FlourishAnyway believes there is a playlist for just about any situation and is on a mission to unite and entertain the world through song.
Crushes: You're More Obvious Than You Believe
Crushes aren't just for teens. Adults get them too.
If your crush is on a coworker, neighbor, classmate, or friend, you probably daydream about taking the relationship to the next level. You earnestly believe your crush is your little secret. However, here's a news flash: the signs you're giving out are like a blinking neon light.
While you pine away and plan your next move, here's a playlist of pop, rock, country, and R&B songs about crushing on someone. Enjoy them as you think about your beloved. If you dare, you could even create a customized songlist and send it to your crush to let them know how you feel. Let us know how it turns out!
1. "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendes
Oh, wow. He says he'll stop time for her.
The narrator in this 2016 pop hit currently sits squarely in the Friend Zone. However, he's looking for a sign from his crush that she wants to take it to the next level. One little problem: she's another dude's girlfriend. But don't fret because this is not a man who is easily dissuaded. Just give him a sign, girl, and don't take too long.
2. "You Belong with Me" by Taylor Swift
A crush can sure make you feel like a teenager, even if you aren't. In this 2009 country song, the only obstacle standing between the teenage narrator and her best male friend is his girlfriend.
Citing common interests in music and a shared sense of personal style and music, Taylor Swift's narrator makes it her mission to convince her love interest that what he's been waiting has been here all along.
3. "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins
This 1992 rock song is 50 shades of awesome and sounds like a great pick up line. The narrator takes a look at that tall drink of water she's been crushing on and paints a dirty little picture of what she'd like to do to him:
Damn, I wish I was your lover
I'll rock you till the daylight comes
Make sure you are smilin' and warm
I am everything, tonight I'll be your mother
I will do such things to ease your pain
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed, oh, oh
Open up on the inside, gonna fill you up, gonna make you cry.
4. "Crush" by David Archuleta
The guy in this 2008 pop song has just realized that he's crushing bad. His thoughts are dominated by his sweetie, he's mesmerized by her, and he feels so tingly he thinks it could be love or something like it. He needs to know whether he's alone in this little love affair or if just maybe she feels the same way.
12 Signs That Someone Has a Crush on You
They typically start the conversation.
They listen intently to you.
They always seem to be nearby.
None of your love interests are good enough for you, in their opinion.
You look over and they are frequently staring at you.
They offer you compliments and small gifts.
They change the subject when you talk about other dating partners.
They joke about dating or crazy what ifs. They talk in future tense about the two of you.
They smile at you a LOT, often with a big goofy grin.
They find excuses to touch you or be alone together.
They remember details about you that others don't.
Others tell you that the person likes you.
5. "Stuck Like Glue" by Sugarland
My teenage daughter described a cute crush story in which she and her best guy friend sat listening to this 2010 country song on repeat. The fella had one earbud in his ear and she had the other in hers. Together they belted out the lyrics to one another. But alas, they date other people.
This song is about feeling totally nuts about someone you've known for a long time. You may argue vigorously with them, but they make you feel like a kid. Your interpersonal attraction makes you stick together like super glue. It could describe best friends with a spark.
6. "Into You" by Ariana Grande
The narrator in this 2016 pop song is waiting for her crush to make a move. She wants a little less conversation and a little more action. Everybody's watching. Don't choke, Mr.!
7. "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne
The confident girl in this sassy pop song from 2007 spells it right out. She doesn't like her crush's girlfriend, and time has come for him to find a new one. He deserves better, and she'll give him what he needs.
The narrator then issues him orders. If only it were this easy:
So come over here
And tell me what I wanna hear
Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear
I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again (and again and again).
8. "Crush" by Mandy Moore
In this 2001 pop song, the female narrator is crushing hard on a guy who shares her feelings—but for another girl, not her. Unfortunately, she can't find her backbone yet to let him in on the secret. Therefore, she may be staying in the Friend Zone forever.
9. “Check Yes Or No” by George Strait
If you grew up in a time before cell phones, you probably remember passing those oragami-folded love notes in class. Often, they required check-box answers.
The narrator in this 1995 country song waxes nostalgic about the sweet love notes that he and his wife once passed in elementary school:
Do you love me? Do you want to be my friend?
And if you do, well then don't be afraid to take me by the hand
If you want to
I think this is how love goes
Check yes or no.
10. "Crush" by Yuna (featuring Usher)
There's a mutual crush forming in this 2016 R&B song. Hearts beat a little faster, and the guy tells this lady friend that she's just wasting time with all those other boys.
11. "Clumsy" by Fergie
Most people lose their wits about them when they have a crush. They smile a lot, stare too much, can't find anything to say, and fumble around like they have no thumbs.
This 2007 pop song will remind you of the funny things crushes have said or done. For example, a guy who once had a crush on me turned around after talking to me and walked smack into a telephone pole.
12. "Call Your Girlfriend" by Robyn
Sweedish singer Robyn issues step-by-step instructions to her intended new flame in this very danceable 2010 pop song. You have to admire a woman who knows what she wants, right?
Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you just met somebody new
13. "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney
The fella in this 2004 pop song claims he just wants his crush and her beautiful soul, but he's also doubting himself a little. He wonders if she's out of his league.
Okay, let's be honest here. In real life, Beauty picks Brad Pitt over the Beast, and Prince Charming picks one of his socialite types rather than Cinderella, the house wench. But it's nice to dream, isn't it?
14. "Girl Crush" by Little Big Town
Hold on. Don't you get all judgmental on me.
If there's one thing this 2014 country ballad is NOT it's typical. The Grammy Award-winning song caused quite a controvery because some fans assumed it was about a lesbian couple.
However, the narrator who is crushing on a girl doesn't want to shag her. She wants everything the other girl has—her long blonde hair, perfume, her lips, and her touch—because they attract the man that she loves. He is the real object of her desire.
15. "I Wanna Be Your Lover” by Prince
Way back in 1979, this chart topper was Prince's first American hit single. It's about a man who yearns to be with his crush and tries to convince her how much better he can treat her than the other men she is accustomed to dating. The narrator doesn't have much money, but he promises to turn his lady love on and be everything she needs.
16. "Yeah Boy" by Kelsea Ballerini
This country song from 2015 was named the best crush song by Radio Disney. Okay, so the song leans young.
The protagonist is entranced by her crush's eyes, and every song on the radio reminds her of him. She wishes he'd wisk her away tonight for a ride in his car and some get-to-know-you-better time.
17. "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon
A tidal wave of love looms large and threatens to overcome the guy in this 1984 pop song. Yet still he's trying to talk himself into sharing his crush for her. (Don't worry, crushes are often too obvious to stay secrets for long.)
She's been his galpal for awhile, but he's looking at her differently these days. The feeling has become so strong that he just can't hold back.
18. "Fallin' For You" by Colbie Callait
Watch out below because this girl is falling hard for the man in her life. In this 2009 pop song, the narrator is dancing with him and holding his hand but feels tentative about revealing her feelings.
19. "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield
The number one rule of friendship is to keep your hands off each others' significant other. However, the lovesick guy in this classic 1981 pop song can't stop thinking about his best friend's girlfriend. The song was based on a friend named Gary and Gary's girlfriend.
20. "Smile" by Uncle Kracker
Love has done a number on the narrator in this 2009 pop song, and he's gushing with compliments about his crush. She's cooler than the flip side of his pillow and makes him forget how to breathe. In her presence, he loses all composure and becomes like a giddy little girl.
Even More Songs About Crushes and Crushing on Someone
21. Hands To Myself
22. Bad Case of Loving You
24. Baby I
25. Love Story
Boys Like Girls
27. I Want to Hold Your Hand
Tegan and Sara
29. Cupid's Chokehold
Gym Class Heroes (featuring Patrick Stump)
30. So Into You
The Atlanta Rhythm Section
31. First Date
32. Stacy's Mom
Fountains of Wayne
33. I Second That Emotion
34. Call Me Maybe
Carly Rae Jepson
35. I Wanna Know
36. Love You Out Loud
37. She Drives Me Crazy
Fine Young Cannibals
38. Me & U
39. U Got It Bad
41. Baby, I Love Your Way
42. Ain't Even Drinkin'
43. Like This
44. There's Your Trouble
45. Why Don't You Make Up Your Mind?
46. #1 Crush
47. I’m On Fire
48. The Way You Make Me Feel
49. You Really Got Me
50. I Can Love You Better
51. I Try to Think About Elvis
53. One Thing
54. Things I'll Never Say
55. One Time
56. Heartbreak Girl
5 Seconds of Summer
57. Teenage Dream
59. Crazy for You
61. The Search Is Over
62. Don't Cry Joni
Conway Twitty (featuring Joni Lee)
64. Only the Good Die Young
65. Hot for Teacher
66. Leave Your Lover for Me
67. Something to Talk About
70. Secret Love Song
Little Mix (featuring Jason Derulo)
71. Can’t Help Falling in Love
73. Hungry Eyes
74. She's Like the Wind
Patrick Swayze (featuring Wendy Fraser)
Goo Goo Dolls
76. Take Your Time
78. My Eyes Adored You
79. I Wanna Get Next to You
80. This Time I Know It's for Real
81. Can't Take My Eyes Off You
83. Sober Up
AJR (featuring Rivers Cuomo)
86. As If
87. Teardrops on My Guitar
88. What I Go To School For
Selena Gomez & The Scene
Nick Jonas (featuring Tove Lo)
91. One Day
92. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
97. Girls Like You
98. Singles You Up
99. Black Butterflies & Déjà Vu
Martin Solveig (featuring Dragonette)
Carolyn Dawn Johnson
Chevy (featuring Park bird)
105. Don't Ever Let It End
106. Notice Me
109. Nobody Love
110. Heartbeat Song
111. Stop Standing There
112. I Really Like You
Carly Rae Jepson
113. Brand New Key
114. The Tide Is High
115. Can't Blame a Girl for Trying
116. Had Me @ Hello
117. Why Her Not Me
118. Eyes Off You
119. One Shot
122. Johnny Angel
123. Tell Him
Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion
124. Whenever You Come Around
125. That's as Close as I'll Get to Loving You
126. Make You Feel My Love
127. Hey Stephen
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Questions & Answers
Question: I want to tell my crush how much I love him, but I am very awkward and afraid of damaging our friendship. He already has a girlfriend, but he doesn't like her. He likes me instead. He never wants to be with his girlfriend; he only wants to be with me. He means the world to me, but he has no clue how I feel. Should I tell him how I feel?
Answer: I'm concerned that you're getting ahead of yourself. First, you know that he's dating someone else, so honor that. If he truly didn't like her or want to be with her, he'd break up with her. Give him the space to figure that out for himself instead of being the cause of it. You wouldn't want anyone creating trouble in your dating relationship, would you?
Second, since you say he has no clue how you feel, going from that to professing undying love is like going from zero to 100. Slow down. Work on a friendship with him instead while he works out his relationship issues. There's nothing wrong with letting him know that IF he ever becomes single, then you'd be interested. Or, you might say that he's your kind of guy, his girlfriend is very lucky, and ask him where you would meet someone like him? It gets the point across well enough.
If he likes you as well as you claim he does, then you'll end up together. While he figures it out, however, don't stop looking elsewhere.
Question: I have a crush in my school. She's about my age. I want to tell her that I like her since it's our final year in school. However, I don't have the guts to do so. She's smart, kind, and pretty, and I know she's out of my league. Should I forget about my secret crush or just tell her the truth?
Answer: Think about it this way. I know people who went to high school 40 years ago who had a crush on a classmate but never took the chance to express themselves or ask the person out. You don't want to be one of them, do you?
Since you're both in your last year in school, you need to take the chance while you have it. You don't have to express undying love for her, just ask her out. Just because you may be an unlikely couple doesn't mean you're beneath her.
If it turns out that indeed she does not share your romantic interest, at least you have her out of your system. You won't be left wondering, "What if?" for the next umpteen decades. Sure, rejection hurts but we've all experienced it and we get over it. Not knowing is so much worse.
Question: I want to get closer to my crush, even if it's just as a friend. How can I do that?
Answer: Friendships start when people notice that they have things in common -- ideas, experiences, hobbies, interests, or other friends AND they expect to interact with one another regularly. Thus, you'll need an opportunity to share similarities and develop interpersonal trust through regular contact. That can be via classes, friendship groups, clubs or organizations you both belong to, etc.
The best chance of doing so is if you have a mutual friend who can include you in the friend group that he hangs out in. You'll have a chance to talk with him and then see if you share common ideas, a sense of humor, interests, etc.
Be genuine, but befriend a friend of his and you'll find yourself included in the group eventually. If that is absolutely not possible, join a club he's in, take a class he's in or learn about a hobby he's interested in (as long as you're genuinely interested). Start to sit near him if you're already in a class he's in, attend his games if he's in sports (especially if you have other friends on the team who can introduce you?), etc. Show some interest so you'll have something specific to talk to him about. (People love talking about themselves.)
When I was a teenager, a guy who was crushing on me decided to become best friends with my next door neighbor to get closer to me. They played basketball for hours on my family's basketball hoop. Sometimes I'd go out and talk to him. We ended up dating long-term.
Question: How do I write a song for my crush? I can't see him every day because he's too busy with his studies. However, the good thing is sometimes we talk through social media. We haven't met yet in person, and the problem is that I can't share my feelings with him directly. Therefore, I want to write a song.
Answer: Take a look at the lyrics of your favorite songs, especially love songs, as they are really just poems set to music. Now remember that not all poems have to rhyme in the standard singsong AABB way that we are all too familiar with seeing them in. Some don't rhyme at all. Some have complex schemes. You decide what works for you.
Pour out your thoughts and feelings for your crush in prose (non-poetic) form directly onto paper/the computer screen or into a voice recording (whatever format works best for you), as if you were talking to him. Here are some questions to get you thinking:
1) Is there specific information you want him to know?
2) Is there information you need from him in return?
3) What's stopping you from your goal?
4) What do you appreciate about him?
5) How and when did you first notice him?
6) What makes him special?
7) Where do you see yourselves ideally in the future?
8) How do you feel not being able to have him now?
9) What if he rejected you?
10) Are you telling a story?
11) What's the tone or mood of this song -- e.g., flirty, sad, sexy, etc.?
Review what you expressed. That should suggest a title and a few key catchy phrases for your poem/song if you spent sufficient time and energy on the writing portion. Build the structure of your poem/song around what you want your message to him to be. This message should be consistent in both the title and the lines or phrases that are repeated. Make sure to vividly "paint a picture" for the reader/listener with word choice that crackles. Now that you have the lyrics, just set it to music.
Question: My crush broke his leg, and I want to tell him I care, how do I do that?
Answer: Make it fun by taking him a small gift bag that contains candy and candy puns, plus maybe a card with a written message from you. Here are a couple of ideas, but be creative:
Extra Gum - attach a personalized tag that says, "You're EXTRA Special to Me"
Nestle Crunch - attach a personalized tag that says, "I'm Sorry Your Leg Went CRUNCH (OUCH!)"
Mounds - attach a personalized tag that says, "You Deserve MOUNDS of TLC"
Milky Way - attach a personalized tag that says, "Could They Hear Your Screams on the Other End of the MILKY WAY?"
Reese's Fast Break - attach a personalized tag that says, "I Heard You Had a FAST BREAK (Oh, Snap!)"
Rolo - attach a personalized tag that says, "Did you ROLO - ver in pain?"
Oreos or Cookies of your Choice - attach a personalized tag that says, "You're one tough COOKIE!"
Sour Patch - attach a personalized tag that says, "You'll get through this SOUR PATCH"
Crush soda - attach a personalized tag that says, "I have a CRUSH on you!"
Hot Tamales - attach a personalized page that says, "You're one HOT TAMALE!"
Here are additional ideas for telling your crush you like them: https://pairedlife.com/dating/How-to-Tell-Your-Cru...
Question: A guy that I have a huge crush on has been talking to me a lot. He keeps staring at me and making fun of me in a playful way. Should I tell him how I feel?
Answer: Rather than pour out your feelings -- I don't know how much you want to tell him -- keep it simple by telling him that he's special, he's cute, or you have a crush on him. A fun way to tell him is to ask him if he can keep a secret. Then tell him you think you have a crush on him.
He's already talking to you a lot, staring, and gently teasing you. Those are signs he likes you. Go for it.
Question: My friend asked my crush if he and I are friends and nothing more. My crush replied with the phrase, "not really." What does that mean? Did he mean he does not like me romantically or we are not friends at all? I am SO confused.
Answer: You have good reason to be confused, and you want to know why? You allowed a friend to act as your "agent" or "middle man" in communicating with your crush. Good quality relationships and clear communication do not work that way. Opt for a "do-over" by going to your crush and confessing that you are confused. Then be ready to say about what. Alternatively, you can flirt with your crush and tell him that rumor has it he has a crush on you. Wait for him to react to your statement by either confirming or denying it. You can always smile big and respond that you are really happy that he likes you too!
My chief point does not allow someone else to communicate on your behalf. Speak on your own behalf so you can communicate precisely the message you want, ask follow-up questions if you don't understand, see the person's expressions, and get the full context of the conversation.
Question: How can I tell the guy I have a crush on how I am feeling? We are friends and I sit next to him in class.
Answer: Flirt with him first and see whether how he responds. Watch his nonverbals as well as paying attention to his verbal responses. This should give you an indication as to whether he sees you more of a buddy or a potential dating partner. If things go well, share your social media and other contact information and take the conversation online via text and phone in addition to in-person so you can deepen your connection more than just sitting beside one another. Is your online or text communication with him generally one-way or mutual? Pay attention to that. If it's going well, compliment him, tell him he is special, or what you like about him and see how he responds. This should help you communicate your interest. Pay attention to his cues. Remember: you shouldn't do all the relationship work!
Question: I like this girl who has a boyfriend. I can't stop thinking about her all the time. What do I do?
Answer: You can get to know her better as a friend, classmate, or acquaintance and let her know that her boyfriend is a lucky guy and/or if she's ever single, you'd be interested in going out. You can do it in a fun way so it doesn't come off as desperate (e.g., tell her you'd be interested in taking his place if she ever gets tired of him and SMILE widely when you say it).
It's better to announce your wishes up front than get stuck uncomfortably in the friendzone and just not tell her you are interested as a potential love interest. You'll at least be able to gauge her reaction from a comment like that (e.g., is it completely out of the question or a possibility?). If she continues to date her boyfriend, you should honor her decision but continue your acquaintance with her. Don't dwell on her dating relationship with her boyfriend. Date other girls but if she breaks up with that boyfriend, check in with her to see how she's doing.
Question: My crush knows I like him, so my friend asked him if he liked me and did he want to date me. He responded, "Maybe, maybe not." What does that mean?
Answer: Stop using friends to telegraph your crush and just ask him yourself. Go up to him PERSONALLY, not through text, letter, social media post, etc. and say, "I understand you MIGHT like me and want to date me. Is that true or not?"
When you don't like someone you don't waste your time saying you "might" like them, so I suspect he does like you. However, you need to interact face-to-face with him rather than using go-betweens. When you start saying what you like and what you want, you'll notice that you will start getting better results.
Question: I am on vacation in China, and I've met a girl that is so kind and sweet. Over the past few days, her friends have been saying that she likes me, but I don't know whether it is the truth. She has written me two poems about how she likes me and has sung me a song. Should I tell her my feelings too before I leave?
Answer: She has put her feelings out there in a clear way with both the poetry and song, realizing that the trip has a clear end. If you feel the same, time is short so what's stopping you? Express yourself. To hold your feelings in means rejection for her.
Question: My friend was my crush. However, now we are fighting and he never wants to talk to me. It's been six months, and his friends hate me. What should I do?
Answer: You don't say why you and your crush are fighting and your friend/crush is no longer talking to you. Giving someone the silent treatment is a loud signal of hurt and rejection. Evidently, there was a misunderstanding of some kind. Make an attempt to talk with your friend to apologize and make amends if you have done something wrong. Don't explain yourself or make excuses. Simply apologize sincerely and ask forgiveness. Don't worry about his friends. Your relationship is with him, not them. If he won't grant you forgiveness, then move on with the knowledge that you have sincerely tried. Six months is a long time to hold a grudge, and it's time to settle this. Stop trying to be "right" if you value this relationship.
Question: I want to talk to my crush, but the only time I’ve talked to him was at youth camp and when we dance with each other. I feel like it would be awkward to go over and talk to him when we aren’t dancing. How do I get the confidence to talk to him when we aren’t dancing?
Answer: At the dances, they probably serve some kind of punch, water, or light refreshments, don't they? Either catch him at the refreshments table and start a conversation or ask if he will get something to eat at the refreshments table with you. Make sure he knows that you enjoy his company and want to talk to him outside of your time on the dance floor too.
Question: My crush knows how I feel about him, yet he likes one of my best friends. What should I do?
Answer: You've shared how you feel, and unfortunately, you can't make someone like you in return. Sometimes all the "reasons" are there but the chemistry is not for a reason that cannot be described. You need to let it go and get some distance from him. Let your friend know the situation so if their relationship develops she can be sensitive about it and doesn't unknowingly rub it in your face. We've all been disappointed by unreturned affection, and it does hurt.
Question: I like a guy who is two years older than me. After we started talking, he began giving signals that he liked me, so I shared how I felt. He said he doesn't feel the same and feels awful for that. I told him there was no reason to. I still really like him. We talk a little in person and a lot through text, but I want to talk more in person. We agreed to talk as friends, but I don't know what to say to him. What do I do?
Answer: Since you've agreed to talk as friends, ask yourself whether you'd get this worked up about conversation topics with other friends. Friends often talk about mundane aspects of their lives -- what's going on in their family, school, and social lives. Start there. Learn the art of open-ended questions and follow-up questions. Build on what he says by offering related information about your own life. Genuinely listen to him. So few people actually listen these days. Don't forget though that he did say he doesn't share your romantic feelings, so respect his feelings.
Question: I want to tell my crush that I have feelings for her. We have already dated on and off about 7 times but I want one more chance with her to prove to her that I have matured and we can make a relationship work. Should I try or am I wasting my time?
Answer: That's a lot of on and off dating. Move on to someone else. You're going to relive old patterns of conflict and make it 8 times. Be friends with her but look for love elsewhere. Romance is just not meant to be for you two.
Question: There’s a guy who is in love with me, but I’ve told him that I don’t feel as intensely as he does. Instead, I’m in love with a friend from my childhood. However, I fear telling my friend about my feelings because he is way out of my league. Should I risk rejection and reveal my feelings or conceal my feelings and try to forget love?
Answer: Let the love of your life know how you feel. Really, how could you hold this in if you feel so strongly? Yes, you risk rejection, but it’s better to know than to always wonder “what if.” The possibility of a love connection is well worth possible rejection. Go for it.
Be aware that you don’t have to dump all your feelings at once, and humiliation doesn’t have to be a consequence. Just try to get closer to him and flirt. Have fun. See if he returns your advances. Let him know verbally that he is special to you. Pay attention to both his verbal and nonverbal responses. Does he encourage your flirting and romantic interest? His responses will let you know whether to continue to reveal more about your feelings.
Also, continue to treat the guy who has the crush on you (the one you are rejecting) with empathy as well as directness. He has put his heart out there and let you know how he felt. He took a risk for you but lost. Although you can’t make yourself love someone else, be discreet and don’t rub his face in any new relationship you might have.
Question: I want to tell my crush I like him, but I don’t have the guts to do so. I found myself alone with him at my house outside on the swing set, but I couldn’t tell him, I’m afraid of not telling him. Someone told him that we would make a good couple multiple times but he said he hated me. However, he keeps trying to impress me and talk to me or get me involved in group activities. He even asked me what I would do if I was in love. What should I do?
Answer: First, his behavior is not indicative of someone who hates you. To the contrary, it suggests to me he is young, awkward, and new to owning and expressing his romantic feelings.
You seem to want to take a lead role in expressing your emotions in this budding relationship. Don’t feel you must, but if that’s what you prefer to do, create more interactions between you and your crush where you can be alone and just talk freely. Be honest and open so he knows the real you. Also try to do things with him in a group context, even if it’s just studying or hang out with friends.
The overall aim is to increase your mutual comfort level and trust so you can more openly communicate about your feelings for one another. Keep what he tells you to yourself rather than sharing every detail with friends. That will really increase trust. I think he does like you, too, but developing a quality romantic relationship is a step-by-step process. You’ll both know when the time is right to share your feelings.
Question: I became close to a guy I work and go to high school with. We confessed that we like each other but both of us said we don’t want a relationship even though I actually did. I tried to move on, but after a few months of dating my boyfriend, I still have those same feelings for my crush. I want to share my feelings, but he is known for staying single and having “sides.” What is the best move to get closer to my crush?
Answer: If you weren’t honest in how you felt, there’s a chance that he wasn’t either. Or perhaps he’s missed you and his mind has changed on the relationship issue. It’s therefore important that you be candid with him about your feelings and what you want in a relationship. Be true to yourself so that you don’t have to wonder any longer.
Also, be clear what behavior you will tolerate, and spell it out. Are you truly okay with letting him have “side chicks” on you or being one yourself if he currently has a girlfriend? People will look to you for direction on how to treat them. Respect yourself and don’t sell yourself short.
If this were me, I’d tell him how I felt, and if he wasn’t ready to date only me, I’d tell him to give me a call if and when he ever comes around and wants to have a real relationship – hopefully, it won’t still be too late. Then I wouldn’t contact him or play games. Let him decide whether he’s going to be immature by dating everyone he can or if he’s ready to be in a one-on-one relationship. He might not be ready. At least that’s honest. He may come back to you in 5 years, and you may or may not have outgrown him by then.
Question: I have a crush but every time he’s near me I just freeze, and no words come out. I am always awkward around him and my hands start shaking. I wanna talk to him, but I’m too scared and nervous of saying the wrong things or something stupid. What should I do?
Answer: He's a person just like you are. Rather than talk to him face-to-face first, since you have anxiety about it, first work on your eye contact with him. Smile and concentrate on him, not yourself. If you get good results (he returns your eye contact and smiles) maybe you can feel more comfortable to start a conversation in person or via social media. Sometimes it just helps to tell a person that you're nervous and get that out of the way.
Question: What should I do in this situation? I have 13 days left to talk to my crush before not seeing him for a long time. I really want to tell him how much I love him, but I am very awkward and afraid of damaging our friendship. I've heard from people that he has a crush on me. I am hoping its true, but I am still very skeptical. He means the world to me, but he has no clue. Should I tell him how I feel?
Answer: You absolutely need to tell him. Do not delay. Since you have limited time and you will be apart for awhile, why not buy a parting gift that he can remember you by? It doesn't have to be big or expensive, just memorable, and preferably something he'll keep with him and remind him of you (i.e., not something generic). When you've made your selection, contact him, and either ask him to lunch or tell him you need to see him before he goes away. Present your gift there.
Practice what you're going to say. Make sure he has your contact information and a photo. Better yet, take a parting selfie if it feels right. Set aside your fear and just GO FOR IT. People regret opportunities they don't take. If you'd like, you can pour your heart out in a card as well in case you don't nail it verbally. I'm rooting for you.
You've got this.
Question: My best friend and I have a crush on the same guy. We both know that the other likes him. I feel jealous every time he talks to her. They talk a lot online. I don’t know whether I should try to get closer with the guy or stop talking to him and not hurt my friend. What should I do?
Answer: This guy has already begun to come between you two as you knowingly compete for his attention. It sounds like he likes your friend more at this point. Before it gets more out of hand, you both need to have a difficult and admittedly awkward conversation in which you get it all out on the table that both of you have a crush on the same guy. Then come to a mutual agreement regarding how important the friendship is and an action plan regarding him. This might be:
1) One of you steps back and allows the other to pursue a potential relationship with the crush.
2) Both of you decide the friendship is more important than this one guy and so neither dates with the guy.
3) You agree to both go for it and let him decide who he likes, which would probably mean driving a huge wedge in your friendship.
If your friend is less concerned about your feelings than getting the guy, the damage to your friendship may already have been done. It's best to have this discussion as soon as possible.
Question: How do you answer a love note when you don't know who it's from?
Answer: That's the challenge of sending and receiving unsigned love notes. The receiver has to guess who the sender is; however, their guess may be very wrong! There's also no way to respond if you don't know who sent it.
The best course of action is to either wait until the next letter or jumpstart the process by trying to determine who sent the note so that the person will reveal himself or herself more quickly. Talk to friends, sharing that you received a note and you are trying to discover who sent it. See if they know who might have a crush on you. Out of privacy and respect for the sender, don't let others read it.
Sooner or later, the sender will step forward. You're going to have to be patient on this one. Have fun with it!
Question: I have a crush on one of my classmates, but he has a girlfriend. Every time I try to move away from him, he attempts to get closer to me. When he sees me he turns red. What does this mean?
Answer: Turning red in the face, blushing, or flushing is a general sign of embarrassment, stress, or feeling overly warm. He probably feels anxious and fearful of rejection or being negatively evaluated by you. As a result, he wears the emotion on his face.
Question: Do I tell my crush I like him through text?
Answer: That's certainly the easy way out, especially if you think you stand a good chance of being rejected. When you tell someone in person, you have the benefit of being able to witness your crush's nonverbal behavior. Do they look anxious and surprised? Delighted? Confused? You won't see it over text.
Question: I met up with a guy who had a high school crush on me forty years ago. I texted him that I think I am falling for him. I hint around. He won't tell me anything. Instead, he says there's too much drama. What do I do?
Answer: First, have you confirmed that this guy is single? Second, he may have been texting with you for old time's sake rather than because he feels some sexual attraction to you now. People change a lot in forty years, and sometimes it's tough to separate the memory of what once was from the reality of now.
Make sure you're dealing with him as two adults now. Also, ensure you're honest with both him and yourself about your feelings and who you are as well as what you want in life. Take it slow and get to know him NOW. I suspect he has a much more complicated life than he is revealing and may want different things than you do. That's okay.
Don't rely on texting as the basis for a relationship, as it can never replace good old-fashioned conversation and face to face romance. See if he'll meet you casually over lunch or drinks and take it slow, getting to know him before you rush into confessions of how you feel.
Question: I have had a crush on someone for years, so I confessed to him in writing. He said he likes someone else, and since then I’m too scared and embarrassed to talk to him. He tries to approach then he turns around and looks at me and turns red. He sits beside me sometimes and starts touching my hand. What does this mean?
Answer: Don't feel ashamed about expressing your feelings to a schoolmate you've known for years. After suffering in silence for years, you took a chance, and although you didn't get the response you immediately wanted, you should be proud of being genuine and just putting your emotions out there. (You didn't indicate how much time has passed since your confession.)
Regardless, he claimed that he likes someone else. He seems to be giving you mixed messages, however, with the hand touching. Perhaps he changed his mind about liking that other person, had a girlfriend at the time you confessed your feelings for him, wasn't sure about how he felt about you and now is sure, or he just froze and didn't know how to respond. It's obvious that he values maintaining some kind of relationship with you because he does try to approach you and sits near you.
Can you get up the nerve to tell him you're confused by his behavior and ask him why he blushes and turns around when he looks at you (describe his exact behavior nonjudgmentally)? Can you get up the nerve to just ask him why he starts touching your hand when he sits near you -- especially if he likes someone else? Simply asking him will be the best way to get to the bottom of this.
Question: My crush is also my best friend. How can I tell them in a cute way without ruining our friendship? I want to move this to the next level.
Answer: Assuming there's already been a display of mutual interest through flirting, here are some creative ideas if you don't want to jump right to a candid conversation:
1. Make a collage about your relationship. Some hearts will clue your friend in that this is more than just friendship for you.
2. Make a "story of us" video of your relationship using the best moments. Divide the video into "chapters" like a book, and at the end,
signify "Next chapter?" That's a great segue for having a conversation about where you want this relationship to go.
3. Write a poem if that's your talent. It can be funny or serious.
4. Express your feelings in a letter.
5. Play "Would You Rather" (or 20 Questions) either via texting or in person. Along with silly questions slip in a question or so about would you rather hold hands/kiss/date you or (name an alternative person). This will naturally lead you down a conversation path.
6. Make a playlist of flirty songs. Send them to your crush either as a playlist or text your crush a song every couple of days and tell them why it reminded you of them.
7. If you share an inside joke or interest, buy matching t-shirts or other items.
8. Play a game of "Tell Me Something Awkward." It can be an embarrassing story, something you can never do correctly (like tell right from left), a strange habit, or a crush on a best friend! Since both people take turns admitting awkward things, you never know ... your crush may admit they like you first!
Question: How do you confess to your crush in a way that is not going to embarrass you, your crush, or ruin your friendship?
Answer: Revealing your feelings for someone in a way that won't overwhelm them and thus embarrass either one of you or ruin your friendship is usually a matter of timing and degree. (Bad timing, for example, might be if they're in love with someone else.)
Rather than pour out a total confession of your undying love, use flirting to assess whether the interest is mutual. Take flirting slow and gauge their reactions. My article "How to Get Noticed: The Sexy Science of Flirting" http://hub.me/afUpB describes the importance of 1) what you wear, 2) smiling, 3) eye contact, 4) strategic use of interpersonal space, and 5) touch. These are the five critical factors in getting noticed as a potential dating partner.
When you flirt, pay attention to whether your love interest returns your gestures with flirting of their own or if they seem disinterested, confused, and pull away. The more they flirt back, the more you can amp up your charm.
If all signs are go, you can also try various compliments (including compliments about their attractiveness) and attempt to get more alone time with them. If things still look positive for you, you may then start to unfold revelations about how you feel. You can start by saying that you "enjoy" or "appreciate" them (adding specifically what you like ... e.g., they're smart, funny, attractive, we understand one another) and you would like to spend more time with them. They could ask what that means, so be ready to explain a bit. You might ask how they feel about you. This should tell you whether your relationship is staying in the friend zone or venturing further.
Have a goal in mind (e.g., a movie or play together, a joint trip to the park) and suggest that any time they'd like to go/take you, then you'd be interested. If you've read your cues right, you haven't dumped on them all at once, and you'll be able to experiment with dating.
Question: How do you apologize to your crush when you confessed to him, and you feel like you embarrassed him?
Answer: Chances are you came on too strong, confessing way too much too soon, or he just doesn't feel the same. For an apology, less is more. For example, "Bill, I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed or create an awkward situation. I realize I said too much, and I'm sorry I put you on the spot. Will you forgive me?" Although the conversation is best to have in person, if he's avoiding you, send it via mail, email, or text. Once you've had the conversation, stop bringing it up and stop your the behavior that embarrassed him. You're friendzoned.
Question: What should I do if I have a crush on someone who has a girlfriend, but still flirts with me anyway? He knows that I like him.
Answer: Flirting when one or both parties are taken can be fun and harmless when there's no follow through, and both parties are being honest about where their situation is heading. However, I'm concerned that he knows you like him, he's emotionally unavailable, and he may be toying with you. Only you know how far the flirting has gone.
You are attracted to someone whom you know is taken, but keep in mind that he is the one with the relationship commitment with the girlfriend. Has his flirting with you crossed a line between fun and emotionally betraying his girlfriend? If so, is this guy someone you would want to date? How would you feel if you were his in his girlfriend's shoes?
At some point, you're going to get tired of this flirting that is just empty teasing and toying. You may even want to tell him you're tired of just flirting with him and that if he were ever single, you'd date him, but right now he's acting like a player.
Question: I have a crush on this guy at school. He's had a girlfriend before, but he was very young when they were dating. I've sent letters to him in his locker, and I've memorized his schedule so I can see him. The problem is, we don't know each other. He has gotten the hint, but he seems unsure. How do I start a friendship when he knows I like him?
Answer: You've sent letters, but he seems unsure. I'm assuming that means he doesn't respond to you. Maybe he's shy, doesn't share your feelings, or likes someone else.
Either talk to him or send one more note. Let him know that you're interested and would like to get to know him, but this will be your last letter unless you hear back. Provide contact information such as your social media addresses, phone number, locker number, and/or email. Tell him if he's interested, then here are the ways he can get in touch. (For some people, you need to spell it out!) You might even include a little bit of information about yourself, too. For example, what might you have in common? Then you'll just have to wait. If he doesn't contact you, move on. Anything more is stalky.
Question: So I have a crush on a guy in one of my classes, but I don't know what to do because I keep getting mixed messages from him. I'm worried that if I say anything it will make class awkward. What should I do?
Answer: Mixed messages are possible when people are socially awkward, new to something, or embarrassed about the context. A shy, studious person, for example, may find it awkward to flirt back with a classmate in front of a classroom full of friends and a teacher. However, give the same person a quiet, one-on-one conversation, and he may be very flirtatious. If you suspect this is the case, try to make your interactions more personal. Compliment him, start conversations with him, sit next to him if you can, and/or touch him lightly on the arm or shoulder while talking with him. Then gauge how he responds. Does he seem to want more? If he's chatty, doesn't move away, and even compliments you back, those are signs, he's into you as well. Thus, my recommendation is to ramp up the flirting to see whether he's into you.
Question: I’m a tomboy, and I have a crush on this guy, and he doesn’t like me back. He probably knows how I feel, and he likes another girl. Do you think it’s that boy only like those girly girls with all the makeup and pink clothes? My friends say he just can't see how cool I am. Are they right? What is it?
Answer: Just because you're a tomboy does NOT mean you're doomed to loneliness. Just because you're a tomboy does NOT mean no guy will find you attractive. So you had a crush on a guy who preferred girly girls. If you had known that about him up front, you might not have wasted your time thinking so much about him. Don't draw large conclusions about yourself based on just one (or a few) examples -- especially negative conclusions.
There are plenty of dateable guys out there, and you'll find those who are interested. Concentrate on making yourself the happiest, healthiest person you can be, and stop beating yourself up. My daughter is in her late teens and has always been a tomboy -- avid tree climber, soccer player, cross country runner, kayaker, hiker, and she attended a four-year engineering program in high school that immersed her in robotics and building things with power tools. She's never worn much makeup and prefers casual clothes. In spite of all this or (BECAUSE of it!) she's never had a problem having either male friends or dates. Think about how much more you have to talk about with guys when you focus on things you love that they happen to be interested in as well.
Just don't let this kill your confidence. Self-confidence attracts, so work on becoming the happiest, most interesting person possible and accepting yourself the way you are. Do that, and you'll shine from the inside, no makeup required.
Question: How do I let my crush know that I like them without telling them?
Answer: Since you prefer not to confess your attraction, use flirting as a fun first step to assess whether the interest between you and your crush is mutual. Take flirting slow and watch how your crush responds. Flirting will telegraph your initial interest while avoiding some of the awkwardness of rejection if it’s not mutual. (Know, however, that if the flirting progresses and you seek to take it to the next level, eventually you will need to acknowledge having some feelings for your crush.)
Here are a couple of tips. Amp up your physical appearance and what you wear. This will improve your confidence around your crush and get their attention. The color red attracts special notice when worn by either men or women. Smile and make steady eye contact. Offer your crush sincere compliments. As you talk with your crush, try to subtly move a little closer, more into their personal space -- if you sense that they are comfortable. Use appropriate levels of touch if you sense that it is welcome. For example, when sitting next to them, graze their arm or leg with yours in a non-obvious manner. Pretend to pick a hair or lint off their shoulder or touch their hand lightly.
Reading your crush’s signals are very important. When you flirt, pay attention to whether your crush seems disinterested, confused, or pulls away or if instead, they return your flirtations with flirty gestures of their own. The more they flirt back, the more you can turn up your charm.
If you want to know more, my article "How to Get Noticed: The Sexy Science of Flirting" https://pairedlife.com/dating/Get-Noticed-The-Scie... describes the importance of five critical factors in getting noticed as a potential dating partner: 1) what you wear, 2) smiling, 3) eye contact, 4) strategic use of interpersonal space, and 5) touch.
Question: I met a guy in my new school, and he's the guy I've always dreamed of. However, I'm afraid to tell him that I like him. He's currently my best friend and says his "partner" in everything. I think he won't like me because I'm also male. Can you give me some ways how I can open up to him without ruining our sweet friendship?
Answer: Your new best friend may be using the term "partner" because he already has one, so I recommend slowing it down just a bit and finding out more about him before sharing your feelings of sexual attraction. Why not ask if he wants to hang out on a weekend or one evening? That'll give you a more relaxed environment to find out more about him, including his love life -- who he's dating (if anyone), how serious the relationship is, how long he's been out, etc.
Naturally, you, in turn, can share similar information -- your dating history, what type of guy you find attractive, how long you've been out, etc. Because of his frequent reference to the word "partner" I would make it more of a bonding experience in which you compare experiences and get to know one another. Even if he's madly in love with this other guy, maybe it's not all bad. With you being new to the school, perhaps they can introduce you to other gay young men who are potential love interests.
Question: My crush had a crush on my friend, but once she acknowledged that she liked him back, he didn't like her anymore. Sometimes, he flirts with me, but he also flirts with every girl in my class. What should I do -- give up or continue to crush on him?
Answer: This one is easy. The only one this guy truly has a crush on is himself. Leave him alone. He's a player, pure trouble and not worth the time or emotion you invest.
Question: How can I tell if a guy is into me? He keeps reminding me of the day when we went to the beach with a group of friends. We both still laugh about it.
Answer: You ask a good question. I recall when my daughter was beginning high school, running on the cross country team. A cute guy would slow down while running so he could talk to her, and she didn't know why he was doing that so she would run faster to get away from him. I had to explain to her that he was trying to flirt. Now we laugh about it, but she was puzzled at the time.
Your guy is probably interested but may not know where to take it next. Here are some signs that a guy is interested in you:
1) he looks at you a lot, making direct eye contact
2) he smiles "to the eyes" when he sees you (a real smile instead of a fake grin)
3) he generally faces you and often leans in to listen to you or sits close, giving you his full attention (instead of his phone)
4) he finds excuses to touch you (e.g., sitting thigh to thigh, touching your hand) and he doesn't flinch when you touch him
5) he has inside jokes with you, tries to impress you, constantly seeks your attention, suddenly seems to be around a lot more than previously
6) other people seem to get that he likes you (like his friends and yours)
7) he unwittingly "mirrors" your behaviors -- if you lean up against the wall, so does he
8) he compliments you a lot, noticing things that others don't or that he previously did not
9) he initiates conversation and is reluctant to end it
10) he doesn't seem to notice other girls
11) when you're talking, he often shows he's curious by raising his eyebrows and tilting his head
I'd suggest additional group outings with friends. Watch the signs above and maybe have a female friend look for the signs, too. That should tell you what you need to know!
Question: I have a crush on my classmate. I'm unable to forget him. I love him but cannot express my feelings to him verbally. I don't know how to communicate what he means to me. How can I reach out to my crush?
Answer: There are many ways to express your love to someone: a playlist of special songs, a poem, photograph or slideshow, baked items, or a piece of handmade art. Ways to express love are as unique as the people communicating the emotion.
Before you pour your heart out, however, first invest some time in getting closer to your crush and getting to know him as an individual. Work on making your classmate your friend so that you can see whether there is indeed a natural chemistry between you. Try to get assigned to the same workgroups or class projects as he is, sit near him, and talk with him when you can. Building a friendship will make it easier to express your romantic attraction later.
Question: I have a crush on a guy in my school. In my absence, my best friend confirmed a rumor about my crush on him, and she learned from my crush’s best friend that he likes me back. I want to confess my feelings to my crush and ask him out, but I don’t know how. What’s a way to ask him out? Is there a way to ask him out using music?
Answer: Since you already know he likes you back, there isn't a lot of risk involved, so make it fun. Music can help you do that. I suggest making him a playlist of songs that remind you about him. Borrow heavily from Spinditty's "Positive Vibe Playlist: Happy and Uplifting Songs to Put You in a Good Mood," because this list of songs probably captures the top-of-the-world way he makes you feel (and the way he feels about you too, according to his friend): https://hubpages.com/playlists/Feel-Great-Playlist... You might include a special note about why each track is relevant. Make the last song your "ask out" song. I like Kelsea Ballerini's song, "Dibs" (2017) for this purpose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3lCzEOy5xs or a classic tune, "Can't Fight This Feeling" (1984) by REO Speedwagon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpOULjyy-n8.
Question: My crush knows I like someone else and I know who he likes. One day I had feelings for him and I asked my friend to ask him what he thinks about me. Now he stares and smiles at me. What should I do?
Answer: Your crush is probably staring and smiling at you (aka flirting) because he likes you and doesn't know how to break the silent awkwardness between you. Someone has to be the one to speak first rather than go through an in-between. If you like him that much, then why don't you 1) stare at him back and smile, 2) attempt to talk to him, 3) give him your contact information or ask for his.
Question: A classmate has told me that he has a crush on me, but I don't know how I feel about him in return. I may like one of my old friends. I'm also a bit hesitant about dating since my last relationship didn't go well. What should I do?
Answer: Regarding your classmate, it doesn't seem that you return his crush so tell him that you appreciate the special attention he has shown you, but you don't see him that way in return. You see him instead as a friend (or fill in the blank). "I appreciate the special attention, but I see you as a friend." Once you practice this and get good at saying it, it'll be easier to deliver that message in the future to others without guilt or embarrassment. Make sure to deliver the bad news in private so let him down easy, and afterward, don't avoid him.
Regarding the other portion of your comment, are you pressuring yourself to have someone in your life because you think you "should"? Especially given your last dating relationship, maybe you should wait and work through some things first. This is especially the case if a past dating partner was bullying or abusive towards you or if they cheated on you. (I don't know what "my last relationshp didn't go well" means exactly.") It's completely okay not to have someone and just be single while you figure out who YOU are. In short, don't be rushed to "do" anything.
Question: I have this tiny crush on a guy at my school, and he stares at me a lot. Whenever I walk by, his friends start to point at me to him, and he turns to look at me and smiles. The problem, however, is that he hugs girls while looking at me, smirking. It hurts me a lot, so I decided to walk up and hug with my male classmate. I then see that he is looking at me angrily and leaves. I don’t know what to do. Do I make a move or wait a bit longer?
Answer: My first inclination is that a guy who is that immature probably isn't worth your trouble. It's one thing to not yet have the courage to approach you. It's fine to be shy and permit one's friends to take over a bit. They apparently know about his feelings for you. However, the hugging other girls while looking at you? And getting angry and leaving when he sees that you are with another guy? That's childish and counterproductive if he has a crush on you!
If you still want to go forward with this crush, hey, I get it. Therefore, as a second option, I provide thoughts below.
You're going to have to be the thinking, reasonable one. Don't wait to make your feelings known because that'll give him more opportunity to do stupid things trying to one-up your stunt (walking by with your male classmate). A couple of options to choose from:
1) Single out one of his friends and separate them from the rest of the group to talk with them briefly, especially if your crush is hanging on a girl. Ask bluntly whether your crush is making fun of you, whether he has a crush on you, or what's the deal? You can even "confide" in the friend that you have a tiny crush on the guy but express annoyance that he's acting like a jerk or a player. The message will get back to your crush immediately.
2) When you pass by, even if your crush is hugging a girl, go up directly to him. Acknowledge the girl he's hanging on by saying hello to her as well as him. Ask whether you can have a minute of his time. If he and/or the girl don't get the hint that this is private, then say, "it's personal and I wanted to talk with you alone, when you get a chance" or "let me know when you have a moment and we can talk alone -- here is my number if you need it."
3) Get his contact information through friends and directly connect with him through social media.
4) Pass him a note along the lines of "Don't be mad. Now you know how I feel. No more games." Put your number on the bottom.
5) If he's on a sports team or in a club, especially without those friends, arrange to attend so you can approach him afterward and talk to him alone. Guys act more authentic when they are alone, away from the influence of larger groups of friends.
Question: What if the person I have a crush on shows all of the signs that he has a crush on me, but he always denies liking someone when others ask him?
Answer: Since he seems to be playing shy, why don't you go a little bolder with the following approach? When it's just you and him, tell him that you heard he didn't have a girlfriend and didn't like ANYBODY. Tell him that's hard to believe because there are a lot of girls in this world and he's a great guy, and if -- just IF he were going to crush on someone what qualities would she have? (e.g., smart, pretty, sincere, etc.) After he's done, say that you have those qualities (name them) and you thought we had good chemistry. I was hoping you liked me. I just had to ask. Thanks for clearing it up! That should make him come clean in a big way if he's going to ever confess.
Question: What do you do if your crush has a girlfriend and he knows you like him, but he won’t date you?
Answer: You’ve made your feelings clear to someone who currently has a girlfriend, and he has chosen to honor his commitment to his girlfriend. You should respect that and turn your attention elsewhere.
Work on being a happy, healthy and positive person. You may be surprised to find how good things will come your way when you work on you. You cannot force him to love you. However, you might be surprised that there’s someone else out there who probably thinks you’re pretty terrific. You may not have noticed him because you were way too wrapped up in your crush. Give someone other than your crush a chance to discover and appreciate you.
Question: What do you do if you like someone and everyone says he likes you back, however you can’t possibly imagine that happening because he’s perfect?
Answer: Rather than question whether you deserve this person, listen to "everyone" and make a move to get a direct conversation going with him. Cut out the "middle men" in your flirtation and you'll know for sure how he feels.
Question: What should I do if my crush thinks that I like his younger brother?
Answer: Your crush probably got this wrong information through a prior miscommunication with you, so it's important that he understands the truth. You should correct his misinformation ASAP if it's important to you. Going through another person would make your crush question what is true, so set the record straight personally and see how he responds.
Here are two options. Next time he mentions your attraction to his brother, ask him why he believes you like his brother because it's him (the crush) you like. Don't skip a beat when you say it -- do it in all one sentence. That approach is to-the-point, surprising, and prompts a response from him.
Another option is to say that you'd like to clear up a simple misunderstanding and ask whether he has a minute to hear you out. When he says "sure," ask whether he remembers the original conversation you had where he came to the conclusion that you liked his brother (describe it). Then lay out the truth that you never liked his brother; you like him instead.
Either way, be ready for questions. The conversation is best had in person, but if you must, you can FaceTime or even text. Texting is certainly the safe way, but it loses its appeal in being able to gauge his reactions.
Question: How do you deal with your crush not liking you back?
Answer: This has happened to ALL of us at some point, so please don't feel too badly. I'm sure it hurts nevertheless. Try not to take the rejection too personally, and don't let what others say or think define what you think of yourself.
Are you lucky enough to know WHY your crush doesn't like you? If so, and it's something 1) reasonable, 2) appropriate, and 3) within your control, then you can always try self-improvement provided that you agree with the feedback. You be the decision maker about any such feedback. Examples of feedback wherein change would be useful: you're known for cheating on dating partners; you engage in immature or unsafe behaviors such as drinking and driving, fighting, or doing drugs; or you don't hold up your end of the conversation. Self-improvement could only help you in these situations if they are true.
If your crush doesn't like you because you're not their "type" -- you're not their preferred race, religion, body build/height, nationality, they are a different sexual orientation, because you have a disability, you remind them of someone, etc. -- leave it and STOP feeling bad about yourself. You cannot become what they are seeking and probably would not want to if you had the power to do so. We all have notions of what our "type" is, but some people go overboard. Let this be their issue, not yours.
On the other hand, maybe you have NO clue why the person doesn't return your liking. That's often the case. If that's your situation, you're going to have to respect their decision and be at peace with it. Sometimes a person just feels no chemistry.
Here are some ideas for trying to cope:
1) Get some distance from your crush, if possible, so you don't have a constant reminder of the rejection.
2) Talk to friends or others who understand what it's like being turned down. Particularly try to seek out people who will help you take your mind off the situation and divert your attention to something fun and more positive. Don't go on and on. Get your feelings out and be done with it.
3) If you have any reminders of your crush like notes or memorabilia, toss them or put them away. Tell your friends NOT to update you about your former crush either. Outta sight, outta mind, outta conversation.
4) If it hurts too much to engage with your crush on social media (assuming you followed/were friends on social media accounts), stay off the accounts for a while. Depending on the situation, you might also tell your crush not to contact you for awhile or block/delete/unfriend/unfollow/mute them or just ignore them.
5) Focus on doing something enjoyable and good for you that gets you out among other people, especially new people. Join a group, sign up for a class, or volunteer in your community so you can be among others. Build your skills and re-build your self-esteem. FLIRT.
6) Because the best revenge is being happy, amp up your game by getting a new hairstyle or updating your style. This will attract attention. Work on being the most positive person you know. This will draw people to you. Soon, you'll see that you have a new love interest.
I hope these ideas help and you don't take this rejection to heart.
Question: What do you do if your friend is crushing on your crush?
Answer: The worst thing to do is refuse to talk about it, pretend it's not a problem, and allowing jealous competition over a crush to fester underground. Instead, talk openly with your friend about your mutual interest in the same crush and come to an agreement. It could be that one of you agrees to stand down, or you both agree to simultaneously go for it (especially if neither stands much of a chance). You could both drop the crush in the interest of the friendship, or let the crush decide who they like better (if either). Be open about your feelings. There will be other types of conflict, and this crush is likely one among many. How you handle this situation is essential in molding your friendship.
Question: There's this guy that I've talked to some but not a lot, and I am really into him. I would like to tell him, but I think it doesn't feel right. How can you be in love with someone you don't know that well? Unfortunately, I know that he doesn't share the same feelings and doesn't know what to do.
Answer: You don't know enough about him to truly love him, however, you're crushing pretty hard on someone you realize doesn't share your feelings. (Hey, we've all been there, so don't feel bad.)
Rather than confess to him your deep feelings, listen to that inner voice that is saying "hold on here!"
Work on controlling what you can by making YOU the happiest, best version of yourself. This may or may not prompt him to notice (and that is okay if he doesn't!), but there are two benefits: 1) you become a happier, more confident, better person for your good, and 2) you'll begin to see that other guys take notice of your self-confidence.
If you want to also work on trying to become just friends with him, then that's fine. However, I wouldn't make it my focus. You already know he doesn't return your feelings.
© 2017 FlourishAnyway
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 15, 2020:
Brown Eyed Girl - Thanks for your comment. This song is on the Falling in Love Playlist: https://hubpages.com/playlists/I-Love-You-Playlist... Being a brown-eyed girl, might also be interested in the playlist of songs with brown in the title. Have a great week!
Brown Eyed girl on September 09, 2020:
I think you should add "Say you won't let go" by james author to the list
Avery on September 08, 2020:
Okay Thank you!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 08, 2020:
Guy who needs help - There is something about your story that is off. Why exactly did you shut her out and how?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 08, 2020:
Avery - The positive about this situation is that you have mutual friends so ask for a friend to pass your number along to him and see what happens.
Guy who needs help desperately.. on September 07, 2020:
Umm Hi I met this girl a couple years ago ( we can call her jane) and I really liked her. I wanted to do everything with her. I wanted to be by her side, and just the thought of her with another guy made me so mad. Word got around that I liked her until it was common knowledge. I spent so much time with her we were constantly at each others house. Her parents are very strict boy wise, but they approve of me. I eventually heard rumors that she liked me back which of course thrilled me. You see, we've always been close, I liked her from the first moment I saw her standing there talking to her friend, in a yellow t-shirt and jeans. My best friend has even told her a couple times. I asked her out twice but her parents will not let her date until she is 18 (I've known her since we were 8 and we are now 17) I asked her out twice when we were 15, but she turned me down saying wait till I'm 18. That confirmed it for me, she liked me. The next year we were inseparable.. We did absolutely everything together. Then one day she showed up at my house crying saying that they were moving. And I was crushed. I wanted to tell her that no matter what we were in this together, that I loved her. But instead, I ended up closing the door and shutting her out of my life. She tried texting me but I didn't respond. I missed her. Oh you wouldn't believe how much I missed her. I wanted to go apologize that I was scared, but knowing her, she's not one that's easy to earn trust. And I'm pretty sure that I destroyed that trust. After almost a year, out of the blue a moving truck was parked at the house next door to mine. And you would not believe who got out of the car. Her. She was even more beautiful. When she saw me, she teared up and looked away with such pain in her eyes that I didn't know if I should burst into tears or go running into her arms embracing her. But I didn't. We acted as if each other didn't exist. We talked here and there, but like strangers. Not like best friends. I tried to forget about her completely until I saw Her and another tall handsome guy walking the neighborhood. I don't know anything about him except he is with my jane. I'm jealous of this guy walking next to her. Its all my fault. I know it is. I messed up so bad I don't know if I can fix it. I realized that i love her. I always have. I always will. I want to explain to her that I couldn't handle the pain of losing her. And once she was back I didn't know how to explain it to her. And I didn't want to mess anything up with the other guy. What should I do? Please respond as soon as possible.
Avery on September 07, 2020:
Hi. I was at my best friend's house for a movie marathon. Most people I knew but a couple I didn't. I met this guy there (Let's call him Isaac) I'd known of isaac for a while, and he'd known of me long before I knew of him. Well.. for a while our friends have tried to get us to meet. They've shown us pictures of each other and I've heard a lot about him. During the movie They tried to get me to go sit next to isaac and when that didn't work, they tried to get him to sit next to me. We would just glance weirdly at each other. And smile or laugh. And after the movie I found that his friends and my friends were trying to get him to ask me out......... I mean i've heard a lot about him. But I don't really know him. I don't know if you likes me or not. But he did tell his friend that I was funny and pretty.. He is honestly super smart, funny, kind, and super cute. I was going to ask for his number, but one of his friends needed a ride so I didn't get the chance. Any advice?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 07, 2020:
LarkynT - Your situation is a common one, so to address it I wrote an article that provides some advice: on the topic. The following article should definitely help you: https://hubpages.com/dating/How-to-Tell-Your-Crush... Good luck!
LarkynT on September 07, 2020:
I have a crush on a boy, we just recently got very close and I still want it to move slowly. We are only friends but I want it to be more just not too fast. I don't know how to tell him that I have feelings for him and I don't know if he feels the same way.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 30, 2020:
Maya - Good luck navigating this difficult situation.
Maya on August 30, 2020:
Okay, thank you! I was at the other guys house last night, and I honestly don't have the same connection with him as I do with Alex. Maybe because I haven't known him as long.. Plus my best friend likes Alex.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 30, 2020:
Maya - Use the potential scholarship opportunity as a chance to talk to him. Ask about the school, about activities, classes, peer relationships and teachers, then turn the conversation towards him personally. Make it a casual inquiry. You can tell him you miss being good friends with him. Ask if there's something you did to upset him. Be prepared to elaborate on what you mean by that statement. Don't give him the impression that you have been pining for him all these years and make sure he knows you date other people but have thought of him. There's nothing wrong with that.
Maya on August 29, 2020:
I've known this guy for 6 years. Lets just call him Alex. Alex was my best friend for a while. Then he admitted that he liked me (and I'll admit that I kind of liked him too) but I didn't want to destroy our friendship if things didn't work out. He means so much to me. An advantage to our friendship is that he lives next door. So about a year ago we started going to different schools ( both in the same area) and one day he shut me out. I don't really know why. We have always been so close. There wasn't a big fight or anything like that. I see him often and I'll always smile and wave even though it hurts. Sometimes he can manage to smile, and sometimes he looks away with pain in his eyes. I am applying for a scholarship to his school (by coincidence) I think its a chance to reconnect with him. I really need to know how I hurt him. What I did to make him look at me with such pain in his eyes. I can't tell you how many times I've thought back to the relationship I used to have with him. When I turned him down a couple years ago he said he'd wait for me. Do you think there is a chance he is still waiting for me. For me to come and tell him how I feel. You see there is another guy that recently walked into my life. I need to sort out my feelings. What should I do
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 01, 2020:
Brayden - Since you've known her for 6 years she's not exactly a stranger, so that's good. I've written an article, "How to Tell Your Crush That You Like Them," that addresses exactly this question: https://hubpages.com/dating/How-to-Tell-Your-Crush...
Brayden on July 31, 2020:
Hey I have know this girl for 6 years and we are friends but for the past 3 years I've been hiding my attraction from her. I'm 17 and I'm a senior now. I feel like the song "you and me" from lifehouse. I don't have much time and I'm not sure she is even into me. It's been aching my heart for years now. My only problem is I don't know how to approach her. Can you help me please?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 31, 2020:
Just laugh - I’m not sure if the dance will happen given the pandemic but with the crush, don’t wait. You have signs that it’s mutual so give him your number and let him feel like he is making the first move. Don’t wait him out and play games. Time is not on your side given that you may move. Don't send messages through your friend either. Deal directly with him. Good luck.
Just Laugh in the hardest times on July 30, 2020:
Hi. Um i've never done any of these before but So My best friend is a couple years older than me, but her younger brother is my age. I've been "friends" with him for quite some time now. He is very shy though. His sister keeps hinting that he likes me. I catch him looking at me quite often actually, now that I think about it. I think I could possibly be catching feelings... I don't know what to do though. I've talked to him through instagram. But I am way too chicken to ask him for his number. Its my junior year in high school and there is a dance this year.. (Well when the school year starts) Should I maybe ask him to dance. Well thats if he doesnt end up asking me... or should I just ask him for his number. You see there is a big possibility that I might be moving this year. And I don't want it to be to late. Could you give me any advice?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 22, 2020:
Megan - You do have a crush, although you're probably mixing your memory and what you wish he would be with what he actually is. That's not unusual but also not silly. Just take it slow and treat it like any other online relationship since he doesn't remember you like you recall him. It was obviously a long time ago, you do actually have the elementary school and common experiences in your background, and at some point he may suddenly remember you. Good luck and be safe.
Megan on July 21, 2020:
Hi! So when I was in elementary, I had this HUGE crush on this kid that we will can Aiden. Aiden and I were close friends, he knew I liked him but nothing ever happened. He moved away in 3rd grade. Recently, I found his Instagram and sent a follow request. He approved it and followed me. I commented on his post asking if he had gone to the elementary school. He said yes. Later that day, he sent me a DM and we continued talking. He lives 3-4 hours away. He’s super sweet, nice, respectful, and so damn hot. He, however, doesn’t remember me. My friends are convinced I still have feelings. I mean sure, he’s really cute, but if he asked me out I wouldn’t say yes, only bc I don’t know him that well anymore. What should I do? I don’t want to appear weird,I believe he’s single. And do I have an actual crush or is this kinda silly and it’s just old stuff?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 18, 2020:
Annabeth - Good luck to you. I wish you the best.
Annabeth on June 17, 2020:
I'm 15 now, and I only have a year until I will move again. So thank you for suggesting that I tell the truth. :)
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 17, 2020:
Annabeth - You are young and at this point there isn't pressure to date or be exclusive or anything so just let things happen. There is no need to "do" anything. If you potentially like both guys, be open and honest about your feelings with both as conversations come up and don't hide it. That way, there's no conflict. Everything is out in the open. Enjoy your relationships with both, whatever they happen to be!
Annabeth on June 16, 2020:
I also forgot to mention that I'm not sure if I like him, or another guy that I'm friends with that likes me. Im very confused, is there any advice you could give me?
Annabeth on June 16, 2020:
Hi, I met this guy in third grade and him and I became really close, He asked me out a couple of times, but I can't date until I'm 16. So he said he would wait for me. We were super close, we didn't want our classmates, or each other to know that we liked each other. I liked him for 4 years. And he was sort of my date to a dance. He is very smart and kind and was like my other half. We went to school together, but he was also my next door neighbor. In the summer I was supposed to go to 6th grade, we moved to a different state. We were In that other state for a year when my dad announced that we were moving. It turns out we were going back to the same small town, and i ended up being next door neighbors with him again, just in a different house. So that summer he came over every once in a while when it used to be almost daily. You see, neither of us go to the same school anymore. We are both very smart so we are going to schools that best fit us and our parents budgets. Its been a year since we moved back, and we just talk every once in awhile. I can say that my feelings for him haven't gone away. I don't think his has either. What should I do?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 17, 2020:
Trent Thibeaux - If one of the 119 songs listed here don't work, then click on my profile to access one of the other 250 or so playlists. There's gotta be something perfect just for her.
Trent Thibeaux on May 17, 2020:
I need a song that i can put on for my girlfriend
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 15, 2020:
Savanna - Wow, this is an overwhelming amount of communication. I hope that when you talk with your crushes you are more measured in how much you say at one time and that you take time to listen as well as talk. The risk is that you can sound like you're having verbal diarrhea. Just give that some thought.
Your questions about whether you have a crush on him and how to share your feelings with your crush are addressed in the following articles on PairedLife: http://hub.me/an3Lf "How to Tell Your Crush That You Like Them"
http://hub.me/an6SK "How to Know When You Have a Crush." If he already has a girlfriend, that's a moral decision you're going to have to make regarding whether you're comfortable being someone who attempts to intrude on someone else's relationship. I'd want someone to respect my commitment, and I'd be very upset it someone knowingly tried to take my boyfriend. What goes around comes around.
Savanna on May 14, 2020:
Ok, so there's this guy that I have had a crush on ever since I saw him walk on my school bus, and for some reason a lot of nights I literally dream that we are a couple, anyway we have said hi to each other in a few times before but I don't know how to tell him I like him, because first of all a few other girls like him too, and the worst part is he has a girlfriend, and lots of people in the past that I have told them I was attracted to them they either were freaked out that I told them or they were disgusted, and on top of it he's literally a few houses down from me. Two things I wanna know is how to tell him I like him and this may sound crazy but, I can't tell for sure if i'm in love with him or not, i've been in love before, but in a way it's different. I can't stop dreaming about him and I feel really nervous when i'm around him, he's a really nice and funny guy, I mean i'm just confused about what to do!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 14, 2020:
MG - Yes, a crush is a developing attraction. It's often a term that teens and very young people use.
MG Singh emge from Singapore on May 13, 2020:
What is a crush, its a liking for someone? For me, I always have a crush going. Lovely selection, quite an effort compiling them.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 13, 2020:
Peyton - I recommend taking it slow, developing a friendship with him and reading my article, "How to Tell Your Crush That You Like Them" on PairedLife." https://pairedlife.com/dating/How-to-Tell-Your-Cru...
Peyton on May 12, 2020:
sooo.. I like this boy but I do not know if he likes me back.. I have only been to his house like 10 times and he has been to mine about 10 as well. We facetime at least once a day if not more when we are not together and always are texting. Our parents have been friends for a while but my parents do not know how I feel about him and neither does he. I have liked him for about a month now and I have surprisingly done pretty good not making it weird when we are together or talking. He is a year older than me and tells me he doesn't like anyone. I can not tell if he is lying or not, but I have been told by multiple people that he likes me but again they can be lying to. He dated my best friend two years ago and sometimes I can not tell if they are over each other, they do not really flirt they just talk at school a lot and I just do not know who to believe or what I should do in this situation.. So please..please help me!!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 06, 2020:
Susan - Rather than approach it as a "relationship," instead describe it as a special friendship and ask if he can spend time with you and your family as a group. With more exposure to him, they'll see that he is trustworthy, kind, and responsible (rather than threatening and ready to impregnante you) and that you two are okay to spend some time together. They're treating you like you're 12, but attempt to have a reasonable discussion. You're close to being a legal adult! Maybe they can agree that he can come over to dinner, come over for a family game nights, or you all can go on family outings together -- once this pandemic is over. In the meantime, connect over social media since we all have to socially distance!
Susan on April 05, 2020:
Hi, I met this really great guy and we both like each other but I'm not allowed to date. I'm 17 and I'm a straight A student. I don't drink or do drugs or anything like that, I'm not perfect but I'm responsible and trustworthy. I've talked to my parents but they won't let me date him. How can I convince them that I'm ready for a relationship?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 05, 2020:
Maya - Give him a chance to respond. Explain what's been going on and understand that maybe he has similar demands on his end. Be direct and let him know that you really like him and miss seeing him in person but hope you can keep up via social media. A little honesty goes a long way.
Maya on April 04, 2020:
So I'm currently a senior in High School, and I met this guy in my night class. He was really friendly and kinda cute and even though we only saw each other once a week we developed a friendship. However, I was in a relationship already but things with the guy I was dating just weren't working out and I broke up with him. I continued to be the exact same with this guy in my night class, and I started to question if maybe I wanted to be more than friends. Then I started to think that maybe he liked me because he would be kinda of flirty and sometimes he would tell me that I looked really nice. Also, both of us are really into music and we were always telling each other certain artists or songs to listen to. I started to notice that he started telling me songs that were about feelings or kinda of romantic-ish first Moonlight by Bayou, then My Type by Saint Motel, and then Hung Up by Madonna. At first I didn't think it meant anything but then we started texting a lot and one day he did something really funny and he said that he loves to make me laugh when I asked him why he told me it was because he wanted me to like him. So about six weeks have passed and my feelings for this guy went from a slight attraction too a full blown crush. Only the problem is we no longer see each other because school is canceled because of the corona virus. We used to text all the time but for the past two weeks I've been kinda busy and it takes me longer to respond to his messages. I told him that I was going to be busy so I might not respond for awhile and he said he understood. This week we've barely texted at all. I texted him last night and he still hasn't even read the message. I'm worried that I might have hurt his feelings and made him possibly stop liking me. I really like him and I don't know what to do. Also I'm worried that I might be jumping in to things too quickly. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago, and even though I've completely moved on I'm not sure I should like someone else this soon. I really like this guy, but even if things don't work out romantically I really value his friendship and I don't know what to do.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 20, 2020:
bhattuc - Thank you for the kind commendation.
bhattuc on March 19, 2020:
This is a great article. Almost like a book on the matter in hand. Sort of compendium. Thanks.
= just me = on March 11, 2020:
I have a crush on my landlord, been her tenant for 5 months now. She’s very kind and sweet and for that I truly respect her with all my heart.
I know whatever I feel for her must be contained, moreso must be stopped coz it is way too complicated . So I decided to keep my distance. Make story short I started avoiding her coz when I see her or even have a small chat with her, my mind literally can’t think of anything but her alone. I think my strategy works well coz I think of her less now. However, I’m worried that she might get offended for she might think I’m being disrepectful of her.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 06, 2020:
amelah - Life is about taking risks. Here is a helpful article about how to tell your crush that you like them: https://hubpages.com/dating/How-to-Tell-Your-Crush...
amelah on March 04, 2020:
i want to tell my crush i like him but im not sure how to say it i dont want to get rejected and ruin our friendship but i dont just want to be friends i was to be more but i dont think he feels the same way
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 25, 2020:
Harvey1881 - Give her personal compliments, make the conversation increasingly personal (her opinions, feelings, beliefs, perspectives), and invite her to do something small but enjoyable (go to lunch or coffee, visit a museum, go for a walk). If she accepts and seems to appreciate small gestures, build on these and share your own feelings. Since she has recently left a relationship, she may not immediately be looking for anything deep so take it slow.
Harvey1881 on February 25, 2020:
Ok so I have a crush on a lady that is a few years older than me and we use to work together and we talk almost daily and I know she has ended her relationship with who she was with but I don't know how to go about letting her really know how I feel
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 16, 2020:
Ziya - Two years is a long time to have a crush on someone and not have an answer. If he rejects you, sure, it won't feel great but you'll have your answer and you can move on instead of wasting more time. If he likes you back, however ... game changer! Find out. https://pairedlife.com/dating/How-to-Tell-Your-Cru...
Ziya on February 16, 2020:
So I have a crush on this dude at my school and he is amazing in every way and sometimes I feel he giving me mixed signals and we have spoken before and other things. But my feeling for this boy is so irritating cause I don’t know how he feels and I want to talk to him about but I’m so scared of rejection. It just scares me so much of the thought of not likening him. I just don’t know anymore I’ve had a crush on him for 2 years
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 09, 2020:
Hadee Deh - If she is an adult and doesn't work for you or isn't in your class (i.e., you don't have any official authority over her that would be interpreted as coercion) it may be deemed fair to gently approach the subject such as asking her out for coffee. However, .if she thinks of you as her mentor or teacher and especially if there is a large age difference between you, there may be an ick factor to it. Approach the topic carefully.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 09, 2020:
Wilfred Shulet - Let her resolve the relationship she is currently in before you get serious. If you fail to do that, someone will get hurt.
Hadee Deh on February 08, 2020:
Hi. So I've had this crush on a student of mine ever since our first class. She's not my student anymore. We correspond with each other and are pretty friendly, but I think she still sees me as her teacher. Should I confess my crush?
Wilfred shulet on February 08, 2020:
I have a girlfriend who's already has a husband before he left her and came into my life. what should I do with her.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 27, 2020:
Asher - I've never heard of your sexual identity (it sounds like cheating) but as long as everyone is on board and aware I guess there's nothing wrong.
Asher on January 26, 2020:
So ummm my crush is breaking up with his girl and umm i have a gf but im polomorasexual so i like being with more than one person soo what should i do should i aask him or keep it
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 25, 2020:
Adarsh - As much as you love one another, that is a long time to wait. I hope the timing is right for you both. Good luck.
Adarsh on January 24, 2020:
My love story is different, she knows that I love her, I love her till the death, but I'm still 19, first I need to build a carrier, then I need have to take a responsibility, I'm not a kind of person who will dump her after some time,, I have been texting, talking to her from last 3 year's and I want next 50-60-70 years together, we talk a lot, actually I talk a lot, I share everything, she knows my Evey sh*t thing's, she is a good listener, and I'm a bad Strorteller, she's talk active person, not with me... I don't know why and I'm ok with that... Fallen for her bcz of those Beautiful hair which I will be remembering forever,, Someday I'm gonna hold her hand and I will request her to Wait for max 4 years so I can settle down,, bcz I want you badly, I believe in ma gut that you will be waiting for me....
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 21, 2020:
Alexia - If he has a girlfriend, turn your attention elsewhere. Don't try to be the cause of a breakup. You wouldn't want someone to do that to your relationship.
Alexia on January 21, 2020:
I have crush on this guy. I like him since i'm enter the middle school .His my first love.He didn't have a girlfriend,but now,he have a girlfriend.I never confess to him but when he have a girlfriend,I feel like I want to confess to him.Should I confess or NOT??
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 26, 2019:
kingjoe1 - She seems to treat you differently online vs. in person. You've had a crush on her for a while so how about asking her out for pizza or a smoothie or something that doesn't seem like a night time "date?" That'll give you the chance to talk to her one-on-one about what's going on in her life, how she feels about you, and why she's giving you mixed messages. Be sure to put your feelings out there. My guess is that there's something about you that is frustrating her. Maybe it's some misunderstanding? Express your feelings in person to her and see how she responds.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 26, 2019:
Deepa - If there is a mutual attraction but he is too busy because he is always playing video games, it doesn't seem like he has his priorities straight. Gaming can be addictive and all-consuming. Text him and propose that you meet in person for lunch or something similar and when you do so make sure you have his full attention. See if there is a human connection at that time. Don't continue to have a lopsided romance. You'll find it unfulfilling and the more you invest the worse it will become. Good luck.
kingjoe1 on December 22, 2019:
I have this one crush, I've known her since last year and we always had a good relationship. On snapchat, she sends people streaks but never sends one back to me. I snapped her saying how was your day and she ignored and I snapped her again directly and she said haha I'm doing good. We had a convo about computer science around midnight and I have a feeling she doesn't like me but every time we are next to each other in real life she smiles and tries to bring up a conversation. When I see her, she puts her head down and waits for me to make the first move. I check out her "vsco" collection and she keeps republishing posts that say show she wants to say something but is afraid too. And how she doesn't have time for small talk then we don't talk again. I posted a picture on instagram and she liked it but she keeps skipping my stories as well and I just think I should post a New Years post and see if she likes it. I also have a feeling she muted my profile on Instagram so she wouldn't see my stories anymore. I don't know what to do to be honest.
Deepa on December 21, 2019:
I just like a guy very much .he is little different from other normal guys. I told him about my feelings indirectly and he too admitted that he also like me .but after that we are not having sufficient conversation as he is a gamer he is always busy .if he also likes me then why dont he text me first? Why always me ? I helplessy fall for him even he dont give attention
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 19, 2019:
PinkStarbursts - This happens. Refocus your energy on your committed romance at home and try to breathe some new fire into it. Additionally, admitting the crush to your significant other is one way to kill it fast, providing they are adult enough to process the information. Keep conversations with the crush professional/work-related rather than venturing into personal discussions. You might also lay low for a while. Review the indicators of "how to flirt" to ensure that you're not doing that near him (head tilting, lengthy eye contact, touching, sitting/standing close, etc.). Good luck.
PinkStarbursts on December 18, 2019:
I have been in my current relationship for over 10 years, and I love my partner very much, but as happens sometimes in life, I have a crush on a coworker, who is married. I've been trying really hard to hide it from the coworker, but I think I've been figured out. How do I get over this or make things less obvious/awkward?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 16, 2019:
Anonymous - He doesn't seem to be available right now, as he has a girlfriend. The best you can hope for is a friendship. Live your life and pursue other interests, including other dating interests. It's possible his girlfriend found out about the crush.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 16, 2019:
Brian - A lot of that depends on their level of skill and subtlety (or lack of it). Although it focuses on how to recognize when you have a crush, the following article lists signs of a crush and it applies to recognizing crushes in others as well:
https://hubpages.com/dating/How-to-Know-When-You-H... Look for the signs. Your friends know, too, if this person seems to be sweet on you.
Anonymous on December 15, 2019:
My crush is a guy a half inch shorter than me. We were best friends last year, and he’s been ignoring me lately. I recently got his number and found out he has a girlfriend. I really like him, and he’s really kind to me, or was at least.
Brian on December 14, 2019:
How do you know if your crush is trying to get your attention?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on November 24, 2019:
anonymous - Your description is very sweet. I encourage you to let him know that you think he is special and exchange contact information in case you want to stay in touch. Here is an article on how to tell your crush that you like them: https://pairedlife.com/dating/How-to-Tell-Your-Cru...
anonymous on November 21, 2019:
I have a crush, he is only 124 days older than me. He goes to my school and my scouts but he will be up leaving scouts soon because he will turn 15 in the ne t August and then after year 11 (he is in year 10 right now) we will probably never see each other again. Right now we are just friends but I am longing to be with him I just don’t know how he feels. The only thing I have gotten really is he replies very fast to my texts and I noticed him looking at me and when I caught him, he smirked and shrugged then looked the other way. I have a feeling he is talking to someone though... he might not be. But we have totally different tastes in music! But I think he is so sweet and funny and omg I just love him I sing these songs to myself at night time because it lets me think of what it would be like if we were together
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on November 19, 2019:
Angela - ok thanks
Angela Batson on November 18, 2019:
my crush is awsome amnd cute
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on November 11, 2019:
Anonymous - Good luck and thank you for sharing.
Anonymous on November 11, 2019:
I have a crush, his name is Max, he even has the same religion as me, we've played volleyball together for a church activity, but I don't think I'm ever going to tell him I like him, besides I'm not even 16 yet. I did catch him sneaking glances at me yesterday though
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on November 08, 2019:
natdog - Just because you're an unlikely pair doesn't mean it's hopeless. Choose a song from this very long song list.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on November 07, 2019:
Layla - Thank you for the song suggestions. Have a great week.
Robert Sacchi on November 06, 2019:
Yes, Blondie had some great songs.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on November 06, 2019:
Bob - Great song! I love Blondie. I added it at #114.
Layla on November 04, 2019:
Don't Blame A Girl for Trying by: Sabrina Carpenter
Senorita by: Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello
Replay by: Zendaya
Had Me @ Hello by: Olivia Holt
Smoke and Fire by: Sabrina Carpenter
Love Is The Name by: Sofia Carson
Last Christmas by: Asher Angel
One Thought Away by: Asher Angel
Chemistry by: Asher Angel
Getaway by: Asher Angel
YOUTH by: Troye Sivan
Written In The Stars by: The Girl and The Dreamcatcher
Glowing In The Dark by: The Girl and The Dreamcatcher
Hurricane by: Forever In Your Mind
Robert Sacchi on November 04, 2019:
Would "The Tide is High" by Blondie fall into this category?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on November 01, 2019:
Cupcake - He likes someone else so don't go chasing him when you know he has a girlfriend. It cheapens the attraction. If he really liked you as much as you liked him he'd break up with her. Sorry but I'm just giving it to you straight.
Cupcake on November 01, 2019:
Basically me and this boy met in secondary and ever since I have liked him. We sit together a lot so I decided to ask him out and he said no. But a couple days later he said it’s only cause he liked someone else so now I’m unsure of his feelings for me . What should I do ???
Robert Sacchi on October 27, 2019:
You're welcme. Hope you had a great weekend.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 27, 2019:
Bob - Thanks for the suggestion which I added. Have a great week ahead.
Robert Sacchi on October 27, 2019:
Would "Brand New Key" by Melanie fall into this category?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 27, 2019:
idk - Make sure you understand one another so no one gets hurt.
idk on October 26, 2019:
He is currently one of my friends. We call everyday and we have 2 classes together. I'm not sure if he likes me, or if its just a good friendship. Even I'm not sure if I like him like that. I'm not longing to be with him, I just really appreciate him. I think its just a rlly good friendship.
natdog12345678910 on October 24, 2019:
i like someone they dont notice me and i have no chance with him what are some suggegtions u have for me
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 24, 2019:
Bob - I didn't know that either!
Robert Sacchi on October 23, 2019:
So that's what My Sharona is all about. Thanks Spinspiel.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 23, 2019:
Spinspiel - Thanks for the song suggestion.
Spinspiel on October 22, 2019:
OMG you are missing the biggest "crush" song of all time -----
The Knack - My Sharona.
Doug Fieger of the Knack had a crush on 17 year old Sharona Alperin.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 21, 2019:
Haylee - Thanks for these songs suggestions. I've added them! Have a great week!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 21, 2019:
Mimmy - Thank you for these great song suggestsions! Have a wonderful week ahead.
Haylee on October 20, 2019:
Stop Standing There by Avril Lavigne, Crush by Avril Lavigne, I Really Like You by Carly Rae Jepsen.
Mimmy on October 19, 2019:
1. Crush by Avril Lavigne.
2. Sucker by Jonas Brothers.
3. Nobody Love by Tori Kelly.
4. Heartbeat Song by Kelly Clarkson.
5. Ment to be by Bebe Rexha.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 14, 2019:
Eva - Thank you for the song suggestions. The Tate McRae song was already on there and I added the Alli Simpson song. Regarding your question, a number of others have asked similar questions. Instead of writing him a note, try to talk with him and develop a personal connection first to see if there is an attraction. Take a look at the questions and answers above for specific suggestions on how to do that. I've answered many questions on the topic.
You've convinced me to write an article about the topic instead of answering these one by one.
Eva on October 13, 2019:
Hey i really like this boy in my class. we are not friends and we never talk. how can i get closer to him? if i write him a secret love letter and put it in his locker, what kind of stuff should i say?
also i have a few song suggestions. they are "notice me" by Alli Simpson, "one day" by Tate McRae and "i think im in love again" by Kat Dahlia. thanks
Robert Sacchi on September 29, 2019:
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 29, 2019:
Bob - Thanks for the song suggestion.
Robert Sacchi on September 28, 2019:
Another trip down memory lane. Have you considered "Midnight Confessions" by The Grass Roots?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 01, 2019:
Lana - You don't say how you determined that he "clearly" did not have the same feelings for you. However, it seems that your relationship with him has recently strengthened. If he is flirting now, then you've probably gotten mixed messages along the way. Or, maybe you've read him incorrectly. Resolve it with open and honest face-to-face communication.
There is nothing wrong with finding a quiet time when you have time to talk and both of you are relaxed. Then just ask him. The conversation might go along the lines of, "So … can I ask you what is this thing we have going on? I'm confused. Are we just buddies who flirt on occasion or do you want it to be more?" Don't be afraid to ask him to state his feelings or intentions, but at the same time be ready to do the same. If what he wants doesn't coincide with your own goals, be ready to cool things way down and let him know WHY. There are plenty of attractive, sensitive young men out there who are interested in meaningful relationships rather than just the latest sexual conquest. Get the answer you need rather than just guessing. Good luck!
Lana Rosemund on August 29, 2019:
i reconnected with an old friend of mine i used to go school with about a year ago. I started to grow a crush on him but he clearly did not feel the same, but lately since around 5 months we have been flirting and talking a lot. we make it sure that we talk or update each other about our day everyday. He insisted on meeting me and plans to meet me again and hang out often. sometimes he acts weird which makes me sceptical. i doubt that he flirts with me just because he is bored but then he does something sweet. its like we have this unspoken thing and we are kinda in the 'talking phase' but idk. plus i cannot confess cause im scared it might damage my friendship with him, also my overthinking gets me to believe that he is a sort of a fuckboy. please help me :(