FlourishAnyway believes there is a playlist for just about any situation and is on a mission to unite and entertain the world through song.
True Love Is Worth the Wait
Love is hard enough to find, but then there's the challenge of getting your timing right. Sometimes you have to wait for the one you love to make up his or her mind, to find themselves before settling down, or to bridge the geographical distance that separates you.
Over two decades ago (has it really been that long?), my husband and I dated long-distance for almost four years while each of us built our careers. It wasn't always easy, but love was worth the wait.
If you are waiting for someone you love, here's a list of rock, pop and country songs about others who share your experience. Make yourself a playlist to listen to while you wait. And may love be worth your wait in the end.
1. "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons
The strength of this rock song is its purity and simplicity. With religious overtones, this 2012 hit is about a man who has made mistakes and is going though a difficult time in his relationship. He has sought forgiveness and is determined not to push boundaries while renewal and healing take place over time.
2. "Kissing a Fool" by George Michael
It's painful when you love someone more than they love you. Someone used to sing this 1987 song to me. It's about a man who loves a woman, but she listens to other people's opinions.
The protagonist thinks about the future they could've had, and he blames his sweetheart for not being strong enough to stand up to the naysayers. He feels that his utter devotion has left him playing the role of the fool:
But remember this: every other kiss
That you ever give, long as we both live.
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with—
I will wait for you
Like I always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other.
3. "You Can’t Hurry Love" by Phil Collins
The lonely narrator in this 1982 song is eager for a soft voice and tender arms to hold him tight. Wanting someone to love him back, he recalls the sage words of his mother just when he's about to give up his search.
His mother advised that you can't hurry love, that you must wait for it. And that wait is ever so worth the struggle.
4. “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers
This achingly romantic song has been recorded by over 670 artists in many languages, but this 1965 version stands as the definitive version. The narrator has been separated from his lover for far too long and pines to rejoin her.
The song was used as the theme in the 1990 movie Ghost. However, it was originally written for another movie decades earlier. The earlier movie was about a man who was being released from prison and looking to reunite with his love interest.
5. "Waitin' on a Woman" by Brad Paisley
In this endearing 2005 country song, a younger man meets and older one and realizes they have one thing in common: they are both waiting on their wives. The older man looks back on his life and recounts all of the times that he has waited on the woman he loves, from their first date when she was half an hour late, to their wedding that took a year to plan, and nearly every day thereafter.
He imagines that he'll end up waiting for her in death as well. However, he doesn't mind because that's what lovers do: wait for one another.
6. "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx
The lovesick man in this 1989 ballad is oceans apart from his girlfriend. He is left waiting it out, nearly going crazy for her to return.
7. "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script
Still in love with the woman who has broken his heart and left him, the guy at the center of this 2008 pop song returns to the street corner where he first met his ex-girlfriend. With his sleeping bag, a cardboard sign and a photo of her in hand, he waits, hoping she will return to the spot where their love affair began. He's the man who can't be moved.
8. "Time After Time" by Quietdrive
This 2006 remake of Cyndi Lauper's classic rock song is about the mutual support that exists between two people who care deeply about one another:
If you fall, I will catch you; I'll be waiting
(I'll always be waiting)
Time after time ... .
9. "I'll Wait for You" by Joe Nichols
This heartwarming country song from 2005 features a couple separated by miles but not love. The husband is trying desperately to return to his ailing wife, but he is detained by a Montana snowstorm.
As she promises to wait for him, the wife fondly recalls other moments that she waited for his return: when he was on the road over Christmas and the birth of their first child. (This guy has some sense of timing!)
Sadly, our hero doesn't arrive in time, and his waiting wife dies. (Let's hope she wasn't alone.) She leaves behind a note promising to wait for him on the other side.
10. "Please Come to Boston" by Dave Loggins
Anyone who has ever had to wait for a lover to find himself (or herself) can appreciate this 1974 folk/pop hit. The narrator leaves his sweetheart back in his native Tennessee as he bounces from Boston to Denver to Los Angeles in search of career success.
While he finds success, his one true love waits for him back home. He pleads for her to join him, but she insists that she won't leave; instead, if he loved her, he'd return to her.
11. "I'll Be Waiting" by Adele
The narrator in this 2011 pop song feels remorse for how she treated her lover, but she has learned from the experience. Now she is waiting for when he is ready to love her again. She promises to treat him differently and better this time.
12. "Waiting for Love" by Avicii
Having been through a cycle of heartache, hoping and deep aching for the return of his beloved, the narrator in this 2015 pop song awaits the return of his lover. Realizing that their love is one-of-a-kind, he waits for her to come back around.
13. "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri
If you feel like you've waited your whole life—eternity even—for your one special sweetheart, consider yourself most fortunate to have found the one who is your perfect match.
This is the 2011 theme song from the Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn - Part 1. It describes a love so intense that the narrator feels he has loved and waited for his better half for 1,000 years. Better yet, he claims he will love her for 1,000 more.
14. "I’ll Be Waiting” by Lenny Kravitz
Have you ever stood by supportively while you pined away for a friend whose heart was breaking over someone else? That's what the narrator in this 2008 rock song is doing.
The girl he loves is trying to recover from heartbreak. Our patient narrator is so certain that his friend is the one for him that he will wait indefinitely for her to realize that the love she deserves has been there all along. Now that is confidence.
15. "Come Home Soon" by SHeDAISY
In this 2004 country song, the narrator is a sad and lonely wife who waits at home for her husband. Even though they are far apart, she cries herself to sleep missing him and waits faithfully for his return.
16. "The Longer the Waiting (The Sweeter the Kiss)" by Josh Turner
The sailor who narrates this 2007 country song sets sail tomorrow. He'll be leaving his lover until Springtime and needs to know if she will wait for his return:
Oh, the longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss
It's better my darling, I promise you this:
The next time I hold you, I'm not letting go
Will you wait for me darling? I need to know.
17. "Patience” by Guns ‘N Roses
Take it slow. It'll all work out. Just have patience. While the narrator in this 1988 hard rock song sits and waits for his girlfriend, he tries to convince himself and her that the end will all be worth the wait.
18. "So Far Away" by Carole King
This 1971 folk rock song may be almost 50 years old, but it reflects what's going on today with increasing regularity. People travel great distances from their homes on business, for school, and to serve their country in the military.
Although there is social media and communication methods, it's lonely waiting for someone you love to return. Nothing truly replaces having them right there with you:
So far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're just time away.
19. "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift
Who cares that the guy she wants is someone else's boyfriend? That's a small detail. When you're certain you belong together, you gotta wait it out while you convince him that you're the one. That's the narrator's strategy in this 2008 Taylor Swift hit.
20. "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing” by Jack Johnson
The guy in this 2005 rock song has been waiting on the woman he loves for such a long time now that he feels foolish and cruelly treated. He claims that she builds him up just to knock him down, yet still he waits. No one said waiting on love was easy.
Even More Songs About Waiting for Someone You Love
21. Patient Love
22. The Waiting
23. If You Get There Before I Do
24. The One You're Waiting On
25. Wait For Love
26. Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree
Tony Orlando and Dawn
27. Waiting for Tonight
28. Been Waiting
29. Under Cover of Darkness
30. Wait For Me
Theory Of A Deadman
31. True Love Waits
32. Waiting for a Girl Like You
34. Wouldn’t It Be Nice?
The Beach Boys
35. It Don't Matter To Me
36. Wait For You
37. I'll Wait For You
38. I Will Wait For You
Us the Duo
40. Wait On Me
41. This Town
42. I Promise to Wait
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas
43. Would You Wait for Me
44. Save the Best for Last
46. I Can Wait Forever
47. Girl I Wait
Bruno Mars (featuring Claude)
48. The Search Is Over
Two Door Cinema Club
51. Greatest Love Story
52. Yours If You Want It
53. If You Met Me First
54. Come Home
55. Just Friends
56. Teardrops on My Guitar
59. In My Place
60. Lovers Never Say Goodbye
61. Tomorrow Never Came
Lana Del Rey (featuring Sean Ono Lennon)
62. Hello Darlin'
"WAIT" (Easy For You To Say)
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Questions & Answers
Question: What do I do if I’ve been waiting my whole life just for one particular woman, and now I discover that she doesn’t feel the same way about me?
Answer: As special as this person is to you, you cannot afford to put your entire life on hold waiting for her to change her mind. You owe it to yourself to get out there and work on making yourself a happy person interested in the world around you rather than just being interested in capturing her attention. When you truly become happy, confident, and love yourself, you’ll find that you will begin to attract attention from other potential partners.
There are many possible matches for each of us in this world, not one soulmate. Open yourself up to the possibilities. There may be someone out there even better for you than her — someone, who will love you back! No more waiting around, ok? You gave it a good shot already.
Question: I fell in love with an older man who is married. He wants to leave his wife for me, and I told him that he can't do that to her, but I can't stop talking to him. I don't know why I'm putting my life on hold for him. I want to be with him, but I don't want him to get a divorce. I don't know what to do. Should wait for him?
Answer: You are right to listen to your inner voice that tells you to leave him the hell alone. Here's the way this will very likely go down if you don't listen to that voice:
1) Against your better judgment, you'll enter into an adulterous sexual relationship that is very passionate at first. Then the passion will wane a bit after a few years -- yes, YEARS because such affairs are tough to get out of once you cross that moral boundary. It becomes like a long-term dating relationship, only you're still living off sloppy leftovers from his marriage. His wife gets his name, his home, his holidays and vacation memories, his bed, and the dignity of being publicly recognized as his life partner. You're his hidden girlfriend he steals time with. (Note that he might even have a second girlfriend on the side.)
2) He continues to promise you that he'll leave his wife when the time is right, and you continue to make the mistake of trusting him. The time is never quite right. There's always something conveniently keeping you apart, although he can always find time to have sex with you. You keep pressuring him about when you'll be together. He may offer nice gifts to keep you hanging on, or you may temporarily break up, but you keep coming back because of the hope that he'll really leave her.
3) While you've wasted your youth and given up having children waiting for this older man, he's still married. At least on some level, his wife knew about the affair all along and decided not to leave. Or perhaps she decided to wait until some event like the kids going off to college. Now she files for divorce. He's free to marry you finally, but you know what? He DOESN'T!
My recommendation is to stop talking to him altogether. You CAN actually do this. Tell him firmly to STOP calling you until he is legally divorced (not separated). BLOCK his calls. If it's love and he's not just "chasing skirt", then he'll do what it takes to be with you. Right now, however, he is legally and morally bound to another person. He needs to undo that commitment before he makes a new commitment or tries to date you. In the interim, you'll only be sorry if you put your life on hold for this older man with a "grass is greener" complex. You deserve better. Treat yourself well because other people may not have your best interests in mind.
Question: How long should I wait for the person I love to return to me?
Answer: That depends on a lot of factors, but the most important one is YOU. I hope you feel good enough about yourself to believe that you're worth loving. Here are a few things to consider in determining how long to wait on someone when there are 7.5 billion other people in the world and only about 100 years to live, if you're lucky.
1) Mutual commitment: Evaluate your relationship understanding and level of commitment. Is this a marriage or long-term, exclusive relationship? On the other extreme of the continuum, have you never even shared your feelings with them (and thus you don't know whether the feelings are one-sided or mutual)? It's very hard to maintain a relationship over a long period of time without a deep spoken commitment. The more mutual it is, the longer I'd personally be willing be invest. If there's any component of secrecy to the relationship such as in a clandestine extramarital affair, beware. You'll probably be waiting forever for them to leave their spouse.
2) Expectations: What do you expect from each other from a behavioral standpoint? What constitutes a betrayal? For example, you might consider "waiting" to include loving someone from afar while continuing to casually date or fall in love with other partners over the years. Your beloved might consider "waiting" to be exclusive emotional and sexual fidelity, even if you haven't communicated for a long period. Know what you each expect. If there's an imbalance in expectations (e.g., one partner can be sexually active with others while another is expected to be exclusive), then that's a red flag.
3) Reason for separation: Is this a voluntary separation in which they had the option to stay with you or take you with them, but instead chose not to? Or was the situation forced, compulsory, not their choice? A variety of examples include: military deployment, job relocation, going to jail, being married currently to someone else, attending different colleges.
4) The details: Is there any timeline or plan for getting the two of you together? How concrete is it? Has either of you articulated "deal breakers" for the relationship? Has either of you violated these? The more concrete a plan and timeline, the more confident I'd feel about waiting. Failure to meet intermediate milestones would signal red flags.
5) Opportunity costs: Opportunity costs refer to what you give up when you choose another option. By waiting for this person, what are you potentially giving up? Are you okay with that? Seriously give this one some thought.
As much as you have a connection with this one person, sometimes the timing doesn't work. Don't pine away for someone during the best years of your life. If it was meant to be, they'd prioritize you as much as you have prioritized them.
Question: Should I continue waiting for the person who abandoned me, came back and lied to my face and left again after promising to never do so?
Answer: Curiously, the one thing you did not say is that you LOVE this person and that is good because the way they're treating you is neither loving nor respectful. You need to love and respect yourself, too, and not allow others to treat you so dismissively and manipulatively.
People teach others how to treat them, so your challenge is to do a better job teaching others to respect you. This person 1) abandoned you twice, 2) lied to your face, and 3) broke their promise. Forget "continuing to wait" for them. Why are you waiting for them NOW? Stop communicating with them. Cut them out of your life and redouble your efforts on making yourself whole and happy. Contrary to the movies, you don't need another person to "complete" you. You're good enough by yourself.
If you need to, seek the assistance of a professional therapist or counselor (e.g., counseling or clinical psychologist, licensed clinical social worker) to build healthier self-esteem and relationship habits.
Kick this person to the curb and demand more of both yourself and those you care about. You can do this! I'm rooting for you.
Question: A friend and I like each other and flirt a lot, but she turns me down whenever I ask her out. Should I stop flirting so neither of us gets hurt or wait it out?
Answer: If you’re sure that the flirting is mutual rather than just your wishful thinking, there’s a reason for her hesitancy, a reason she’s keeping you in the friend zone. Your challenge is to find a way to have a comfortable, open conversation about why she continues to flirt back but won’t take your relationship forward.
Do you discuss important life issues with her (or is conversation all just fluff)? Does she share her secrets and important personal information about herself? Have you done the same? If not, work on deepening your relationship trust and forget about what you “call” your relationship for now. Trust is critical.
Women need to feel valued as human beings—smart, funny, capable, generous, creative, hard-working, kind, talented, etc. So often young women, in particular, are valued primarily for their attractiveness. Make sure she knows what you appreciate about her. (Maybe if your mutual flirting progresses it can include touching her hand or shoulder when you talk to her, but only if it’s welcome.) As your relationship becomes more relaxed and open, you’ll be able to have a more open discussion about what is holding her back. I can think of some possibilities, but they may or may not apply to your friend:
a) she’s doesn’t want to lose your friendship if your love connection doesn’t work out
b) you’re rushing things, or she’s not ready for a dating relationship
c) something in your past dating history makes her uncomfortable (perhaps you’ve dated a friend of hers, dated a lot of girls, cheated on someone or treated them poorly, etc.)
d) she likes someone else and doesn’t know how to tell you
e) the flirting is just a fun game with you and she doesn’t mean to imply there ever will be a next step relationship-wise or sexually (OUCH – this is what you fear, isn’t it?).
Although you may fear rejection, it’s much better to know than always wonder, “What if?” We have ALL liked, been attracted to, and even loved people who haven’t felt the same way. Pursue the matter with your friend until you get an answer that either delights or disappoints, and honor her decision either way.
Question: I love a man who I don't think feels the same for me. However, he got upset when he found out I am friends with my ex who took me to dinner and a movie. Why did he get upset over that? When I asked for a second chance with him, he said he doesn't think it will work.
Answer: Based on the limited information I have here, he seems to want it both ways. In short, he seems to be jealous of your ex. He wants your affections and attention to himself but doesn't want to do the hard emotional work of opening up about how he feels about you. He doesn't want to articulate any level of commitment. Thus you have been left guessing. (Is this guy a technical fellow, like an engineer perhaps?)
Perhaps he doesn't feel as strongly as you do, has trouble expressing himself, or isn't ready to be exclusive. You just cannot know unless he shares his feelings. The fact that he's upset at you going out with your ex suggests, however, that he believes you violated an UNSPOKEN agreement, a trust between you.
As adults, you were both obligated to have a conversation about expectations for exclusive dating vs. seeing other people and what constitutes "cheating." Don't shoulder the blame for this exclusively. Tell him why you went out with your ex. Tell him you had no idea how he felt about you and still don't. Tell him that if he cares about you, he needs to speak the hell up.
Question: I was with my boyfriend for three months. I fell head over heels for him. We felt so I love. He broke my heart. He cheated on me with his ex. I have been asking for another chance to make it work. Am I crazy?
Answer: You say that "WE felt so in love." Unfortunately, you were in love with different people. While you may have fallen for him, he was still committed in his heart to his ex. I'm sorry he broke your heart. Don't let him do it again though. (We've all fallen for bad characters from time to time. Just LEARN from your mistake.)
Do not ask for another chance unless you enjoy disappointment and pain. You are not crazy, but taking him back would be foolish given that he was so untrustworthy after only three months! Kick his rear end to the curb, take a real good look at your self-respect, and take your sweet time finding a replacement beau. You deserve someone who loves YOU, not some memory of a past lover. He was kissing you and thinking about her all along.
I say all this out of sisterly love. You'll make it through this!
Question: This guy and I grew up together, and he has returned from abroad to look for me. Our feelings have not changed for one other, although I am currently married with twins. He got married and divorced the woman a year later. He is waiting and trying to be “level headed.” Any help?
Answer: Currently, you’re married with twins, and if you want to be with this childhood friend, then you know you’re going to have to get divorced. Are you ready to do that -- separate from your husband and seek a divorce? I suspect that part of the attraction is the forbidden nature of your relationship and the fact that he offers you an escape from the day-to-day drudgeries of family responsibilities. He probably also flirts with you and shows interest in you in ways that your husband no longer does.
First, talk openly with your man friend about what his specific intentions are. Does he plan to marry you and make a family with you and your twins? Does he want something much less? Are you unhappy enough in your marriage that you want your independence regardless of whether this other relationship works out? Based on the answers to these questions, consider having a difficult but open conversation with your husband about your extramarital friendship to determine whether your marriage is worth saving.
Question: The only person I love loves someone else. Advice?
Answer: If you truly love them and you know that they are in love and committed to another person, it's best that you honor their relationship.
They make a decision every day they stay with that person. The most you can really do is tell them that their lover/sweetheart is a truly lucky person and you hope to find someone as wonderful as them. Then leave the topic alone. That message communicates your fondness and they'll get the point, but you respect their boundaries. You don't want to lose them as a friend do you?
Question: The woman I love is married with kids, and I live with my partner and our child. We have fallen head over heels for each other and can talk about anything with each other. It is a much easier, more natural and open relationship than what we each have with our partners. Are we stupid? Should we do anything?
Answer: You are both currently entangled emotionally, practically, and legally in other committed relationships. However, that doesn't mean you cannot get out of those respective relationships by moving out and pursuing your affair with one another. (I say "affair" because even if you haven't been physical yet, you have each emotionally betrayed your partners. Partners can be unfaithful emotionally and/or physically.)
First, be totally honest with your sweetheart whether this is a relationship that you want to pursue and break up both families over. You know that several children are involved, and your decision has major ramifications on their lives. Be candid about your respective short-term needs and long-term intentions regarding this relationship. For example, are you looking for an exciting, sexual change of pace during a rough patch in your primary relationships? A friend with benefits for an indefinite period of time? A lifetime partner? Keep in mind that the percentage of affairs that end in marriage is extremely small (under 5%), and of those that do end in marriage, three-quarters end in divorce within five years. Although the odds are not in your favor, that doesn't mean you can't succeed.
Second, if you decide not to pursue your relationship with your sweetheart, consider whether you two should continue your relationship at all. One of your respective partners is bound to suspect something--if they haven't already. One of the best ways to throw water on a sizzling relationship for the health of a marriage is to simply tell your spouse (or significant other, in your case) about the extracurricular attraction. It sure takes away all the mystery.
You're not stupid, just probably lonely in your current relationship. You've met someone else who is similarly vulnerable. Good luck in doing what is best.
Question: How long should I wait for my love?
Answer: Give him six months to come around, but let me specify that in this time I mean this involves you not actively pursuing other dating relationships and advertising yourself as single (e.g., going to singles clubs, getting on dating apps). However, if someone you like asks you out, don't turn them down. Do not stop living your life because he can't see your value or cannot make room for you in his life right now.
Question: My long-distance boyfriend has wrongly been locked up for something he didn’t do, what do I do?
Answer: I know you trust him, but because you were not there you cannot be certain what happened to cause his arrest and/or conviction. You're getting his side of the story exclusively. There should probably be a nagging feeling in you that matches the questions your family or friends have about this relationship.
Therefore, take a moment to genuinely reflect on how well you really know your boyfriend, as yours is a long-distance relationship and you're not around one another frequently. Even people who have been married to one another have been fooled by a partner. It happens, so consider it. A background check on him might divulge that there is information about him that you didn't previously know (e.g., prior convictions, addresses, bankruptcies, aliases, marital status). Or, it could confirm that there are no discrepancies in certain information you already have about him.
Even if you believe him 100%, assess whether he bears ANY responsibility for his predicament and whether he is owning up to it. Unless it's a case of mistaken identity, there are always behaviors he could have done differently. If you still want to support him, offer him moral encouragement in the form of cards and letters but not financial support.
Question: Should I wait for a person who used to love me even though I'm not sure they still do?
Answer: Let's first be clear about what you're asking. You want to know whether you should put your love life on hold for someone indefinitely without knowing how they feel about you. Phrasing it that way, doesn't it seem more unreasonable for you to do that?
People wait for lovers for a variety of reasons. Some reasons are better than others. Examples include one partner moving away due to a job, military deployment, schooling, incarceration, etc. Alternatively, one partner may be married or involved with someone else.
The couple stands a better chance if both partners are firmly committed to a plan for getting together. However, you haven't expressed your desire to reunite. Before waiting, you might want to do that at least and determine how long you will delay your happiness on someone else. You also need to decide whether waiting constitutes continuing to date around or being completely out of the dating game.
There are many people out there who could potentially fulfill your happiness. I don't understand why you'd want to go "all in" by putting your life on hold for someone who doesn't know you're waiting. You deserve better.
Question: My friend and I like each other, but her parents won’t let her communicate with me. This is hard because we always see each other, and now she is starting to turn away from me. Any advice on how I could handle this?
Answer: It's obvious that your friend's parents have a substantial influence on her decision making, and for some reason, they object strongly to her relationship with you. The important question is WHY? Their influence upon her may be reasonable or not, depending on her maturity level, age, and capacity for self-governance. Consider whether any of the following may be accurate:
1) Are you in some way disliked or perceived by the parents as a poor influence? The reason could be a good one like drug use or a terrible one like race/ethnicity. Regardless, you deserve to know the real reason.
2) Are they punishing her for something, whether related to you or not (i.e., putting her on restriction, and thus the estrangement is not permanent)?
3) Do her parents forbid her from dating ANYONE until a certain age or forbid her from dating all people of a certain category? If so, this forced estrangement is not about you specifically.
4) Is there a chance she is using her parents as an excuse to reject you? Don't automatically dismiss this possibility. If she places a lot of value on being "nice" and not hurting people's feelings, then this could be it.
5) If you're talking about a same-sex love attraction, the parents could be homophobic and/or your friend may not be ready to come out.
Knowing more about why your friend's parents have supposedly done this will help you decide how to respond. Try to gain clarity by either talking to a mutual friend (assuming you cannot talk directly with your friend) or by writing a letter to your friend. It's okay to express that you miss her, but you should also express a desire to honor what makes her happy. If she is moving on, make sure she knows the door is always open and you want to remain cordial.
I hope you get the answers you need. It's my personal experience that two people who truly WANT to be together CANNOT be kept apart, regardless of what parents say. Typically, forbidding a relationship makes it all the MORE attractive! I know that from having been a teenager once and from being a parent and aunt to teens and young adults now.
Question: I've been in limbo for 3 years over one guy. I want to be with him, but at the same time, I want to be over him. I feel like I've pushed him away. I keep getting mixed messages from him. I'm leaving for college soon. He knows this and is going to be 7 hours away. Is this relationship worth holding out for?
Answer: You're not in a stable relationship with this guy, but you certainly have "unfinished business" with him emotionally. You need to get this guy out of your system before you leave for college. Stop wondering and get your answer. Go to him in person and be 100% honest about your feelings. Know that you might get hurt with his answers, but at least you'll know the truth. Three years in limbo is way too long. If you don't have this conversation with him now, then one day you'll be someone else's wife still wondering about him.
Tell your fella that you're getting mixed messages and you require some straight talk about how you feel for one another. Describe the mixed signals. Admit you've sent them too! Be ready to tell him precisely how you feel. Ask him point blank how he feels about you.
Here's a word of caution. Have a summer romance with him if that's where this leads, but agree that you'll date other people at the end of the summer. Don't go into your freshman year with a long distance boyfriend. It just doesn't work out. You need to meet and date new young men at college and give him the freedom to date other girls while you're away. You can date one another when you come home from college if that's what both of you choose to do. Setting expectations right up front (rather than waiting until the end of the summer) usually means less drama.
Question: What if you’re well into your teens and have never had a crush, thought anyone was cute or attractive, and you are unsure of why? Will I ever find love and the “right one”? Can someone help me?
Answer: There are a variety of possibilities. If you've lived a fairly isolated or controlled life and do not have a lot of opportunities to connect with a variety of other people your age in meaningful ways, perhaps you haven't yet met anyone you'd be attracted to in that way. Since you are still in your teens, also keep in mind that people mature physically at different rates. Another possibility is perhaps your hormones have not fully kicked in yet. Alternatively, you might have a medical condition (e.g., depression, diabetes, thyroid problems) -- diagnosed or not. Perhaps you take medications (e.g., certain ADD/ADHD medications) and this is a possible side effect. Finally, a small segment of people simply have low or no sex drive and may identify as asexual. It doesn't mean they are abnormal or are doomed to a life of loneliness, however.
Since this obviously bothers you, ask your parents/arrange for an annual physical with your family physician where you can describe your problem. Request testing to ensure your hormones are in check and you have no underlying health problems. If you are concerned and need to talk to a counselor, ask the doctor for a referral to a good mental health counselor or clinical psychologist.
Don't feel timid about being blunt with your doctor about your health and your concerns. They've heard everything before and are there to help you.
Question: For months my friend and I have been close, and we have developed feelings for one another. The problem is I might go and never see her again, but I still love her. She's not ready for a relationship, particularly one that is long distance. What do I do?
Answer: Life is all about timing, unfortunately. For you and your special friend, it seems that your timing is off for a romantic relationship right now. That doesn't necessarily preclude being in a relationship together in the future.
As for right now, you cannot live in fear of what might or might not happen. Sure, you might go away due to work, military, schooling, prison, etc. (You didn't say the reason why.) On the other hand, you might not. To say you may never see her again is a choice up to you both. You can choose to stay in contact, maintaining a friendship via social media, email, text, FaceTime, and even the mail. You know she's not ready for a commitment, but you can still stay connected.
As for right now, while you are still with one another, why not promise one another to make the most of whatever time you have left together? Emphasize enjoyment and making memories. Create a fun bucket list of what you want to do together, both now and in the future and start checking off the items. Having this list will give you something to refer to when you connect again -- memories you made as well as things you have yet to complete.
You don't have to define your relationship as one thing or another (either "just friends" or a committed relationship). Just be whatever you two are together but make it quality.
© 2017 FlourishAnyway
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 25, 2020:
Peggy - I'm glad you enjoyed this list. Thank you for stopping by.
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 25, 2020:
I like the quote you used at the end. The song "Unchained" is a good one. I also enjoyed the movie in which it was played. Your list of songs is a long one, as usual, and the topic deserves it.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 18, 2020:
Lonely Heart - Thanks for telling your story. I think you should buy the keychain and send it to her with a message that you still think about her. She is probably as embarrassed about the situation that let to your relationship breakup as you are (although in a different way). Your values are very different but you obviously still care for her.
Lonely Heart on April 17, 2020:
I've only had one girlfriend, in my entire life. I was homeschooled until my Jr. year of high school. On my first day at my new school, I saw her and had a crush on her instantly. We talked a lot and got along well, but I was too scared to say anything. She was smart, pretty, and a cheerleader. I was the new kid. I felt like the Brandi Carlile song "Dreams" was written about me.
We finally ended up going to prom together. (A mutual friend asked me if I would ask the girl while she was standing right next to us.) Turned out the girl liked me too.
We started dating and continued for about six months. I even made myself better for her. I beat an addiction I had because I wanted to be better for her.
The problem came when we were alone at her house together and we kissed. The next thing I knew she was on top of me. I was scared to death. I shoved her off. (I am a Christian and I don't believe in premarital sex.) The next time I saw her was at the Starbux where she broke up with me.
This was over a year ago now and every time I think I'm over her, something happens to remind me I'm not. I walked into a truck stop not too long ago and saw an elephant key chain and I had the thought that I should get that for her. (She loved elephants.)
I think about her with longing. I wish I had done something different.
To make matters worse, I heard second-hand stories from my friends about things she did. I don't know if they're true or not and I don't know what to think about her anymore. I wish I could just stop thinking about her, but I can't.
That's my story anyway. Thanks for listening.
P.S. On a side note, since all this happened, a common theme in the screenplays I write is the hero loving someone who left him and his having to deal with that. Write about what you know I guess.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 11, 2019:
Christina - That sounds like that would be from the playlist, songs about toxic love relationships: https://hubpages.com/playlists/Songs-About-Toxic-L... Good luck in keeping yourself healthy emotionally.
Christina Stephens on December 10, 2019:
Any songs about someone who loves you but you can't love them back due to boundaries?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 15, 2019:
Broken hearted - I'm sorry that you feel so dejected, but he does need to get right with himself before he can bring another person into the equation. Besides, dating is strongly discouraged during the first year of 12-step programs. It may be beneficial for you to seek counseling yourself regarding codependency.
Broken hearted on September 14, 2019:
We met and a few months later started dating. A good while into our relationship he acknowledged he had a drinking problem and went to rehab. I stood by his side and supported him. He came home from rehab and I continued thay support. Not to long ago he confessed to me he has been sneaking drinks and it caused a vicious cycle of him drinking then feeling bad and drinking more. He said he feels like he’s bringing me down and not giving me what he deserves. He feels truly unhappy with himself. He loves me and said I’ve done nothing wrong and I’ve been amazing to him, but he needs to take this journey alone. He needs to find happiness within himself and hopefully his sobriety. He moved his stuff out. I feel so lost. I miss him every moment of every day. I’m trying to give him space but also he here if he needs me. I pray this journey makes him into a better and happier man and in the end brings us back to each other
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 12, 2019:
Felo - I wish you well, although I do caution you regarding workplace romances. Just saying.
Felo on July 17, 2019:
We call each other babe and it has been 3 years working together.He recently told me that he loves me and he wanted to tell me all this time but didn't have courage to tell cause he has been buying me things and gives me warm hugs.We would text one other blowing kisses as when he say I love I would respond quick but now I don't know what to say and it happened we kiss for very long time
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 29, 2019:
Sean - You both betrayed one another's trust. She wasn't candid with you about the other guy and you reported her to her parents intending to get her in trouble with them. We all do things we regret. The question is whether she can forgive this.
Sean Boen on June 28, 2019:
So this started as a little tiny crush, from me to her. Although I had a crush, I was too afraid and flustered to talk to her. As time went on, I eventually gathered enough courage to talk to her. I got her number, and we texted for a while, until I was finally able to think of a way to tell her. I’m extremely different so I decided to text her binary code, saying that I liked her. At this time she had a crush on another guy, but he showed no interest in her. Then for some reason, they decided to tell each other who they liked, and they traded papers, walked away, and saw that they wrote each other’s name down. She was super excited, but I knew he didn’t actually have a crush on her. So when me and the girl started to talk, we had ups and downs. I would always help her if she had a breakdown, or needed help with something. This started to strengthen our bond together, and she began slowly liking me. While the other guy was leading her down a dangerous path, not like drugs, but like lying about liking her, and making her worry about him. He kept saying that he was gonna commit suicide which he really wasn’t. Then, on top of that her parents were super strict about grades, and expected 85%+ and we go to a super college prep school which regularly has people going to top universities. So she has a lot of stress boiling on at home studying, then she gets this guy. Who is making her stress almost crack. Then comes Valentine’s Day, and I’m the type of guy who, once he sets his sights on someone, he is willing to do anything. Not stalking or forcefully of course. So I get her some flowers, and I deliever them to her VERY awkwardly. Then a week after that, I find out she has liked me for some time. I was so happy, and so was she. We went to movies together with some parental supervision, then to a couple dinners together (parental supervision) of course. Then I say things too soon, and her mom finds out, I was banned from texting. I understand that, and then a couple weeks later, we were just writing letters, and since we knew each others lockers, we set the letters in the other persons locker, and we responded everyday. It was nice. Then I guess her mom found the letters, and I don’t know why, because I never wrote anything bad in them, but she didn’t allow us to even communicate anymore. With 5 weeks left in school, this was extremely hard to do. Because we loved to talk, sometimes we actually talked all night, without ever sleeping. Now we had to go a night without talking or reading the letter. It was a depressing 5 weeks. I thought the guy got me in trouble with the letters, and I was eventually correct. Because I talked to him, and he said he did it. So I just about had my last straw. She had liked him, REMEMBER, she had never really talked to him in person like me, she really liked me, then she liked him at the same time, and did a flip. Even though he had never even talked to her. I was left in sadness, and was completely broken. We both had the time of our lives while we liked eachother. Then she went back to the guy that had lied to her, and played with her feelings. I know I shouldn’t have, because he was leaving at the end of the year, but I was still mad about the letter thing, and I had feelings you shouldn’t want, I wanted revenge. So I decided when he sent me a screenshot with her using the word “love” towards him. I was gonna send it to her parents, because I was very mad at him, it wasn’t just that I was angry with him, the time and the place just made me even more angry. So I was so happy when I sent it. Because my heart honestly broke when I saw this. Because I never did anything to try to actually hurt her. I’m an extremely loyal guy, whenever I have a girl that I really like, I won’t betray her, for all the money in the world, or anything. So I was left in tears that I saw it, but a sliver of me was happy. This got worse as time went on, because we had finals the week that happened. So it felt like she did this on purpose. And this has caught up to real time.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 19, 2019:
Clarita Grey - Thanks for the song suggestion. Concentrate on being as happy and fulfilled as in your own life, in being a healthy you and in being a positive person with a lot to offer a potential mate. Don't close yourself off to other options. Love may find you when you least expect it to.
Clarita Grey on May 18, 2019:
I love this guy. He is everything to me. He just doesn't even really care. I don't know where he is. He is my soulmate. My favorite song that represents us is SOULMATE by NATASHA REDINGFIELD. Great song.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 05, 2018:
Matthew Adams - Thanks for the song suggestion. It's a beautiful song and I've added it at #53. Have a wonderful week.
Matthew Adams on September 05, 2018:
A great song is “If You Met Me First” by Eric Ethridge. The singer is stating that if the girl he loves would have met him before she met the man she’s with, that he could have loved her more.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 25, 2018:
Kaden - Try expressing to her how you feel about her and telling her why you stood up for her as well as how dangerous and disrespectful it is for an ex-boyfriend or current boyfriend to threaten a woman (sign of abuse). You should give her space to back away from the negative relationship she has with him without interfering. You don't have to back away altogether, just let her figure it out and do the right thing for herself. Hopefully she will.
Kaden on August 24, 2018:
I have this feeling inside me that i feel happy or sad or what ever the feelings that she has and i just don't know what to do becuse she and her bf just broke up and i old her how i felt and she noticed i would seem mad at one moment and then she would cheer me up we would always hang out and have fun but then again she did git mad at me becuse i tried to stand up for her wean he came by were we hung out and threatened her so i stood up and told him to back off i honestly don't know what to do right now.
should i let her be mad at me or should i try to fix why she is mad at me?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 22, 2018:
anonymous - Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience.
anonymous on July 15, 2018:
We had been talking online for about a month now and we had met yesterday. But she is too BG in her work and is focused on her career. I also wanted to be focused but it feels so sad when she ain't got time to talk with me. I think I have fallen for her. Or maybe it's coz of my past failure experiences. As I don't talk with most girls, and I don't get response to my feelings from every1 as she reacts to them, I think she is the one.
I really think she is good and want her to be mine, but I fear, I can't hold her.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 29, 2018:
David Thomas - You're willing to wait 2 years for a woman who simply break up with her boyfriend who cheats on her repeatedly? Oh, no! She doesn't seem to want to end it. There's something toxic about their relationship, and apparently she enjoys having you as someone to flirt with and emotionally cheat with (yes, that's what she's doing). If I were you, which I am not, I would emphasize my feelings but tell her to let me know when she is single and ready to pursue an open relationship. Go be a healthy young person and pursue other romantic relationships and friendships. If it's meant to be, she'll realize what she has lost. Yes, this will hurt like hell, but it's all for the best. Because the way you've been living has been misery, hasn't it ... waiting on someone else's girlfriend to make up their mind? You deserve someone who will proudly call you their boyfriend. Just my take.
David Thomas on April 29, 2018:
I met her a year ago, we were friends but i already fell for her since the first time i met her. She had boyfriend already. That's why i couldn't express my feelings to her. Time went on. As we got to know each other, she was cheated often by her bf but she still tried to hold on. In the mean time, i couldnt resist my feelings so i let it out on her. She trusted me, believed me about my feelings for her. She is just waiting for her bf to leave her now. And for that she told me to wait for 2 years. I said i will wait. She said she wont do anything for the reason of breakup. She presently wants her bf to become better a person only. She lost all hope with him. She doesnt have courage to discuss breaking up with him. And yeah her bf is getting better. But i dont know whether he will leave her or not, or must i wait or not. Yeah i know my feelings for her is so true. So true.
Should i still consider to wait?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 15, 2017:
Jeffrey - That is quite a story! Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you both.
Jeffrey Anderson on December 14, 2017:
My fiancee ANNA Johnson moved to kansas amd didn't want to tarnish our relationship she told me to wait four years for her then track her down and get her i will find you Anna Johnson i love you always and forever
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 27, 2017:
Nick - Thank you for sharing your story. If this is meant to work out, you will both find a way.
Nick on October 26, 2017:
I met this girl last year she didn’t like me at first day cos she just got out of a relationship but she eventually started to feel the same then one day she told me how she felt but said she wasn’t ready and asked me to wait, I had already spent 9 months talking to this girl everyday but I let it all get to my head when she finally told me, she started to push me away and I let her and we stopped speaking after about 3 months she text me again and we was speaking on and off for a few months but she got herself a new bf, Sr recently came back into my life talking about how she misses me and regrets how things went with us and how she feels like she made a mistake with the one she chose but she hasn’t left her bf yet, I feel like a dick for still being in her life and I wish I could just walk away but I can’t cos I know she’s in lie with me and I understand why she won’t leave her bf cos he has the job and the house and the money where as I have currently fallen on bad times and wouldn’t be able to give her what she deserves
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 23, 2017:
Kaze - I'm concerned you are overly invested in someone who has turned you down, already given you her final answer. Accept that gracefully for your own dignity.
You mention "stalking." If indeed you are stalking her, you need to cut it out. Now.
KAZE on October 23, 2017:
i love this girl names Nina Lynn Porazo Berador, she's not the prettiest girl in the world.. but she made my world the prettiest, even if ti was just a borrowed time. i can't force her to comeback even if i beg on bended knees in public. i have lost my happiness the moment she walks out of my life.
she might not read this nor even notice, i can't be enough for her.. why would she settle for a guy who's keep reaching on towards the clouds, when she already owns the sky. it's been years since she ignored me. i kept on stalking towards her, seeing her happy makes me happy. i would rather leave alone in pain than to drag her within my misery.
my heart says that i should go and annoy her once more, but whenever i see her photos i just cant. this love grows stronger while it makes me weak.
even if i turn this heart into steel, just a glimpse of her would melt it away and turn it into a beautiful sculpture. yes, she ignores me. i sent her countless of messages. i guess that's just how it is towards some people.
you just cant have the one that you love the most. what ever happens, she'll always be my BOSS, my BABY GIRL and my Universe.
i still shout her name on hilltops, wishing on stars, hoping for her to come back and dreaming to spend my lifetime with her. 4 years of what is nothing.. i will still wait for her.. I Love HER no matter what
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 22, 2017:
Elijah - Five years is a long time to wait. I encourage both of you to live your lives separately to the fullest, even if that means loving others. If it's meant to be you'll find your way back to one another later on. Been there.
elijah on July 22, 2017:
Met her parents decided we wernt allowed to talk anymore. Because we were in love, that didn't stop us, we continues talking everyday for 4 months behind her parents back.after that, they found out again, this time taking her tablet away. We are now forced to wait 5 years to talk again, and even longer to hold her in my arms to really be with her. I just have to wait (and trust she still loves me in 5 years)
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 09, 2017:
Faith Reaper - Oh, absolutely not, dear lady. I've just been under the weather with a stomache bug and am slow to respond sometimes. So sorry.
Faith Reaper from southern USA on February 08, 2017:
Hi Flourish, I know I left a comment last night ... is anything wrong with my comment?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 08, 2017:
Faith Reaper - So glad to see you again! Thank you for stopping by. I sure hope that you are doing well!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 08, 2017:
Heidi - Thanks for stopping by! I hope life is treating you well these days! Have a great week.
Faith Reaper from southern USA on February 07, 2017:
Hi Flourish, Aw, Thank you for sharing your story of waiting ...and so glad it worked out! Sweet. You've covered the waiting for love songs so well here that I can't think of another one ...well, maybe John Waites' song Missing You? Well, he's trying to tell himself he's not missing her miles away.
There are so many different scenarios that could come into play as far as waiting for one's true love/soulmate. In some instances I would imagine it to be tormenting.
Oh, I see Frank is back on the scene and with a great song from long ago ...Happy Together ..."The only one for me is you ..." Makes me smile too.
Thanks for another awesome list that brings back a lot memories, Flourish.
Heidi Thorne from Chicago Area on February 07, 2017:
As soon as I saw the title of your post on my email alerts, the Foreigner song came immediately to mind. Another great list. Happy Tuesday!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 07, 2017:
MsDora - He's got a lovely voice as well. Thank you for reading and for your kind words of support.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 07, 2017:
Nithya - Thank you for taking the time to stop by. I'm glad I could capture some of your favorites. Have a great week!
Nithya Venkat from Dubai on February 06, 2017:
A great selection of songs, it is worth waiting for true love. These songs convey the feeling so aptly. Many of these songs are my favorites.
Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on February 06, 2017:
Beautiful them and I like the Josh Turner lyrics. You make it easy to find a song to fit the mood. Thanks.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 05, 2017:
Martie - Thank you for your kind words of support. I appreciate you.
Martie Coetser from South Africa on February 05, 2017:
Perfect playlist covering 'waiting for the right one'. I wish I had time to get all these songs on a DVD. Thanks, FlourishAnyway!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 04, 2017:
Genna - It's a wonderful thing when you have it and when you don't, one can at least make themselves a better, more complete individual. Thank you for reading and commenting. I'm happy you enjoyed this!
Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on February 04, 2017:
True love is definitely worth waiting for! We each have a soul mate. You've done it again, with this great article. So many of my favs on your list. Loggins; Adele; The Righteous Brothers; and more. Thank you for these moments of beautiful music.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 04, 2017:
Gypsy Rose Lee - That's one of my favorites as well. Some songs are timeless. Thanks for reading!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 04, 2017:
Frank - Perhaps it's a bit of both. Have a great weekend!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 04, 2017:
Linda - Many of them do have an undertone of sadness to them, as it is lonely being apart from the one you love or worse yet not being loved back in equal measure. Thank you for stopping by and for always being so supportive.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 04, 2017:
Thank you, Larry, for your kind words of encouragement.
Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on February 04, 2017:
A wonderful hub as always. So many wonderful songs. I remember always really enjoying So Far Away by Carole King. Had almost forgotten the song so thanks for the reminder. These musical hubs always inspire and remind me of favorites that I haven't heard in a while.
Frank Atanacio from Shelton on February 04, 2017:
Flourish I always enjoy your playlists and thinking about songs of the past. As I was reading this the Turtles tune Happy Together started playing in the back ground.. yeah.. now I don't know which made me smile, your hub or that song ...:) LOL
Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on February 03, 2017:
The songs and their descriptions sound sad and appealing at the same time. There are some artists and music in this article that I definitely want to explore. Thanks once again for expanding my musical horizons, Flourish.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 03, 2017:
Kyriaki - Thank you for always taking the time to stop by! Glad you enjoyed it. It was tough to choose between Phil Collins' and The Supremes' versions of that song.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 03, 2017:
Bill - I haven't heard that song in years. It was surprising to learn of its original contexts. Hope you are well. Have a great weekend.
Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on February 03, 2017:
I always enjoy your list so much:-)
Kyriaki Chatzi on February 03, 2017:
Once again an amazing piece, Flourish. What a lovely set of songs! You had me at "Phil Collins". :)
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on February 03, 2017:
Nothing came to mind for me, but this is a great list. Love "Unchained Melody"....one of the greats.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 03, 2017:
Coffeequeeen - It's a good song. Glad you enjoyed the list. Have a terrific weekend!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 03, 2017:
Jo - Good for you on both counts! Sometimes it's the surprises that are the best things in life. Glad you took care of you first. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.
Louise Powles from Norfolk, England on February 03, 2017:
There's so many songs here I enjoy listening too. Richard Marx is on the top of my list though from this selection.
Jo Miller from Tennessee on February 03, 2017:
I waited about 20 years to find my soul mate, but didn't know that's what I was waiting for. I don't think I'd sit around and pine about anyone for too long without some promise of a love to come.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 03, 2017:
Linda - It's got to be extra difficult not knowing for certain that your loved one is safe, being in harm's way serving our country. Thank you for stopping by. Have a wonderful weekend.
Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on February 02, 2017:
Flourish - As I read through this article, my thoughts went to all of those who have a spouse or loved one who is away because of a call to duty -- it could be serving in the military, or working as a civilian overseas. My heart aches for everyone who is in that circumstance--the separation, the worry, all of the missed-moments with children, etc. That a beautiful hub!