears (2007) has seen her life play out in the media. Remember her hair shaving incident that was a low point?
In this song, she comes back swinging. She calls herself the following and repeatedly challenges, "You wanna piece of me?"
- Miss American Dream since I was 17
- Miss Bad Media Karma
- Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, and
- Mrs. "Extra! Extra! This Just In!"
The Narcissistic Motto: "Let's Hear It For Me!"
8. "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea (featuring Charli XCX)
Although the beat is great, the lyrics to this 2014 electro-hop hit by Australian rapper Iggy Azalea (featuring Charli XCX) are sheer self-aggrandizing nonsense. Iggy brags about how sexy and fancy she is and how she doesn't listen to the haters.
She becomes overly concerned about being paid appropriately yet also brags about trashing hotel rooms and swinging from chandeliers. That'll get your name remembered, alright.
9. "Can't Be Tamed" by Miley Cyrus
Back in 2010, Miley Cyrus warned us with this song that her puzzle pieces were jagged and she was wired a different way. (I'll say.) She said she was attention-crazy and couldn't be tamed or blamed. Believe her now?
10. "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift
In this 2008 song, Taylor Swift considers herself uniquely qualified to be her best guy-friend's sweetheart. Never mind that he already has a girlfriend. She's the only one understands him, gets his humor, and really cares about his life story.
The narrator sounds a bit obsessed, like she could easily take a pencil to the neck of his present girlfriend to get what she wants.
Facts About Narcissism
- While people commonly refer to self-involved braggarts as being "narcissistic," Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a serious mental disorder. Only a mental health care professional is qualified to properly diagnose NPD.
- An estimated 1% of Americans experience NPD.
- Male narcissists outnumber females at a rate of about 3-to-1.
- Research has found that narcissistic men react with most hostility towards heterosexual women. This means that their partners could be especially vulnerable targets of their aggression.1
- One study found that men who post more selfies through social media channel are more narcissistic. Dudes who edit their selfies (e.g., through cropping, a special effects app) are particularly narcissistic .2
- Want to spot a narcissist on Facebook? Research indicates here's what to look for: a large number of contacts and shallow relationships (mirroring real life), a larger number of photos, more glamorous photos, and more self-promoting posts.3
- People who are overconfident about their abilities are more likely to become leaders. (That's not to say they are good leaders, however.)4
His Own Biggest Fan?
Let's You and Him (Or Her) Fight
Trump's Target and What They Did To Allegedly Merit His Rage
Target's Clever Comeback
Arianna Huff's Huffington Post ran an article that was unfavorable to Trump's television show, "The Apprentice."
"@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man -- he made a good decision."
"@realDonaldTrump we've always wondered what's under the bottom of the barrel. Please report. #flameout.
In 2006, Rosie O'Donnell slammed Trump on "The View" for his handling of a drug scandal by Miss USA
"What she is is a bully." / "Rosie's a loser. A real loser. I look forward to taking lots of money from my nice fat little Rosie." / "Rosie is crude, rude, obnoxious and dumb -- other than that I like her very much!" / She's not a very smart person, if you look at her IQ I guarantee you it's not up there." / "Rosie always self-destructs."
"You're an a$$ in every way." / "He returns -- like a raging herpes rash." / "He wants me … He needs me -- he is obsessed … like a grandpa stalker."
Cher tweeted negative comments about Mitt Romney during the 2012 election campaign.
"@Cher attacked @MittRomney. She is an average talent who is out of touch with reality. Like @Rosie O'Donnell, a total loser!"
"Donald Trump is a Pompous A**hole. Saw him in Aspen with one Dcup chick after another. Everyone up there thought he was a complete idiot."
High profile plaintiff's attorney Gloria Allred represented a disqualified transgender Miss Universe contestant. The pageant is owned by Trump. Allred commented that the contestant shouldn't have to prove gender to the Trump organization, as no one was requesting that information from Trump himself.
Trump called television show TMZ to discuss his genitals: "I think Gloria would be very, very impressed with me." He said he would show his (ahem) package to Ms. Allred if she paid the right price.
“I don’t have a magnifying glass strong enough to see something that small. The world does not revolve around his penis. We have to get off the subject of genitalia and let’s just look at people as individuals and put aside the fears, the prejudices, and stereotypes that he may have.”
Comedian Bill Maher joked that the color of Trump's hair suggested his father was an orange-haired orangutan.
Trump sued the comedian for $5 million.
"Just like we're the gun country, we're the joke country. We love our free speech and we love celebrities getting taken down a peg. So Don, just suck it up like everybody else!" / ""Look, I'm not looking for a feud with Donald Trump and I certainly only wish the best for the syphilitic monkey who does his Twitter feed."
Notable Quotes From Donald Trump: Told Through PhotosClick thumbnail to view full-size
Donald Trump: Narcissist or Not?
Is Donald Trump a narcissist?
11. "When You're Ready Come and Get It" by Selena Gomez
Selena Gomez, known for her on-again/off-again relationship with Justin Bieber must be singing about him in this 2013 song. The song's narrator taunts her lover like a kid on the playground with lots of "Na na na na" refrains.
She knows their love is going to kill her but she'll die happy as she summons her lover, "When you're ready come and get it." Sounds like two egomaniacs headed for a train wreck, if you ask me.
12. "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake
Oh, Justin Timberlake, you so love yourself. Are you perhaps overcompensating for Britney Spears cheating on you? Hmmm.
In this 2006 song, Justin promises to bring sexy back because he says the girl he's attracted to is "burning up" for him and he's going to show the other guys how to be cool.
13. "I Love Myself" by The Wannadies
Sweedish group The Wannadies puts the message right out there in this alternative rock song (2000): When it comes to love, there's nothing better than loving yourself.
The narrator compliments himself on what good company he is. He says he's charming, physically attractive, and never disappoints himself. What more could you want in a mate?
Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall ...
14. "Can’t Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West
This 2007 Grammy-nominated song is classic Kanye West — bold and in-your-face. In in, he boasts about his money and reckless behavior, including getting arrested. He recalls a dream about buying his way to heaven and has no guilt about the way he treats others. Sounds narcissistic alright.
15. "I Am Superman" by R.E.M.
Rejected by the girl he loves, the narcissistic narrator of this 1986 R.E.M. is scary-obsessed with getting her back, whatever it takes.
Although she's found a new love interest, the narrator "knows what's happening" and "can do anything." He promises to track her down, even if she ventures a million miles away from him. If there's anything narcissists hate it's rejection.
Every Narcissist Is A Hero In His Own Mind
16. "This Is How We Do It" by Katy Perry
Katy Perry captures the narcissism of what it's like to be young, rich, and carefree in this 2013 song. She pays homage to karaoke, day drinking, and spending money with reckless abandon. In defense she sings, "It's no big deal. It's no big deal."
17. "My Prerogative" by Britney Spears
This was Bobby Brown's song (1988) until Britney Spears (2009) remixed it and made it hers. She defended her right to make her own decisions and live her life life as she wanted. Sounds reasonable, right?
They say I'm crazy
I really don't care
That's my prerogative
They say I'm nasty
But I don't give a damn
Getting boys is how I live ... .
18. "If I Wanted To" by Melissa Etheridge
Melissa Etheridge's surging vocals give credence to this powerful 1993 song in which the narrator certainly seems full of herself. She narcissistically boasts that she could dance with the devil, not grow old, influence political leaders and even exercise supernatural powers. That is, if she wanted to.
19. "Warriors" by Kesha
Kesha — yes, the artist who once had a $ as a part of her name — represents a generation of self-styled warriors in this 2012 song.
But rather than warriors, they sound like a bunch of narcissists. She calls her people the "misfits," "the bad people," "the degenerates." Then she really gets nasty and tells us what they'll do to us.
Put your big girl panties on, Kesha, and play nice with the rest of us. Being a mean girl will only get you so far.
Kid Rock: He's Cocky, Alright
20. "You Never Met A Motherf#@$er Quite Like Me" by Kid Rock
If someone makes this claim, you sure better believe that they reek of vanity. Then, I'd suggest you run the other way.
Kid Rock is a talented musician, having delved into genres that include hip hop, Southern rock, R&B, and country. And while I'm sure this over-the-top song (2002) is somewhat satirical, it captures the sheer essence of narcissism.
Who brags about meeting the President of the United States while half-stoned? Have some freaking respect, dude. And that black hat makes him look like a magician.
The Narcissist: Poisonous Lover, Friend, Co-worker, Relative
21. "Hard to Handle" by The Black Crowes
This 1990 version of the song by The Black Crowes oozes with the dangerous overconfidence of a man who won't take "no" for an answer. He sees a woman he is instantly attracted to and boldly propositions her, even though she's already taken.
22. "I’m Every Woman" by Whitney Houston
In this song, Whitney Houston (1993) proclaims to her lover that she the epitome of womanhood. And he doesn't need to bother to make comparisons because whatever he wants, she's got it. She can cast a spell, forecast his needs, and give him all the love he needs. She is every woman, all in one.
23. "So What" by P!nk
You know what a narcissist does when life hands them lemons? They'll demand that you make them lemonade.
Self-engrossed, the narrator in this 2008 song by P!nk repeatedly reminds herself that she is a rock star, baby. Having just experienced an ugly break-up with her husband, she makes plans to go drinking, start a fight, and not pay his rent. Narcissists tend to overreact when rejected.
24. "We All Sleep Alone" by Cher
Cher warns narcissists in this 1988 hit not to make promises that cannot be kept or become captive to someone else's needs. In the end, she says, all we have is ourselves:
Nobody nowhere holds the key to your heart
When love's a possession it'll tear you apart
You may have lovers wherever you roam
But sooner or later we all sleep alone.
25. "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake
Imagine loving someone because they remind you so much of yourself. That's what Justin Timberlake claims in this song: "'Cause it's like you're my mirror — my mirror staring back at me." He's so convincing that he'll have you wondering whether he's singing to a girl or himself.
26. "Blame" by Calvin Harris
Don't blame narcissists if they cheat. In this 2014 Calvin Harris song, he suggests that his lover blame it on the night. "Can't you see it? I was manipulated by it. ... I had no choice in this," he justifies and defends.
In reality, sexual narcissists do tend to cheat more often. These are the brand of narcissists who fancy themselves very skillful lovers. They also have a lack of sexual empathy, believe they are sexually entitled and can exploit others sexually.5
So what should you do if you're the partner who has been cheated on? Just let them go.
27. "U Can’t Touch This" by MC Hammer
In 1990, hip hop artist MC Hammer became a cultural sensation with this #1 song. Hammer brags about his dancing, singing, and ability to attract the lady folk. Several narcissistic catchphrases originated from this song: "Stop! Hammertime" and "You Can't Touch This!" Using them now will definitely reveal not only your ego but also your age. Go ahead. Try it.
28. "Fastest Girl In Town" by Miranda Lambert
The girl in this country rock song by Miranda Lambert (2012) is trouble with a capital "T." She's a gun-toting, whiskey-guzzling, cigarette-smoking mama. Her tattoos should scream "narcissist" and carry a warning. She even tells her boyfriend that if they are stopped by the police for the crimes they commit together, she will charm the officer while the boyfriend takes the blame.
29. "I’m Different" by Randy Newman
In this 1983 song, Randy Newman gives a narcissistic middle-finger to those who would try to make him conform or play well with others. From his smile to his way of walking, the narrator is a one-of-a-kind, and he says it drives the ladies wild:
I ain't sayin' I'm better than you are
But maybe I am
I only know that when I look in the mirror
I like the man... .
30. "Leaving On A Jet Plane" by Peter, Paul and Mary
This 1967 song was Peter, Paul and Mary's biggest hit, but don't let the sweet folk sound fool you. As her taxi awaits, the narrator is at her sweetheart's door to bid him farewell. She's leaving for an indefinite period and wants for him to put his life on hold for her. And here's the real kicker:
There's so many times I've let you down, so many times I've played around,
I tell you now they don't mean a thing.
Every place I go I'll think of you, every song I sing I'll sing for you,
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring.
We don't hear his response, but I hope it was along the lines of, "Have a nice life."
31. "Hell On Heels" by Pistol Annies
Brains, beauty and a wicked streak a mile long. That's what these gals celebrate in this delightfully narcissistic country song by Pistol Annies (2011). As they recount all the men they've taken advantage of, they warn: "I'm hell on heels. Sugar daddy, I'm coming for you."
32. "Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande featuring The Weeknd
If you've ever loved a narcissist, this 2014 song by Ariana Grande featuring The Weeknd probably feels eerily familiar. Narcissists issue incessant demands that "if you wanna keep me" and "if you really need me" then you'll love me harder. Unfortunately, they can attract highly empathic individuals as mates.
33. "I Feel Pretty" by Julie Andrews
Julie Andrews sang this song in West Side Story in 1957. It captures the essence of egotism as a young girl tells herself how pretty, witty, and charming she is because she is loved by a boy.
34. "Shameless" by Garth Brooks
In this 1991 song by Garth Brooks, a man admits to being uncompromising and overconfident. He could walk away from anyone before. Apologizing or admitting he is wrong is not in his character.
Now this woman has his him hooked and he's says his love for her is shameless. Is it a recipe for trouble? (Run, lady!)
Self-Portrait: Narcissistic Masterpiece
35. "I'm Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO
The narcissist in this song by LMFAO (2011) emphasizes that he works out. He says he has passion in his pants and he's not afraid to show it ... because he's sexy and he knows it. The song was a #1 hit.
36. "I’m All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor
The debut single by Meghan Trainor (2014) is all about self-love and self-acceptance, no matter one's size.
However, the narrator who brags, "I'm bringing booty back" takes narcissistic jabs at her thinner sisters: "Go ahead and tell them skinny b*tches that." Does she forget that just as she is naturally "larger boned," perhaps some of those girls are naturally slight framed?
37. "Black Widow" by Iggy Azalea
The guy that Iggy Azalea is singing to in this song (2013) is a marked man. Iggy portrays a bunny-boiling, broken hearted woman who is bent on revenge:
You used to be thirsty for me
But now you wanna be set free
This is the web, the web that you weave
So baby now rest in peace. (It's all over with now).
38. "Ain't As Good As I Once Was" by Toby Keith
Toby Keith is an over-the-hill narcissist in this 2005 country song. He reminisces about the good old days when he was a great lover and could fight with the best of them. He gives a warning not to double dog dare him because he might have to relive old times.
39. "Diva" by Beyoncé Knowles
A female version of a hustler. That's what stiletto-wearing Beyoncé Knowles is proudly claiming to be in this narcissistic song from 2008.
40. "Don’t You Want Me" by The Human League
The narcissistic man in this 1981 song by The Human League met a cocktail waitress in a bar and helped her turn her life around. For five years, they had a relationships, and now that she's moving on, his narcissistic rage is unveiled. (How dare she leave him!)
But don't forget, it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too.
Don't -- but don't forget -- it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me.
What's In A Name? Locations With Names Associated With Malignant Narcissists
Even More Arrogant, Narcissistic Songs
Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars
42. I Touch Myself
43. You're So Vain
44. Oh, Lord, It's Hard To Be Humble
45. Bow Down
46. I Wanna Talk About Me
47. Me, Myself and I
G-Eazy & Bebe Rexha
48. Love Yourself
49. Me Too
50. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)
51. The Man
52. Life's Been Good
55. Don't Cha
56. I Love Kanye
57. Smarter Than U
It's You Against The World
1"Women Anger Narcissistic Men Most." Psych Central.com. Last modified July 29, 2010. http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/07/28/women-anger-narcissistic-men-most/16157.html.
2 Engel, Meredith. "Selfie-taking Men Are More Narcissistic, Psychopathic: Study." NY Daily News. Last modified January 12, 2015. http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/selfie-taking-men-narcissistic-psychopathic-study-article-1.2075114.
3 "Facebook Profiles Out Narcissists." LiveScience.com. Last modified September 26, 2008. http://www.livescience.com/2904-facebook-profiles-narcissists.html.
4 "Narcissists More Likely to Be Leaders." Msnbc.com. Last modified October 8, 2008. http://www.nbcnews.com/id/27086365/ns/health-behavior/t/narcissists-more-likely-be-leaders/#.VLnieivF-UU.
5 Hillin, Taryn. "Sexual Narcissists May Be More Likely To Cheat, Study Finds." The Huffington Post. Last modified April 11, 2014. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/10/infidelity-study-narcissism-cheating_n_5128626.html.
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