104 Songs About Crushes and Crushing on Someone

I'm concerned that you're getting ahead of yourself. First, you know that he's dating someone else, so honor that. If he truly didn't like her or want to be with her, he'd break up with her. Give him the space to figure that out for himself instead of being the cause of it. You wouldn't want anyone creating trouble in your dating relationship, would you?

Second, since you say he has no clue how you feel, going from that to professing undying love is like going from zero to 100. Slow down. Work on a friendship with him instead while he works out his relationship issues. There's nothing wrong with letting him know that IF he ever becomes single, then you'd be interested. Or, you might say that he's your kind of guy, his girlfriend is very lucky, and ask him where you would meet someone like him? It gets the point across well enough.

If he likes you as well as you claim he does, then you'll end up together. While he figures it out, however, don't stop looking elsewhere.

Think about it this way. I know people who went to high school 40 years ago who had a crush on a classmate but never took the chance to express themselves or ask the person out. You don't want to be one of them, do you?

Since you're both in your last year in school, you need to take the chance while you have it. You don't have to express undying love for her, just ask her out. Just because you may be an unlikely couple doesn't mean you're beneath her.

If it turns out that indeed she does not share your romantic interest, at least you have her out of your system. You won't be left wondering, "What if?" for the next umpteen decades. Sure, rejection hurts but we've all experienced it and we get over it. Not knowing is so much worse.

Friendships start when people notice that they have things in common -- ideas, experiences, hobbies, interests, or other friends AND they expect to interact with one another regularly. Thus, you'll need an opportunity to share similarities and develop interpersonal trust through regular contact. That can be via classes, friendship groups, clubs or organizations you both belong to, etc.

The best chance of doing so is if you have a mutual friend who can include you in the friend group that he hangs out in. You'll have a chance to talk with him and then see if you share common ideas, a sense of humor, interests, etc.

Be genuine, but befriend a friend of his and you'll find yourself included in the group eventually. If that is absolutely not possible, join a club he's in, take a class he's in or learn about a hobby he's interested in (as long as you're genuinely interested). Start to sit near him if you're already in a class he's in, attend his games if he's in sports (especially if you have other friends on the team who can introduce you?), etc. Show some interest so you'll have something specific to talk to him about. (People love talking about themselves.)

When I was a teenager, a guy who was crushing on me decided to become best friends with my next door neighbor to get closer to me. They played basketball for hours on my family's basketball hoop. Sometimes I'd go out and talk to him. We ended up dating long-term.

You've sent letters, but he seems unsure. I'm assuming that means he doesn't respond to you. Maybe he's shy, doesn't share your feelings, or likes someone else.

Either talk to him or send one more note. Let him know that you're interested and would like to get to know him, but this will be your last letter unless you hear back. Provide contact information such as your social media addresses, phone number, locker number, and/or email. Tell him if he's interested, then here are the ways he can get in touch. (For some people, you need to spell it out!) You might even include a little bit of information about yourself, too. For example, what might you have in common? Then you'll just have to wait. If he doesn't contact you, move on. Anything more is stalky.

You have been friend zoned, meaning you have romantic feelings about him and he does not return these feelings. He has specifically told you that you can still be friends and he likes another girl. You need to honor his decision. You can't make someone like you. None of us can. I know that hurts. Although it may be logical that you and he should be together, your crush is just not feeling it. I'm sorry. I've been there, too.

The best thing to do is to work on getting over your crush. Distance yourself from him for now. Definitely stop waiting for him after school and chat on social media and in school only on occasion, like you do with other guys who are strictly friends. Over time, it'll become easier as your feelings for him fade.

If he's continuing to flirt with you, he still likes you. Flirting includes long gazes, sitting close to you, going out of his way to be near you or talk to you, trying to impress you or vie for your attention, etc. If you still worry about whether he still likes you, just ask him. Here's a suggestion for how to introduce the topic into the conversation. "John, remember what you said before winter break about your feelings for me?" (Wait for his embarrassed response.) "Do you still feel that way?" Be ready to declare how much you like him.

Little things such as complimenting him, bringing him a pack of gum or candy bar every now and then, or reaching over and drawing a heart on his notebook can be a way of showing that you care.

Your friend was probably trying to move things forward. Since you don't know how he feels about you, a couple of your options now are:

1) wait for him to say something to you about it

2) initiate conversation with him and/or a little flirting and see how he responds

3) get a mutual friend to include you in a group activity, so you can get to know him better

4) find out his contact information on social media and see if he's receptive to talking over text, social media, etc.

Hope this helps.

A church or other established group is a great place to meet a like-minded person. You both likely share similar values and are there for the same purpose. So that's a great first step.

It's okay to be introverted, but don't let it hold you back from going after your goals in life, okay? First, work on making eye contact with him and smiling. Initially, it may be from a distance, but try to maintain your gaze and not look down or away. Think "confidence" and "positivity" rather than shame or embarrassment. (Silently to yourself, you should be telling yourself how fabulous God made you. Fill your mind with affirmations to calm your anxiety!)

Secondly, do you have a church friend who is more outgoing than you -- someone you can trust with your feelings? If so, confide in them about your crush so that your friend can support you in getting up the nerve to sit near your crush and talk with him. Your friend can serve as your sidekick and help facilitate conversation, fill in awkward gaps, and even introduce the two of you. You may even want to set goals for yourself as motivation. As for the nervousness, just remember to breathe deeply rather than shallowly. Everyone gets nervous. In talking to your crush, remember that questions are always reliable as people love to talk about themselves. You might also compliment him on something if it's genuine.

Third, churches typically have various subgroups (e.g., committees, Bible studies, youth groups, choirs, field trips, plays, etc.). He's probably a member of one or more of these smaller groups. This is your chance to get to know him better by becoming a member of that same subgroup. Work on letting a friendship blossom first rather than romance.

I hope these ideas help you to get a little closer to your crush.

If this is about social anxiety, then someone has to make a move and be the first to talk. Music is the perfect way to do that. Make him a playlist of your favorite songs or songs, songs that remind you of him, or songs on a favorite subject. For example, if he likes math or engineering, there are lots of STEM-related songs. Alternatively, you can send him a single song about having a crush on him. Then ask him what he thought of it.

Your strong attraction to your friend has brought increasing focus on your sexual orientation and issues of identity. Please don’t feel ashamed of who you are, regardless of whether you receive support from your family. Sexual orientation is a complex array of genetic, hormonal, and sociocultural (environmental) influences.

You may not be ready yet to come out to select family members until you understand more about who you are. Why not discuss your feelings with your friend as a first step? That discussion may reveal that her crush for the other person pales in comparison to her feelings for you, who knows?

In the meantime, you may also want to start to take the following steps to the extent that you are ready:

1) read about sexual orientation and the issues that the LGBT community faces

2) educate yourself about LGBT resources available, both online and locally

3) start to develop a support network - seek support from LGBT people you know and from LGBT allies (people who are accepting of LGBT people and who advocate for fair and equal treatment).

I wish you well.

Regarding your classmate, it doesn't seem that you return his crush so tell him that you appreciate the special attention he has shown you, but you don't see him that way in return. You see him instead as a friend (or fill in the blank). "I appreciate the special attention, but I see you as a friend." Once you practice this and get good at saying it, it'll be easier to deliver that message in the future to others without guilt or embarrassment. Make sure to deliver the bad news in private so let him down easy, and afterward, don't avoid him.

Regarding the other portion of your comment, are you pressuring yourself to have someone in your life because you think you "should"? Especially given your last dating relationship, maybe you should wait and work through some things first. This is especially the case if a past dating partner was bullying or abusive towards you or if they cheated on you. (I don't know what "my last relationshp didn't go well" means exactly.") It's completely okay not to have someone and just be single while you figure out who YOU are. In short, don't be rushed to "do" anything.

Since your crush is already aware of your feelings and you know he doesn't share them, you need to move on emotionally and choose someone else to turn your attention toward. Sorry, he's just not feeling it. Rejection has happened to all of us. Although it would be awkward if your friend started to date him, you can't prevent that from happening and it would be wrong to try. Your friend should make her own decisions. However, you can be honest with her that you are recovering from rejection and you feel hurt, disappointed and a little envious that he likes her instead of you.

It's obvious that you haven't gotten over him yet and cannot be "just friends." He knows this. Thus, he's not 100% true to his girlfriend when he contacts you. (Does she know?) Particularly since you were the one to break up with him, he's simply trying to make you jealous.

The best thing for your mental health is to tell him that you still have some unresolved feelings for him, and because you respect that he's in a committed relationship with someone else, you're going to have to stop talking to him right now because your feelings are still a little too raw. Tell him you have a hard time being "just friends" with him right now, but at some later point when you've had more time to get over time, it may be easier. Don't continue to play games with him. Your candid admission may win him over, who knows.

You absolutely need to tell him. Do not delay. Since you have limited time and you will be apart for awhile, why not buy a parting gift that he can remember you by? It doesn't have to be big or expensive, just memorable, and preferably something he'll keep with him and remind him of you (i.e., not something generic). When you've made your selection, contact him, and either ask him to lunch or tell him you need to see him before he goes away. Present your gift there.

Practice what you're going to say. Make sure he has your contact information and a photo. Better yet, take a parting selfie if it feels right. Set aside your fear and just GO FOR IT. People regret opportunities they don't take. If you'd like, you can pour your heart out in a card as well in case you don't nail it verbally. I'm rooting for you.

You've got this.

Turning red in the face, blushing, or flushing is a general sign of embarrassment, stress, or feeling overly warm. He probably feels anxious and fearful of rejection or being negatively evaluated by you. As a result, he wears the emotion on his face.

That's certainly the easy way out, especially if you think you stand a good chance of being rejected. When you tell someone in person, you have the benefit of being able to witness your crush's nonverbal behavior. Do they look anxious and surprised? Delighted? Confused? You won't see it over text.

First, have you confirmed that this guy is single? Second, he may have been texting with you for old time's sake rather than because he feels some sexual attraction to you now. People change a lot in forty years, and sometimes it's tough to separate the memory of what once was from the reality of now.

Make sure you're dealing with him as two adults now. Also, ensure you're honest with both him and yourself about your feelings and who you are as well as what you want in life. Take it slow and get to know him NOW. I suspect he has a much more complicated life than he is revealing and may want different things than you do. That's okay.

Don't rely on texting as the basis for a relationship, as it can never replace good old-fashioned conversation and face to face romance. See if he'll meet you casually over lunch or drinks and take it slow, getting to know him before you rush into confessions of how you feel.

Assuming there's already been a display of mutual interest through flirting, here are some creative ideas if you don't want to jump right to a candid conversation:

1. Make a collage about your relationship. Some hearts will clue your friend in that this is more than just friendship for you.

2. Make a "story of us" video of your relationship using the best moments. Divide the video into "chapters" like a book, and at the end,

signify "Next chapter?" That's a great segue for having a conversation about where you want this relationship to go.

3. Write a poem if that's your talent. It can be funny or serious.

4. Express your feelings in a letter.

5. Play "Would You Rather" (or 20 Questions) either via texting or in person. Along with silly questions slip in a question or so about would you rather hold hands/kiss/date you or (name an alternative person). This will naturally lead you down a conversation path.

6. Make a playlist of flirty songs. Send them to your crush either as a playlist or text your crush a song every couple of days and tell them why it reminded you of them.

7. If you share an inside joke or interest, buy matching t-shirts or other items.

8. Play a game of "Tell Me Something Awkward." It can be an embarrassing story, something you can never do correctly (like tell right from left), a strange habit, or a crush on a best friend! Since both people take turns admitting awkward things, you never know ... your crush may admit they like you first!

Don't feel ashamed about expressing your feelings to a schoolmate you've known for years. After suffering in silence for years, you took a chance, and although you didn't get the response you immediately wanted, you should be proud of being genuine and just putting your emotions out there. (You didn't indicate you much time has passed since your confession.)

Regardless, he claimed that he likes someone else. He seems to be giving you mixed messages, however, with the hand touching. Perhaps he changed his mind about liking that other person, had a girlfriend at the time you confessed your feelings for him, wasn't sure about how he felt about you and now is, or he just froze and didn't know how to respond. It's obvious that he values maintaining some kind of relationship with you because he does try to approach you and sits near you.

Can you get up the nerve to tell him you're confused by his behavior and ask him why he blushes and turns around when he looks at you (describe his exact behavior nonjudgmentally)? Can you get up the nerve to just ask him why he starts touching your hand when he sits near you -- especially if he likes someone else? Simply asking him will be the best way to get to the bottom of this.

Chances are you came on too strong, confessing way too much too soon, or he just doesn't feel the same. For an apology, less is more. For example, "Bill, I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed or create an awkward situation. I realize I said too much, and I'm sorry I put you on the spot. Will you forgive me?" Although the conversation is best to have in person, if he's avoiding you, send it via mail, email, or text. Once you've had the conversation, stop bringing it up and stop your the behavior that embarrassed him. You're friendzoned.

Revealing your feelings for someone in a way that won't overwhelm them and thus embarrass either one of you or ruin your friendship is usually a matter of timing and degree. (Bad timing, for example, might be if they're in love with someone else.)

Rather than pour out a total confession of your undying love, use flirting to assess whether the interest is mutual. Take flirting slow and gauge their reactions. My article "How to Get Noticed: The Sexy Science of Flirting" http://hub.me/afUpB describes the importance of 1) what you wear, 2) smiling, 3) eye contact, 4) strategic use of interpersonal space, and 5) touch. These are the five critical factors in getting noticed as a potential dating partner.

When you flirt, pay attention to whether your love interest returns your gestures with flirting of their own or if they seem disinterested, confused, and pull away. The more they flirt back, the more you can amp up your charm.

If all signs are go, you can also try various compliments (including compliments about their attractiveness) and attempt to get more alone time with them. If things still look positive for you, you may then start to unfold revelations about how you feel. You can start by saying that you "enjoy" or "appreciate" them (adding specifically what you like ... e.g., they're smart, funny, attractive, we understand one another) and you would like to spend more time with them. They could ask what that means, so be ready to explain a bit. You might ask how they feel about you. This should tell you whether your relationship is staying in the friend zone or venturing further.

Have a goal in mind (e.g., a movie or play together, a joint trip to the park) and suggest that any time they'd like to go/take you, then you'd be interested. If you've read your cues right, you haven't dumped on them all at once, and you'll be able to experiment with dating.

Flirting when one or both parties are taken can be fun and harmless when there's no follow through, and both parties are being honest about where their situation is heading. However, I'm concerned that he knows you like him, he's emotionally unavailable, and he may be toying with you. Only you know how far the flirting has gone.

You are attracted to someone whom you know is taken, but keep in mind that he is the one with the relationship commitment with the girlfriend. Has his flirting with you crossed a line between fun and emotionally betraying his girlfriend? If so, is this guy someone you would want to date? How would you feel if you were his in his girlfriend's shoes?

At some point, you're going to get tired of this flirting that is just empty teasing and toying. You may even want to tell him you're tired of just flirting with him and that if he were ever single, you'd date him, but right now he's acting like a player.

Just because you're a tomboy does NOT mean you're doomed to loneliness. Just because you're a tomboy does NOT mean no guy will find you attractive. So you had a crush on a guy who preferred girly girls. If you had known that about him up front, you might not have wasted your time thinking so much about him. Don't draw large conclusions about yourself based on just one (or a few) examples -- especially negative conclusions.

There are plenty of dateable guys out there, and you'll find those who are interested. Concentrate on making yourself the happiest, healthiest person you can be, and stop beating yourself up. My daughter is in her late teens and has always been a tomboy -- avid tree climber, soccer player, cross country runner, kayaker, hiker, and she attended a four-year engineering program in high school that immersed her in robotics and building things with power tools. She's never worn much makeup and prefers casual clothes. In spite of all this or (BECAUSE of it!) she's never had a problem having either male friends or dates. Think about how much more you have to talk about with guys when you focus on things you love that they happen to be interested in as well.

Just don't let this kill your confidence. Self-confidence attracts, so work on becoming the happiest, most interesting person possible and accepting yourself the way you are. Do that, and you'll shine from the inside, no makeup required.

This one is easy. The only one this guy truly has a crush on is himself. Leave him alone. He's a player, pure trouble and not worth the time or emotion you invest.

Mixed messages are possible when people are socially awkward, new to something, or embarrassed about the context. A shy, studious person, for example, may find it awkward to flirt back with a classmate in front of a classroom full of friends and a teacher. However, give the same person a quiet, one-on-one conversation, and he may be very flirtatious. If you suspect this is the case, try to make your interactions more personal. Compliment him, start conversations with him, sit next to him if you can, and/or touch him lightly on the arm or shoulder while talking with him. Then gauge how he responds. Does he seem to want more? If he's chatty, doesn't move away, and even compliments you back, those are signs, he's into you as well. Thus, my recommendation is to ramp up the flirting to see whether he's into you.

That's the challenge of sending and receiving unsigned love notes. The receiver has to guess who the sender is; however, their guess may be very wrong! There's also no way to respond if you don't know who sent it.

The best course of action is to either wait until the next letter or jumpstart the process by trying to determine who sent the note so that the person will reveal himself or herself more quickly. Talk to friends, sharing that you received a note and you are trying to discover who sent it. See if they know who might have a crush on you. Out of privacy and respect for the sender, don't let others read it.

Sooner or later, the sender will step forward. You're going to have to be patient on this one. Have fun with it!

Since you already know he likes you back, there isn't a lot of risk involved, so make it fun. Music can help you do that. I suggest making him a playlist of songs that remind you about him. Borrow heavily from Spinditty's "Positive Vibe Playlist: Happy and Uplifting Songs to Put You in a Good Mood," because this list of songs probably captures the top-of-the-world way he makes you feel (and the way he feels about you too, according to his friend): https://hubpages.com/playlists/Feel-Great-Playlist... You might include a special note about why each track is relevant. Make the last song your "ask out" song. I like Kelsea Ballerini's song, "Dibs" (2017) for this purpose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3lCzEOy5xs or a classic tune, "Can't Fight This Feeling" (1984) by REO Speedwagon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpOULjyy-n8.

Your new best friend may be using the term "partner" because he already has one, so I recommend slowing it down just a bit and finding out more about him before sharing your feelings of sexual attraction. Why not ask if he wants to hang out on a weekend or one evening? That'll give you a more relaxed environment to find out more about him, including his love life -- who he's dating (if anyone), how serious the relationship is, how long he's been out, etc.

Naturally, you, in turn, can share similar information -- your dating history, what type of guy you find attractive, how long you've been out, etc. Because of his frequent reference to the word "partner" I would make it more of a bonding experience in which you compare experiences and get to know one another. Even if he's madly in love with this other guy, maybe it's not all bad. With you being new to the school, perhaps they can introduce you to other gay young men who are potential love interests.

You ask a good question. I recall when my daughter was beginning high school, running on the cross country team. A cute guy would slow down while running so he could talk to her, and she didn't know why he was doing that so she would run faster to get away from him. I had to explain to her that he was trying to flirt. Now we laugh about it, but she was puzzled at the time.

Your guy is probably interested but may not know where to take it next. Here are some signs that a guy is interested in you:

1) he looks at you a lot, making direct eye contact

2) he smiles "to the eyes" when he sees you (a real smile instead of a fake grin)

3) he generally faces you and often leans in to listen to you or sits close, giving you his full attention (instead of his phone)

4) he finds excuses to touch you (e.g., sitting thigh to thigh, touching your hand) and he doesn't flinch when you touch him

5) he has inside jokes with you, tries to impress you, constantly seeks your attention, suddenly seems to be around a lot more than previously

6) other people seem to get that he likes you (like his friends and yours)

7) he unwittingly "mirrors" your behaviors -- if you lean up against the wall, so does he

8) he compliments you a lot, noticing things that others don't or that he previously did not

9) he initiates conversation and is reluctant to end it

10) he doesn't seem to notice other girls

11) when you're talking, he often shows he's curious by raising his eyebrows and tilting his head

I'd suggest additional group outings with friends. Watch the signs above and maybe have a female friend look for the signs, too. That should tell you what you need to know!

You’ve made your feelings clear to someone who currently has a girlfriend, and he has chosen to honor his commitment to his girlfriend. You should respect that and turn your attention elsewhere.

Work on being a happy, healthy and positive person. You may be surprised to find how good things will come your way when you work on you. You cannot force him to love you. However, you might be surprised that there’s someone else out there who probably thinks you’re pretty terrific. You may not have noticed him because you were way too wrapped up in your crush. Give someone other than your crush a chance to discover and appreciate you.

This guy has already begun to come between you two as you knowingly compete for his attention. It sounds like he likes your friend more at this point. Before it gets more out of hand, you both need to have a difficult and admittedly awkward conversation in which you get it all out on the table that both of you have a crush on the same guy. Then come to a mutual agreement regarding how important the friendship is and an action plan regarding him. This might be:

1) One of you steps back and allows the other to pursue a potential relationship with the crush.

2) Both of you decide the friendship is more important than this one guy and so neither dates with the guy.

3) You agree to both go for it and let him decide who he likes, which would probably mean driving a huge wedge in your friendship.

If your friend is less concerned about your feelings than getting the guy, the damage to your friendship may already have been done. It's best to have this discussion as soon as possible.

My first inclination is that a guy who is that immature probably isn't worth your trouble. It's one thing to not yet have the courage to approach you. It's fine to be shy and permit one's friends to take over a bit. They apparently know about his feelings for you. However, the hugging other girls while looking at you? And getting angry and leaving when he sees that you are with another guy? That's childish and counterproductive if he has a crush on you!

If you still want to go forward with this crush, hey, I get it. Therefore, as a second option, I provide thoughts below.

You're going to have to be the thinking, reasonable one. Don't wait to make your feelings known because that'll give him more opportunity to do stupid things trying to one-up your stunt (walking by with your male classmate). A couple of options to choose from:

1) Single out one of his friends and separate them from the rest of the group to talk with them briefly, especially if your crush is hanging on a girl. Ask bluntly whether your crush is making fun of you, whether he has a crush on you, or what's the deal? You can even "confide" in the friend that you have a tiny crush on the guy but express annoyance that he's acting like a jerk or a player. The message will get back to your crush immediately.

2) When you pass by, even if your crush is hugging a girl, go up directly to him. Acknowledge the girl he's hanging on by saying hello to her as well as him. Ask whether you can have a minute of his time. If he and/or the girl don't get the hint that this is private, then say, "it's personal and I wanted to talk with you alone, when you get a chance" or "let me know when you have a moment and we can talk alone -- here is my number if you need it."

3) Get his contact information through friends and directly connect with him through social media.

4) Pass him a note along the lines of "Don't be mad. Now you know how I feel. No more games." Put your number on the bottom.

5) If he's on a sports team or in a club, especially without those friends, arrange to attend so you can approach him afterward and talk to him alone. Guys act more authentic when they are alone, away from the influence of larger groups of friends.

Your crush is probably staring and smiling at you (aka flirting) because he likes you and doesn't know how to break the silent awkwardness between you. Someone has to be the one to speak first rather than go through an in-between. If you like him that much, then why don't you 1) stare at him back and smile, 2) attempt to talk to him, 3) give him your contact information or ask for his.

Since you prefer not to confess your attraction, use flirting as a fun first step to assess whether the interest between you and your crush is mutual. Take flirting slow and watch how your crush responds. Flirting will telegraph your initial interest while avoiding some of the awkwardness of rejection if it’s not mutual. (Know, however, that if the flirting progresses and you seek to take it to the next level, eventually you will need to acknowledge having some feelings for your crush.)

Here are a couple of tips. Amp up your physical appearance and what you wear. This will improve your confidence around your crush and get their attention. The color red attracts special notice when worn by either men or women. Smile and make steady eye contact. Offer your crush sincere compliments. As you talk with your crush, try to subtly move a little closer, more into their personal space -- if you sense that they are comfortable. Use appropriate levels of touch if you sense that it is welcome. For example, when sitting next to them, graze their arm or leg with yours in a non-obvious manner. Pretend to pick a hair or lint off their shoulder or touch their hand lightly.

Reading your crush’s signals are very important. When you flirt, pay attention to whether your crush seems disinterested, confused, or pulls away or if instead, they return your flirtations with flirty gestures of their own. The more they flirt back, the more you can turn up your charm.

If you want to know more, my article "How to Get Noticed: The Sexy Science of Flirting" https://pairedlife.com/dating/Get-Noticed-The-Scie... describes the importance of five critical factors in getting noticed as a potential dating partner: 1) what you wear, 2) smiling, 3) eye contact, 4) strategic use of interpersonal space, and 5) touch.

Your crush probably got this wrong information through a prior miscommunication with you, so it's important that he understands the truth. You should correct his misinformation ASAP if it's important to you. Going through another person would make your crush question what is true, so set the record straight personally and see how he responds.

Here are two options. Next time he mentions your attraction to his brother, ask him why he believes you like his brother because it's him (the crush) you like. Don't skip a beat when you say it -- do it in all one sentence. That approach is to-the-point, surprising, and prompts a response from him.

Another option is to say that you'd like to clear up a simple misunderstanding and ask whether he has a minute to hear you out. When he says "sure," ask whether he remembers the original conversation you had where he came to the conclusion that you liked his brother (describe it). Then lay out the truth that you never liked his brother; you like him instead.

Either way, be ready for questions. The conversation is best had in person, but if you must, you can FaceTime or even text. Texting is certainly the safe way, but it loses its appeal in being able to gauge his reactions.

There are many ways to express your love to someone: a playlist of special songs, a poem, photograph or slideshow, baked items, or a piece of handmade art. Ways to express love are as unique as the people communicating the emotion.

Before you pour your heart out, however, first invest some time in getting closer to your crush and getting to know him as an individual. Work on making your classmate your friend so that you can see whether there is indeed a natural chemistry between you. Try to get assigned to the same workgroups or class projects as he is, sit near him, and talk with him when you can. Building a friendship will make it easier to express your romantic attraction later.

This has happened to ALL of us at some point, so please don't feel too badly. I'm sure it hurts nevertheless. Try not to take the rejection too personally, and don't let what others say or think define what you think of yourself.

Are you lucky enough to know WHY your crush doesn't like you? If so, and it's something 1) reasonable, 2) appropriate, and 3) within your control, then you can always try self-improvement provided that you agree with the feedback. You be the decision maker about any such feedback. Examples of feedback wherein change would be useful: you're known for cheating on dating partners; you engage in immature or unsafe behaviors such as drinking and driving, fighting, or doing drugs; or you don't hold up your end of the conversation. Self-improvement could only help you in these situations if they are true.

If your crush doesn't like you because you're not their "type" -- you're not their preferred race, religion, body build/height, nationality, they are a different sexual orientation, because you have a disability, you remind them of someone, etc. -- leave it and STOP feeling bad about yourself. You cannot become what they are seeking and probably would not want to if you had the power to do so. We all have notions of what our "type" is, but some people go overboard. Let this be their issue, not yours.

On the other hand, maybe you have NO clue why the person doesn't return your liking. That's often the case. If that's your situation, you're going to have to respect their decision and be at peace with it. Sometimes a person just feels no chemistry.

Here are some ideas for trying to cope:

1) Get some distance from your crush, if possible, so you don't have a constant reminder of the rejection.

2) Talk to friends or others who understand what it's like being turned down. Particularly try to seek out people who will help you take your mind off the situation and divert your attention to something fun and more positive. Don't go on and on. Get your feelings out and be done with it.

3) If you have any reminders of your crush like notes or memorabilia, toss them or put them away. Tell your friends NOT to update you about your former crush either. Outta sight, outta mind, outta conversation.

4) If it hurts too much to engage with your crush on social media (assuming you followed/were friends on social media accounts), stay off the accounts for a while. Depending on the situation, you might also tell your crush not to contact you for awhile or block/delete/unfriend/unfollow/mute them or just ignore them.

5) Focus on doing something enjoyable and good for you that gets you out among other people, especially new people. Join a group, sign up for a class, or volunteer in your community so you can be among others. Build your skills and re-build your self-esteem. FLIRT.

6) Because the best revenge is being happy, amp up your game by getting a new hairstyle or updating your style. This will attract attention. Work on being the most positive person you know. This will draw people to you. Soon, you'll see that you have a new love interest.

I hope these ideas help and you don't take this rejection to heart.

The worst thing to do is refuse to talk about it, pretend it's not a problem, and allowing jealous competition over a crush to fester underground. Instead, talk openly with your friend about your mutual interest in the same crush and come to an agreement. It could be that one of you agrees to stand down, or you both agree to simultaneously go for it (especially if neither stands much of a chance). You could both drop the crush in the interest of the friendship, or let the crush decide who they like better (if either). Be open about your feelings. There will be other types of conflict, and this crush is likely one among many. How you handle this situation is essential in molding your friendship.

Your friends may be paying attention to signals that you refuse to see. However, you'll never truly know if he likes you until you take a chance. Rather than ask him out, why not try to get closer to him and develop a friendship? Why not try to flirt and see if he returns your interest? If your attempts at flirting and reaching out to him over social media fall flat, you'll know he's just not interested in you in that way.

It sounds like your crush has an equal and opposite crush on you. The young man is giving you his jacket to wear. They don't do that unless they care. He's flirting, and you say he's your best friend, so wait for a quiet time alone with him and tell him you have a confession to make. People love confessions. You can say, "I miss you" or "I'm not over you" or "I still have feelings for you" or "I wish we never broke up." Whatever feels right. Sometimes in life, you need to go for it, and this is one of them. All signs are there. And don't do this via text or FaceTime! It MUST be done in person!

That's so romantic and refreshing to hear. You need to follow up on this potential love connection. Here are two options:

1) Luckily, you have a mutual friend. Talk to him or her about Mr. Snuggles. Ask whether he's mentioned you since, whether he's seeing someone (let's hope not!), if this is his normal behavior, how you should interpret the night's events, etc. You might even ask for your mutual friend's help in getting you two together again.

2) Contact your snuggly fella and ask him if he cuddles like that with every girl he meets or was there something special going on between you? You might joke with him about whether he was feeling especially cold and that's why he was snuggling with you or was it some other reason? Tell him you enjoyed your conversation and you wish you could have stayed longer to talk more with him. Suggest that maybe you could continue the conversation over coffee or pizza sometime.

Good luck, and let us know how this works out by leaving a follow-up comment in the Comments Section of the playlist.

Since he seems to be playing shy, why don't you go a little bolder with the following approach? When it's just you and him, tell him that you heard he didn't have a girlfriend and didn't like ANYBODY. Tell him that's hard to believe because there are a lot of girls in this world and he's a great guy, and if -- just IF he were going to crush on someone what qualities would she have? (e.g., smart, pretty, sincere, etc.) After he's done, say that you have those qualities (name them) and you thought we had good chemistry. I was hoping you liked me. I just had to ask. Thanks for clearing it up! That should make him come clean in a big way if he's going to ever confess.

As long as he is giving you positive signals (e.g., listening, smiling, leaning in, adding to the conversation), you don't need to stop trying to get to know him better. While it's possible he doesn't like you, he may be shy. However, as long as you're doing the work to connect, there may be little to motivate him to try. Continue to pay close attention to his body language. Flirt and see if he flirts back.

Eventually, however, there will come a point at which he will need to initiate some interest himself. I'd say give it a couple more conversations. Then if he doesn't show some initiative and IF you're still interested, consider asking him playfully if he enjoys talking to you. If he says yes, then playfully ask why he's never the one to start the conversation. Then be silent and wait for the response. If necessary, reiterate, "If you like talking to me, then why don't you be the one to start up the conversation sometimes."

A couple of ideas include the following:

1) Be bold and go up and introduce yourself.

2) Get a mutual friend or acquaintance to introduce you, whether in person or online.

3) Join a club or group that he's a part of, or if you're already in a class, group, or club, make sure you're sitting next to him or working on the same team or project he is.

4) If you know his schedule, make sure you're where he tends to go so you can conveniently run into him and make small talk.

Hope these ideas help.

She has put her feelings out there in a clear way with both the poetry and song, realizing that the trip has a clear end. If you feel the same, time is short so what's stopping you? Express yourself. To hold your feelings in means rejection for her.

Think about how you would feel if you had a boyfriend and some other girl expressed feelings for him, knowing he isn't available. It wouldn't feel too great, would it? Not all crushes are meant to be shared just because we feel the need. We must always consider the broader context as well as what we need. Therefore, the most one should really ever say is "if you were ever single, then (mention dating and your availability)." Proceed with caution.

You don't know enough about him to truly love him, however, you're crushing pretty hard on someone you realize doesn't share your feelings. (Hey, we've all been there, so don't feel bad.)

Rather than confess to him your deep feelings, listen to that inner voice that is saying "hold on here!"

Work on controlling what you can by making YOU the happiest, best version of yourself. This may or may not prompt him to notice (and that is okay if he doesn't!), but there are two benefits: 1) you become a happier, more confident, better person for your good, and 2) you'll begin to see that other guys take notice of your self-confidence.

If you want to also work on trying to become just friends with him, then that's fine. However, I wouldn't make it my focus. You already know he doesn't return your feelings.

Before you embark on a new love relationship, it's important to be free of past emotional baggage so you don't doom the new relationship to failure. That requires an open and honest conversation.

There must be reasons you have questions about your love interest's ability to move on from his ex. For example, does he reminisce about his ex too much? Does he still communicate with her in person, via phone, social media, etc.? Does he still display photos and memorabilia from their relationship?

Find a quiet time and place when you're not in conflict and tell him you need to talk to him about something important, and you need him to be candid. Describe the signs you see (why you fear he hasn't moved on). Inquire why they broke up, how long they were together, and who broke up with whom. Ask him if he's over her and ready for a new relationship and explain why this is important to you.

It's normal sometimes to take awhile to get over a relationship before you begin a new one, especially if someone has cheated on you or betrayed your trust in some way.

This is a juvenile acting young man who enjoys playing games. Give him a deck of cards and tell him if he wants to play games, you can do that too, but if he likes you, just say so. Pretending to have a big secret, telling your friend he likes you and sending you away, rejecting you, and now hanging out with you all the time -- that's mixed messages. No wonder you're confused. I think he is attracted to you, but he is immature and doesn't have a good grasp on how to express it. You're going to have to be the adult in the relationship if you want to pursue this.

Rather than question whether you deserve this person, listen to "everyone" and make a move to get a direct conversation going with him. Cut out the "middle men" in your flirtation and you'll know for sure how he feels.

You say that there were rumors of him cheating, but you don’t specify whether he actually did cheat. Can you discuss that sensibly with him now without accusations? Would he admit it to you now if he did cheat? Can you both describe what you’d do differently to make this dating experience more positive? How do you both intend to handle people who do not approve of your relationship?

If he cheated then, I’d be concerned that he would repeat the behavior unless he is remorseful and could truly demonstrate that he has learned something significant from the experience. He should also, of course, show empathy for the violation of your trust. If, however, he did not actually cheat on you, then false rumors have kept you apart for too long. You need honest answers, and I hope he provides them.

You cannot live your life for fear of what other people will think of your decisions. Make your choice, and if you are going to date him again, slowly integrate him back into your life. Don’t hide your rekindled relationship. Be candid and listen to others’ concerns but let them know you’ve got this. Perhaps it’ll be a mistake but this is a mistake for YOU to make. Lovingly tell family members you appreciate their concern but to back off.

When your crush leaves you on "read," it could mean a variety of things:

1) they were busy or distracted

2) they didn't think your text needed a reply or didn't want to take that specific conversation forward (not a topic they were interested in, bored with what you were talking about, they had nothing interesting to contribute, they felt awkward and froze up/didn't know how to respond)

3) they wanted to slow down the communication exchange between you. You may be more enthusiastic about them than they are about you, for example.

To know more about which one this is, consider the overall pattern. Is the nonresponsiveness just a time or two, or is this the way they regularly treat you? How do they treat you in person? If they are actively engaged in talking with you in person, seeking you out to sit beside, making frequent eye contact with you, etc., then that's very different treatment from a crush who avoids you in person and has little to say. In the first example, I'd attribute failing to reply to your texts to being distracted or busy, but in the second example I'd say the crush is not all that interested. Rely on in-person treatment and how much THEY initiate contact with you, both in person and via text.

If this treatment continues, no matter why they're behaving this way, you should either direct your attention elsewhere or discuss it with them. It's the equivalent of ignoring you when you're talking to them.

While it's unfortunate that your romance didn't work out, there's no reason that you have to stop being friends. It was unkind of you to break up with him over text, and you owe him an apology for that and for treating him like a stranger, assuming he did nothing terribly offensive. You don't have to offer a soul-bearing apology but do it in person. Just be a good person and treat your friend well. Tell him you want to repair the friendship and be clear that's all you're after. I'm glad that you are doing this. It's a sign of maturity and decency.

I trust that others see signs in his behavior that he already likes you. Additionally, you've tried unsuccessfully to get his attention. Therefore, do something a little unconventional. When he's by himself (or at least with few others), position yourself nearby and cross your arms. Smile big and wait for him to say something to you. I'd also add taking along a bag of Hershey's Kisses and occasionally tossing one his way (yes, AT him playfully if you need to). Eventually, he's going to say something, even if it's, "What are you doing?" Then you can tell him that you've been trying to get his attention for weeks now and just wanted to talk to him, but he's been ignoring you, so you had to go to desperate measures.

Your parents have a low level of trust for some reason. A natural reaction would be to become defensive and angry but rather than do that; it's more productive to go into problem-solving mode. It would be beneficial if you can work to get to the bottom of WHY they feel the way they do. For example:

1) Is there someone in the family who experienced a teenage pregnancy and they fear your fate will be the same?

2) Are you an only or first child and they feel confused about how to handle your emerging independence?

3) Have you made some poor choices in the past that cause them to question your judgment when it comes to boys?

4) Is there something about the boy that is particularly objectionable? Do they need to get to meet him or get to know him better?

5) Is there an alternative location where they would trust you and your crush to hang out together unattended after school for a couple of hours, such as the local mall, public library, or a favorite teen fast food restaurant? (Be ready to supply ideas.)

It would be helpful for you to have a calm discussion with them to find out what you can do to show them you're interested in companionship and hanging out with your crush outside of school rather than sex. Your challenge is to keep it calm and nonreactive.

Your objective should be to listen to their feelings and perspective and to explain yours. Communication and patience with them even though they seem unreasonable will get you through this.

You need to take your crush at his word. If he prefers someone else, it's probably true. If he were actually lying about it, why would you want such a person anyway? That's messed up.

First, never send a friend as your messenger or intermediary. You don't know exactly what their message is, how it's delivered, or how to interpret the response through their perceptual filter. Why? Because you were not there! While it's a convenient, face-saving method of communicating with the target of your affections, you convey and receive information second-hand and that's not very useful. There's not much you can do about your friend's communication one month ago, however enough time has transpired to re-telegraph the message and look for clarity.

Work at getting closer to him. See if you can talk more with him, especially alone. Give him small compliments, smile, and stand close to him. See how he responds to your flirting. Does he back away or lean in? Does he seem excited or annoyed by the compliments and breaching of his personal space? If he reciprocates your flirting, then ramp up your efforts. Tell him he's special and you have a crush on him. Your group of friends is trying to be helpful but the group approach tells you nothing here. If your crush doesn't respond in one or two attempts, leave him alone because his answer is no.

However, I hope that's not the case. Good luck to you!

The hard part, confessing your feelings for one another, is over, and the good thing is it's mutual. That's wonderful! Now there's some awkwardness about what's next.

I don't know why you wouldn't want to discuss it. Yes, it's awkward, but it's much less stressful in the long run to just get things out in the open. You could ask about going to see a movie or doing something else together, and when they agree, inquire playfully whether this is a friend date or a real date?

Or, you could start holding their hand and making other lovey moves that a girlfriend or boyfriend would make. Start treating them like a boyfriend or girlfriend and see if it is reciprocated. For example, send them small gifts or flirty texts, spend more time alone, or make a playlist for them or a card. Unless they've had a change of heart, this will get things rolling.

Since you've already been flirting with one another and you know she is both bisexual and available, then you can gauge her interest in you by asking her out on "friend dates." Instead of going out with the rest of the group, try to make it just you two, doing something fun together where you can talk, make your own memories, and flirt some more.

Do this a couple times and you'll likely have the opportunity to hold hands and get physically closer. That will tell you if she's receptive to you as a romantic partner.

During these friend dates, you can also:

1) tell her that you like it when it's just you two

2) compliment her and share with her what you enjoy about her

3) ask more about her love life and what she wants in life

4) find out how she feels about dating you, and

5) if it's going well, invite her on a romantic date instead of a "friend" date.

Don't shy away from opportunities because they are awkward. Life is awkward. If she's flirting with you, she may be feeling exactly the same things you are.

But even if you get rejected, it's not the end of the world. Really. Life does go on. You don't want to be wondering "what if" 10 or 20 years down the road, do you?

You have a right to be confused because he's sending mixed signals, but I'd bet he's a bit confused as well. After all, you did say you "might" miss him.

Perhaps any (or none!) of the following are true:

1) he likes both of you

2) you weren't meant to see his interaction with the other girl,

3) he likes you but he's trying to make you a little jealous

4) maybe he's a very sociable or "touchy" person and the other co-worker is just a good friend (although I'd suggest it's not appropriate to massage another person's shoulders in the workplace).

The next time he flirts with you ask a question back to him as your answer. For example, if he says, "Are you going to miss me?" you can ask, "If I said 'yes,' what would that mean to you?" Hopefully, this will encourage him to be more forthright about how he feels about you. If you're not comfortable doing that, when he chats you up next time and you have to cut the conversation short, say that you hate to go but you'd love to talk more with him, maybe over lunch sometime. That's dropping a big hint. If he doesn't get it, do it again or ask him to lunch. Also, you can always ask what his relationship is with the coworker. Don't let this guy give you mixed signals if you like him. Call him on it but also be honest about how you feel.

Wishing you the best. It sounds like you're both just anxious and testing the waters.

You've shared how you feel, and unfortunately, you can't make someone like you in return. Sometimes all the "reasons" are there but the chemistry is not for a reason that cannot be described. You need to let it go and get some distance from him. Let your friend know the situation so if their relationship develops she can be sensitive about it and doesn't unknowingly rub it in your face. We've all been disappointed by unreturned affection, and it does hurt.

Since you've agreed to talk as friends, ask yourself whether you'd get this worked up about conversation topics with other friends. Friends often talk about mundane aspects of their lives -- what's going on in their family, school, and social lives. Start there. Learn the art of open-ended questions and follow-up questions. Build on what he says by offering related information about your own life. Genuinely listen to him. So few people actually listen these days. Don't forget though that he did say he doesn't share your romantic feelings, so respect his feelings.

It sounds like you and your crush are quite young and you are more mature than he is. The fact that he asked you what was wrong when you were crying shows he does have empathy. Therefore, try talking to him. Tell him that his behavior confuses you -- he's sending mixed signals. Ask him how he feels about you. Encourage the young man to be a first among peers to step up and acknowledge that yes, he likes you. He may prefer to be with his friends sometimes and that's okay, but he should be more genuine and own his feelings towards you.

The relationship will naturally unfold as he figures out how to let you know that he has a crush on you. You can either let that happen or make it easy for him by asking him directly. He may not be ready for such a blunt question. However, if you're a very direct person, he should get used to this communication style. If the moment arises and you feel like asking him, do it.

Having a crush on someone from a distance is okay. That doesn't mean you have to act on it. The facts are this: You know he has a girlfriend already, so if he's looking elsewhere to cheat on her that makes him quite a cheating skunk. You don't want that, do you?

Also, you aren't friends, and with both of you going to different schools there are probably not a lot of opportunities to start a friendship with him right now.

Even more than those points--and this is based on my personal experience when I was a teen--I'd be concerned if there's more than a two-year age/grade gap. Sometimes even two years is too much. The differences in what middle schoolers and high schoolers expect of a girlfriend or boyfriend are dramatically different. How they interact, what they talk about and care about, and what they've experienced already in life and in dating can be SO different. Don't underestimate that. It's a time of rapid change and maturity.

Stick to guys your age/grade or one year older who you have some commonality with (e.g., you're already friends or acquaintances, classmates, teammates, live in the same neighborhood, know one another from church or other groups). These people are more accessible.

In the meantime, it's fine to dream about him occasionally. Dreaming doesn't hurt anyone. Just don't obsess over someone who is taken, inaccessible, and maybe not the best choice for you.

Your challenge is to get her to see you as someone who is date-worthy. You didn't include enough information about why she may think you're joking. Does she think one of you is out of the other's league? Are you friends who joke around frequently?

Try to talk with her more about what she likes, her feelings, opinions, ideas, what she wants in life, and share the same information about yourself. Hang out together so you can develop some common experiences and see if there's a mutual spark there. Find out what she's looking for in a boyfriend. After a while of getting to know one another better, check back with her to see if she's interested in going out.

Three years is a long time to wait to tell someone you like them, and the only way you'll know is if you take a chance. It's much better to experience a little awkwardness and risk rejection than to never know. Be honest with her that you don't want to risk your friendship. Describe what you value about the current relationship you have with her. Who knows? She may be harboring a crush on you too.

If he already knows you like him, the ball is now in his court to respond -- if he feels the same. Still, some people are shy. (I assume you know already whether he's single and straight.) Here are a couple of ways to figure out how he feels while you're waiting for him to potentially express his feelings for you.

1) Try flirting with him and evaluate how he responds. If there's no flirting back, that's your answer.

2) Invite him to have lunch or do something casual with you or with you and a group of mutual friends, and see if he accepts. It's a good sign if he chooses to spend more alone time with you separate from friends or at least if he chooses to sit next to you.

3) See if he'll connect with you on social media. Pay attention to whether he initiates contact rather than you always being the one to do so.

4) Amp up your game a little (hairstyle, nails, attire or whatever) and see if he notices and pays you any compliments.

5) Simply ask him about his dating life in conversation. Ask whether he had a good weekend, what kind of fun things he did over the weekend, then ask if he's seeing anyone. If he says yes, tell him, you didn't know that, but she's a lucky girl. If he says no, playfully ask if there's something that's stopping him from asking you out. That's good and direct and should get you your answer.

6) Ask a friend of his who will speak openly with you who your crush is interested in. Share your problem and ask your friend for any insight into how your crush feels. Be ready for whatever information you share to go straight to your crush. This may be an easier option if you think he's not into you and just want to confirm it.

Whatever option you choose, do pay attention to the cues that you crush gives you. If he doesn't flirt back, rejects offers to connect on social media or doesn't respond, those are huge giveaways. If he ignores you and makes you feel like you're chasing him, you probably are. There are plenty of guys who aren't so high maintenance if that is the case.

I wish you the best of luck. Leave us a follow-up note in the Comments Section of the playlist article to let us know what happened and how it all worked out.

It wasn't appropriate for your friend to step forward and talk with him. Sometimes crushes are never meant to be expressed (like when someone is much older, attached, or in a job role that prevents you from dating). Regardless, it's your prerogative to decide when to disclose your crush, if at all.

Now that your secret is out, however, don't be ashamed. By avoiding him and acting all embarrassed, you call even more attention to yourself. Pretend like your skin is really thick and go about your work professionally as if it didn't happen -- until you can talk to him (hopefully very soon). You can do this. If you need to work with him or communicate with him, do so as normal. If you need to pass by his workstation, don't go a long way around, so you don't have to run into him. It's only as awkward as you make it.

Soon, when the opportunity arises, and the two of you are alone, briefly say, "Jane told me she let it slip that I said you were cute. I'm sorry about that. I feel awkward about it and don't want it to ruin our good work relationship. I hope you can look past it." Then, shake his hand. Remember that LESS IS MORE when it comes to this acknowledgment. Also, note that it doesn't matter if your friend told him a lot more information than you think he's cute. She probably did. You just want to get the general issue out on the table, not delve into details.

If he does like you back and he's single, this is his chance to take the conversation further, flirt, and express how he feels in return. If he doesn't feel the same, you've re-established a working relationship with him and acknowledged that you're aware your friend revealed your crush to him. The handshake re-establishes professionalism between you.

Just remind yourself that it's a compliment when someone has a crush on another person. Even if he doesn't return your romantic feelings, you've paid him a compliment. You'll be okay. I promise. From now on, be careful what you disclose to that friend, however. Her judgment doesn't reflect your own.

There's nothing wrong with telling someone that you have an interest in them. If they don't share that interest, it'll feel awkward for a bit, but the world will NOT end. Besides, either way, you'll have some practice for the next time you want to tell someone you like them.

Take a chance. A few options for sharing your feelings include:

1) friend him on social media then message him or send him a song that communicates what you want to say

2) write him a note

3) start sitting with him at lunch or another time when you can talk privately

Keep in mind that complimenting him, smiling at him, and maintaining eye contact will communicate your interest. See if he returns your attention. If so, you can say something as simple as "I think you're a special guy, John" or "You're awesome, John."

Yes, this is a crush, but since you didn’t exchange contact information you now have two choices: 1) let him be a happy memory and turn your attention to the future or 2) try to track him down by contacting the event coordinator, if possible. Word to the wise: if there’s an inkling you’d ever want to stay in touch, exchange contact information and a photo. You don’t have to contact the person, but at least you have their information.

You say you know you cannot be together romantically. Are both of you 100% certain this is true and will always be the case? Many people manage to make love work even though they are different religions.

If it's truly the case that you cannot be together, then agree to settle for a "special friend" status and keep in touch with one another. Make sure you have revealed your true feelings to one another before he leaves so there is nothing left unsaid between you. Both of you should resolve to date other people and go about the rest of your lives, sharing intermittent updates with one another about what's going on with yourselves personally (and romantically). This is better than wondering what happened to him.

Ultimately, if you are both choosing your religion over one another you'll need to seek comfort in your religion for your unhappiness. Stay active so you don't ruminate over him leaving. Express yourself in writing, art, or through talking to friends -- whatever soothes you -- and try to focus on your own future rather than the past.

While it's honorable of you to try to obey this girl code, you might be limiting yourself unnecessarily since they aren't in a committed relationship, you're not doing anything intentional out of malice to come between them, and she's not your good friend. You just happen to have a crush on the same guy. She's not his girlfriend, and guys can make up their own minds about who they are attracted to! Be sensitive about it, but full speed ahead with your crush! Let him figure out who he's into.

It would be helpful if you could be open with your friend about your feelings for them so you could see whether they share your romantic attraction. Is it one-sided or mutual? That discussion will help you determine whether you should pursue a romantic relationship together. Assuming this is a mutual attraction, go with your heart. Be kind but direct with any breakup and do not delay.

I suspect that this emotional experience has given you important perspective. You may now realize on some level that perhaps your girlfriend is just a "placeholder" until someone more fitting comes along. Your attraction to your friend shows you that. Even if you and your friend don’t pursue a romantic relationship together, let the girlfriend go. She deserves to find love just as you do.

By asking for his friend's number, you communicated to your crush that you like his friend or at the very least were trying to make him jealous. Maybe that wasn't your intent, but a reasonable person could assume that. However, in your defense, your crush knew you liked him and what was he doing about it? Was he stepping up to say that he liked you too? Love doesn't usually favor the timid.

You're letting your nerves get the best of you which is common when you have a crush. You can find yourself tongue-tied. You might freeze up, worrying about saying or doing something silly. You may become all self-conscious and focus more on what you're saying or doing instead of concentrating on the other person and the moment.

Take a breath. The world will not end if you make a mistake. I promise. Think of this as practice in gaining interaction skills with people you are attracted to. To ensure that you get this practice, try to get closer to your crush. See if you can sit next to them in a classroom, for example, or adjust your daily schedule so that you run into them more often.

Listen carefully to what your crush is saying instead of thinking about what you will say next. Respond naturally and smile. Don't feel obligated to fill up every second of silence with noise. Use one topic to build on another. Ask open-ended questions, especially if you don't know what else to say. Or start with what you have in common. For example, what did they do this weekend/what are they planning this weekend, what's their opinion of x, etc. This especially works if you can then volunteer some related information about yourself. Suddenly you have a conversation going! Practice becoming better at conversations by paying closer attention when you're talking to your friends and others. You build off what each person says, right? Your crush is just another person, not larger than life.

Become good at asking questions and listening to the answers and you'll be seen as an excellent conversationalist. People love to talk about themselves, plus you obviously want to know more about your crush. This is a matter of practice, so perhaps start with texting even though that makes you nervous right now. Take a deep breath and don't overthink it. Your crush is just a person like you are.

When I was a shy teen, my mother knew I had a crush on a grocery store bagger but she stopped by the grocery store anyway and made me purchase maxi pads in his line. He blushed as he bagged them and I brushed it off, saying, "They're for my mother. She made me come in and buy them even though she knew I like you." He smiled very broadly and gave me a call later. I had liked him for two years with no luck. Sometimes you just have to go with the moment instead of overthinking it. If I could get through that, you can build up your confidence in talking with your crush!

For the sake of your friendship, you need to have a conversation with your friend and come to an agreement. Let her know that you are attracted to the same guy and don't want your friendship to be damaged by your mutual interest in him. Options include:

1) one of you agrees to step back for the sake of the friendship and let the other try to win his affections;

2) both of you agree that to stop your pursuits of him;

3) both agree to flirt with him and see who he likes, as it may be one of you, both, or neither one.

The more important this friendship is to you, the more important it is to have the conversation early and to agree on a plan.

Look for signs first that she returns your attraction. Ask yourself a few questions. When you flirt, does she flirt back? Does she come talk to you as well as vice versa? Does she disclose personal information about herself rather than simply talking business? Do you and she choose to spend free time alone at work (e.g., eating lunch together, taking breaks together)? Do you have contact with one another outside of work as friends?

If not, you might work on developing your relationship outside of work through texting, social media, phone calls, going out with a group of work friends, etc. before revealing your feelings. If this step goes well, it'll make revealing your feelings pretty easy and more naturally segue to a date. Just be sure to pay attention to her cues as you go along.

Also, you probably should check your company's policy on dating in the workplace to be sure it's permitted. You can certainly find a great partner at work, but there are also downsides and risks you should be aware of. The following article shares these as well as useful HR tips to employees before dating a colleague: "Can You Find Love and Romance in the Workplace?"

https://toughnickel.com/business/Can-You-Find-Love... .

He's already looking at you -- because he's intrigued, not because you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe or anything. Be confident! His staring has happened more than once, throughout different contexts right? If so, then you've caught his eye. He probably is trying to figure out how to talk to YOU but doesn't know how. Help him out. When he looks your way next time, don't look down or look away. Instead, lock eyes and SMILE. Do it until you are both more comfortable. He should be returning your smiles. You can even do a small wave from across the room at some point, then work up to one of you approaching the other and simply introducing yourselves.

If you don't like that idea and are confident enough to skip straight to the introduction, remember to look your best, smile big, and pick a situation in which you don't have an audience (i.e., friends or others around to interfere). Shake his hand and say, "Hello, I'm Jane. I've noticed you looking at me a couple of times, and I thought I'd introduce myself." You can ask him open-ended questions such as

"So were you staring because I had spinach in my teeth, did you think I was kinda cute, or something else?"

"Tell me a little bit about you."

When he's talking, intently LISTEN instead of thinking what you'll say next. Few people know how to do that these days, and the feeling of being listened to is very attractive. I hope this gets you closer to where you want to be.

You and your best friend are interested in the same guy, but you both need to determine first what is more important to you: your friendship or this guy? Someone will very likely get their feelings hurt if one or both of you pursue him. Who does he like -- assuming he likes either one of you? Ultimately, HE has a big say in this. Who does he seem to flirt with, if either one of you? Who does he share more in common with? Are you both sure you want to pursue a guy when you'll feel awkward about sharing all the details with your female friend about him -- conversations, kisses, breakups, texts, photos -- knowing that she's not completely in your corner? If it were me, I'd make a decision with my friend that one of us was going to stand down on this one and take one for the team. Chances are, this could come up again between you two.

Think about how you would feel if someone else came on to your boyfriend. The most honorable thing to do would be to wait until he was single again. You might get away with telling him that WHEN he's single again, to let you know.

This is more of an issue of coming out to your family than having a crush on this particular person. Being a teenager, you're exploring your sexual identity, but some families are much more welcoming of non-heterosexual relationships and identities than others. Only you know the right time and method for sharing this information about yourself with your mother. Only you can truly gauge whether she's the one to start with. Would you rather that your mother find out from someone else? Is a sibling or other family member potentially supportive and trustworthy -- someone you can talk to about how and when to come out? Can you have some preliminary conversations with your mom about "what if" ... just to see where she stands on bisexuality, homosexuality, gender issues, and other important issues? Try to keep the lines of communication with her OPEN and avoid labels like pansexual because people get way too focused on a label rather than the person. The key is "non-heterosexual" and can she at least be tolerant, if not accepting and supportive of you"?

As for your crush, yes, you might consider telling her now. However, you may want to decide in advance whether you are comfortable with this being an "out" dating relationship (provided that she likes you as well). She may not be comfortable being someone's secret, as she is in a different place with her sexual identity and coming out than you are. You may have to respect that. Even if that's the case, she could help you as a friend as you struggle with the identity issues. Listening is a powerful thing.

You won't be able to hide this from your family forever. How and when you share it with them is your choice.

You seem to be more mature than your peers. They probably have similar feelings emerging about other people their age but don't know what to do with those feelings, so they make fun of someone who is braver than them. At the next dance and conversation, tell your crush that you are glad he always asks you to dance. Explain to him how it feels being made fun of by his brothers and friends. You may be surprised that he is also possibly being taunted by them! Ask him if they tease him too. You can also ask him why they make fun of you and what he thinks of you. If you don't feel comfortable telling him you have a crush on him, just say that you look forward to dancing with him.

Be assured that the older you get, the easier this situation will become for you. At some point, crushes go from being embarrassing things you want to hide and tease friends and siblings about to nearly all you can think and talk about.

You said your love interest "also" likes your best friend who is male. Do you know for sure that she is bisexual and likes you in return? Consider discussing it with her. Also, ask about how she feels your male friend and what she wants in a relationship.

Clarify with your male friend, too, how he feels about your love interest. If he only likes her as a friend, there's no conflict. However, if there's a two-way attraction between you and her and she and him, then there's a conflict brewing over the same girl.

Usually, when two friends like the same person, one agrees to stand down and let the other pursue the relationship. They do this in the interest of the overall friendship. Maybe you want to have that conversation with your male friend if he is also attracted to her. Agree on a solution, whether that's

1) letting one of you pursue the relationship with her

2) both of you casually dating her and letting her decide between you or seeing where things lead or

3) agreeing that neither of you should date her because it would ruin the friendship among the three of you.

If one of you ends up dating her, be respectful of showing any public displays of affection and sharing details regarding the romance. Good luck solving the dilemma. Give us an update letting us know what happened by writing a follow-up comment in the Comments Section of the playlist.

Rather than pour out your feelings -- I don't know how much you want to tell him -- keep it simple by telling him that he's special, he's cute, or you have a crush on him. A fun way to tell him is to ask him if he can keep a secret. Then tell him you think you have a crush on him.

He's already talking to you a lot, staring, and gently teasing you. Those are signs he likes you. Go for it.

There's nothing wrong with branching out and learning the basics of the sport (vocabulary, team positions, how the game is played and scored, etc.) so you can be a decent conversationalist. There is always a benefit in having a foundational knowledge about a variety of topics -- even those that actually do not interest you personally. You never know when that knowledge can be of good use! Beyond the basics, you can him ask questions and watch his games. He'll probably be more than interested in explaining.

In your eagerness to get close to him, however, don't forget that YOU have interests as well. He may be crazy about baseball, but if at some point he doesn't seem to want to talk about anything else (such as what else is going on in his life, YOUR hobbies or your thoughts and feelings), consider benching him.

His reason for breaking up with you is one of the oldest in the world. I'm sorry, but it wasn't about love for him. He was just trying to manipulate you into giving him sexual satisfaction, and your feelings didn't matter at all. You could have been any girl. That's why he ignores you. It happened when I was a teen, it happens now, and it will happen when you are my age.

If you get back together with this emotional numbnuts, it's likely because he thinks you have changed your mind about the "giving him what he wants." You are worth SO MUCH MORE than this, sweet girl! Wait to find someone who will give you all his heart and shout that he loves you from the rooftops. Yes, they are out there!

You may truly believe you miss the guy you dated, but I think it's the idea of having a steady boyfriend and being loved. Love yourself first and foremost. It hurts like hell to be rejected and used in the way he used you, but LEARN from it. Don't go back for seconds -- please. This guy will make you bitter if you let him. Instead, pour all of your energy into making yourself the happiest, badass-est version of YOU that is possible so that you can move on and find someone who will value what's in your heart and between your ears as much as between your legs. You're worth giving him the cold shoulder.

Getting to know your crush better requires that you be around him more, so arrange to sit near him in classes, if possible. Chat with him between classes, try to eat lunch with him, and try to connect with him on social media. Be friends first and see how he responds to flirting. Usually, people aren't ready for other relationships right after they've broken up with someone else, but by taking it friends first, then flirting and watching his cues, you stand a better chance.

First, tell your best friend that she had no business doing that. She may have thought she was doing you a favor, but your feelings for this guy was not her information to share. Think carefully before trusting her with additional secrets. Ask her what she said to him, and the context (e.g., what were the circumstances, did he have an audience?). There's a difference, for example, in "Jane has a crush on you,"

and "Jane has the hots for you real bad." You'll also want to know honestly whether he gave any response.

Second, he's probably either embarrassed for some reason, or he does not feel the same way. Don't treat him any differently and tell your friend you'll take it from here. When the opportunity presents itself, mention to him that you understand your friend spilled the beans about your crush on him. You could say you're sorry if it embarrassed him, then talk about it to the extent both of you feel comfortable.

That's a lot of on and off dating. Move on to someone else. You're going to relive old patterns of conflict and make it 8 times. Be friends with her but look for love elsewhere. Romance is just not meant to be for you two.

People have what we call psychological boundaries which are relationship expectations, limits, beliefs, values, etc. It's how we regulate ourselves and our emotional distance from other people. Ideally, we have healthy emotional boundaries separating ourselves from others. However, sometimes, our emotional boundaries are fuzzy, unhealthy, and need clarifying. Other people may step in and try to manipulate our feelings or ideas through flattery or other methods. They attempt to impose their own values, beliefs, needs, etc. because it gives them what they want. (In this case, I think ultimately it's sex he wants from you, but he'll settle for sexy flirtation right now.) Unhealthy boundaries -- this is your situation.

Having a crush on someone who is inaccessible -- a teacher, coach, boss, person who is married, a celebrity, or in this case, a friend's father -- this sometimes happens, especially to teens who are new to raging hormones. People can't always help who they find attractive BUT they don't have to act on it or tell that person. You may not have actually told him, but your behavior might have telegraphed it. I'm not giving you a free pass, but honestly, he was the adult in this situation and it was incumbent upon him to respond appropriately even if you behaved in a flirty manner. (I am guessing you're an older teen?)

You already know there's something deeply inappropriate -- I would add DISTURBING -- about this relationship for several reasons:

1) he's married and yet flirting with you

2) he's your friend's dad (What is her reaction to all of this?)

3) most importantly, he's SIGNIFICANTLY older than you. If you're under age, he may be flirting with serious legal jeopardy should he actually make a move on a minor (i.e., a CHILD under the law). Just flirting with you like this isn't appropriate but doing more than flirting could end him up in jail and on a predator's list for life.

4) he's seemingly jealous of your boyfriend and jokes about his ability to inflict violence. This "caveman" type comment both confused you and at least made you think twice. I suspect that you couldn't share the conversations you have with your friend's father with others, such as his wife, your parents, your boyfriend, etc. Secrets are trouble.

5) he's teasing about drinking and if you are under age, then that's contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Alcohol reduces social inhibitions. Do not under ANY circumstances drink with him.

My short answer is no, this is NOT all in your head. Find a way not to have these one-on-one conversations with him or be around him at all preferably. It would be ideal if you could be honest with your friend about her creepy dad and agree to go elsewhere. I wouldn't be shocked if your friend's parents had ongoing marital troubles and her dad had a longstanding alcohol problem. Don't underestimate the level of potential danger this man could pose to you in the wrong situation. Men who like young girls are bad news. Draw those boundaries.

The fact that you say he "forced" you to tell him who you liked and now doesn't talk to you in person anymore suggests to me that his social skills are probably poor. This isn't uncommon, especially these days when there's such an emphasis on social media. He may be more comfortable with texting rather than talking face-to-face, but 1) texting is only one method of communication, and 2) he's not the only person in your relationship who matters.

Stand up for what you want. Insist that you spend time together (and make him silence that phone while he's with you). Talk about things that matter personally. Hold hands. That's not something you can do over the phone, right? You may have to lead the conversation at first. Get good at asking questions and listening to the answers.

You may also consider a fun get-to-know-you game asking one another fun questions. You should come prepared with slips of a jar or envelope of maybe 25-50 folded slips of paper with questions written on them. Then take turns drawing one, reading them and answering them. You can get ideas for fun and appropriate questions online. Let the conversation lead you where it will. Insist on playing this game only in person so you can look at one another, smile, hold hands and gauge each others' reactions when you're answering. With encouragement and practice, he will see that being in one another's physical company is much more fun than reading what someone types.

Let me point out the obvious first: it sounds like you are a teen. You are each struggling with the normal challenges of

1) negotiating changes to your social life

2) navigating the world of dating and

3) trying to figure out who you are becoming.

It’s natural to be somewhat different around different groups of people. We all do it. You probably behave differently around the guys compared to when you’re with her, if you’re honest with yourself. For example, you’re probably louder, your language is coarser, and you’re probably more physical with your male friends (e.g., playful shoving and pushing).

It’s also natural to “try on” different sides of oneself as a teen tries to figure out exactly where they fit on a femininity (or masculinity) spectrum. The truth is that perhaps she is BOTH of what you have witnessed; perhaps she enjoys being a “girly girl” sometimes, especially around certain friends, but also enjoys the sincere, sensitive, one-on-one conversation with you. Cut her some slack. Realize that you do it too. Take a risk and ask her out.

You've already communicated your feelings for him. Unfortunately, he does not share them. Therefore, you're going to have to respect "no" as his answer as much as that hurts. We've all experienced the pain of rejection, and you will be okay. Turn your attention to the guys you interact with regularly who treat you respectfully and show a personal interest in you. While it's nice to dream about those who are out of your league, a more realistic and satisfying prospect is a classmate or friend who shares common interests and treats you well.

You have the hard part out of the way (figuring out whether your crush is mutual). The next step is to approach her and start talking. Use lots of eye contact and smiling. You could start with a flirty comment such as, “A little birdy told me you have a crush on me. Is that true?” Wait for her response, but understand that she may be embarrassed. Tell her outright that you have a little crush on her as well, so she knows the admiration is mutual. It’s okay to admit that you’ve wanted to talk to her but were a little nervous.

Talk to her like a friend. Ask questions about her life and what she is interested in. Share what’s important in your life as well as your feelings. Don’t worry about impressing her. Just be authentically you because she likes you already and wants to know more! Chat frequently, send her texts, give her sincere compliments, sincerely listen to her, and sit near her when you can. Take it slowly, but those are your next steps.

While none of us can make someone like us back, you can increase your chances while also maximizing your opportunities for happiness with others. First, make sure you're not "smothering" her by being hyperavailable. If you're always around her, ready to lend her a helping hand, ready to listen to her problems, or you are available to give advice to her about her dating woes, then you're filling all her needs already. She knows she's won you already. Instead, back off some. Don't play the friend role for a painfully long time if what you really want to be is her boyfriend. People settle into their roles, and it becomes difficult to shift behavior and expectations after awhile when one person is satisfied with the relationship (the crush) and the other will take any type of relationship they can get just to be near their crush. The power imbalance in that is huge. You don't want that.

Find other people to spend time with even though you want to be with her right now. Develop interest in other girls. Don't ignore her but don't make your crush the center of your existence anymore. I know this will be hard. I was there as a teen, but I lived through it and so will you!

While you've been pining away over her, there might have been someone interested in you! Think about that! Amp up your style (what you're wearing, hair, working out, etc.) to make sure you are your most confident every day. It's interesting how when you're at your most confident, others tend to notice you and become interested. Keep your foot in the door with your crush if you want by chatting with her every once in awhile to see what she's up to. You may find that either she's noticing you more or you don't like her as much as you used to. I'm hoping that with a more confident you, you'll broaden your outlook.

Remember the saying, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be." What this means is that only she can grant you her love. I wish you the best in dealing with being friendzoned. May the best thing happen for you.

Since you are going to different schools next year, NOW is the time to make your move if you’re going to do it at all. It’s better to express your admiration for her now than regret not doing so. Yes, you risk rejection, but there’s a risk to everything. The real risk is never saying anything.

You don’t have to express undying love for your friend, just a special liking. Consider taking one of the following approaches -- whatever works for you:

1) Wait for a time when you are alone with her, then share how you feel about going to different schools. Describe how special she is and how much you will miss her. Based on her response, use it as a segue to say that you have to admit you have a crush on her.

2) Send her a photo slideshow of the two of you with a special “crush” background song. Being such good friends, I’m sure you have many photos that feature the two of you. Let the last slide be your big ask. Ask her out.

3) Send her flowers, and on the card that comes with the flowers say something like, “You’re beautiful. Will you go out with me?”

Whatever your choice, I wish you the best in sharing your feelings with her. She’s probably waiting to hear it.

I can understand why you are extra reluctant to believe that your crush would return your feelings. People can be so cruel. I’m sorry this happened to you previously.

Do not rely on what others tell you. They have demonstrated immaturity and casual disregard for your feelings. Instead, develop a friendship with your crush if he is receptive and start hanging out with him. Be sure to pay attention to his body language as well as what he says verbally. It’s harder to mistreat someone you regard as a friend. Take any relationship slowly rather than confessing your feelings all at once.

If your best friend feels anything for you, then he's NOT going to hate it. Besides, you're both singers.

If you cannot find a suitable song among the many crush-related songs, then take a look at one of the two following Spinditty playlists:

1) Consider tunes listed under "Songs About Needing Someone" http://hub.me/al2lh. I specifically like "When I Need You" originally by Leo Sayer (1977) and "Baby I Need Your Lovin'" by Four Tops (1964),

2) Particularly if there are sparks between you, why not pick a kissing-related song? There's a long list of Songs About Kisses and Kissing here: http://hub.me/akFW8. I particularly like "Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not" by Thompson Square (2010) and "Shut Up and Kiss Me" by Mary Chapin Carpenter (1994).

Good luck serenading him! You've got this!

At the dances, they probably serve some kind of punch, water, or light refreshments, don't they? Either catch him at the refreshments table and start a conversation or ask if he will get something to eat at the refreshments table with you. Make sure he knows that you enjoy his company and want to talk to him outside of your time on the dance floor too.

Be cautious with this one because your families interact so closely. It has a chance to become very awkward for everyone, particularly if he doesn't feel the same. If you wind up dating instead, your parents will likely provide more oversight as your families travel together.

Hopefully, you've been paying attention to whether your flirting is mutual. Watch his body language in particular. Try to get more alone time with him. See if the two of you can have a few "friend dates" doing something casual like going for ice cream or pizza and talking. Talk about both of your dating lives and compare what you're looking for in partners. If a dance or social event is coming up like a prom, see if he'll be your escort. Ask him for advice on how you find someone like him. This is your cue to describe what you like about him ("You're smart, have a good sense of humor, ... ."). Each step of the way, pay attention to his cues, both verbal and nonverbal.

Take a look at the lyrics of your favorite songs, especially love songs, as they are really just poems set to music. Now remember that not all poems have to rhyme in the standard singsong AABB way that we are all too familiar with seeing them in. Some don't rhyme at all. Some have complex schemes. You decide what works for you.

Pour out your thoughts and feelings for your crush in prose (non-poetic) form directly onto paper/the computer screen or into a voice recording (whatever format works best for you), as if you were talking to him. Here are some questions to get you thinking:

1) Is there specific information you want him to know?

2) Is there information you need from him in return?

3) What's stopping you from your goal?

4) What do you appreciate about him?

5) How and when did you first notice him?

6) What makes him special?

7) Where do you see yourselves ideally in the future?

8) How do you feel not being able to have him now?

9) What if he rejected you?

10) Are you telling a story?

11) What's the tone or mood of this song -- e.g., flirty, sad, sexy, etc.?

Review what you expressed. That should suggest a title and a few key catchy phrases for your poem/song if you spent sufficient time and energy on the writing portion. Build the structure of your poem/song around what you want your message to him to be. This message should be consistent in both the title and the lines or phrases that are repeated. Make sure to vividly "paint a picture" for the reader/listener with word choice that crackles. Now that you have the lyrics, just set it to music.

You can get to know her better as a friend, classmate, or acquaintance and let her know that her boyfriend is a lucky guy and/or if she's ever single, you'd be interested in going out. You can do it in a fun way so it doesn't come off as desperate (e.g., tell her you'd be interested in taking his place if she ever gets tired of him and SMILE widely when you say it).

It's better to announce your wishes up front than get stuck uncomfortably in the friendzone and just not tell her you are interested as a potential love interest. You'll at least be able to gauge her reaction from a comment like that (e.g., is it completely out of the question or a possibility?). If she continues to date her boyfriend, you should honor her decision but continue your acquaintance with her. Don't dwell on her dating relationship with her boyfriend. Date other girls but if she breaks up with that boyfriend, check in with her to see how she's doing.

I assume there was flirtation involved in your talking for several days. During that several days he had a moral obligation to mention that he had a girlfriend. Instead he behaved like a player. It’s a basic violation of relationship trust on his part.

What he did was cheat on his girlfriend, and he made you his unwitting accomplice to it. That was not your fault. Now that you know he has a girlfriend, however, you have a choice as to whether to continue to be someone’s secret side chick (you’re better than that!) or to tell him that you like him but he can come back only when he’s single. You deserve the full love and attention of a guy rather than sloppy seconds.

People teach others how they want to be treated. Let him know that now that you are aware he has a girlfriend you feel betrayed that he wasn’t being honest and open with you.

Also, always be sure to check relationship status on Facebook and other social media platforms. You might have already done that. If his status falsely indicated he was unattached, then challenge him as to why it wasn’t current.

Good luck to you. Even if this doesn’t work out for you, there are good, honest guys out there so don’t despair!

A lot can change in the time between sixth grade and high school. You do mention that he already knows you like him, so I bet you've made that pretty clear. What you want to know is how he feels about you.

First, the practical. You've moved away and are in high school so unless you're in the next city over, your chances of an in-person relationship with dates, hand-holding, afternoons out with mutual friends, etc. is pretty slim. Even for adults in a mutually committed relationship, long distance dating over an extended period often becomes too burdensome. However, you can still have a "virtual" special attraction for a partner and make it work with social media. Don't expect it to be a full stand-in for a boyfriend that is with you in person, however. I urge you to try to look around at your in-person options, too. Keep yourself open to those possibilities instead of being 100% stuck on your long-time crush. In-person dating gives young people a chance to practice important relationship and social skills.

Second, decide whether you'd rather 1) know the truth about how he feels and risk rejection or 2) continue to flirt with him and anxiously wonder. If you want the truth, then chat with him through FaceTime, text, a call, or instant message. Tell him in advance you've had something weighing on your mind and need a few minutes to chat with him. After some small talk, ask how long you've known one another and go over a little of your history, encouraging his recall and participation in the conversation.

For example: "How long have we known one another, John? ... We've been together through x and x and x. I wish I had never moved away, but I'm glad we're still in touch. ... You know I think you're pretty special, don't you? ... I was wondering how you felt about me?"

If he doesn't like you back, he will probably want to end the FaceTime or instant message quickly, and he'll use language such as you're a "cool friend," a "nice person," or "sweet girl." If you want to be super clear about his feelings, you can say, "So just to clarify, you like me as just a friend, and you could never think of me as more?"

That should do the trick for you. Again, I encourage you to start looking around you, too. Go out with mixed groups of male and female friends on friend dates to the movies, putt-putt, to the mall, etc. You never know.

Relationships are all about chemistry, and physical appearance is only one ingredient. Don't overthink that just because he liked one type of girl in the past that that's the only type of girl he'd be attracted to.

When you initially agreed to this relationship, you probably didn't expect to develop an emotional attachment to the person you were sleeping with. You simply wanted to use one another for convenient, no-strings-attached sex. (Sex, however, is an intimate act that always has some strings attached.) While it's not impossible for a friends with benefits relationship to transition into a love relationship, communication regarding changing expectations and feelings is essential.

You've become emotionally attached, and it seems like he has become either bored or wary of your attachment. It's clear that you've exchanged benefits -- the car for sex -- but are you sure there's any friendship left? From what you describe, there's little emotionality between the two of you. He sounds more like a f*ck-buddy, to be honest. You deserve someone who will cherish and respect you. Put a halt to the sexual part of the relationship and see if he's still interested in the friendship. That'll tell you everything you need to know. Better verbal communication is needed to supplement the physical communication that's been going on.

If you’re as close as you say you are it should not be too difficult to have the conversation. Tell him that you have a little confession to make if he’s ready to hear it, but be honest about your feelings about rejection or changing the quality of your relationship. Waiting serves no purpose here. Get your answer.

There are several approaches to this.

1) You could change the topic of conversation to something that doesn’t remind you that he’s dating someone else. Movies often conjure up the image of dating. In contrast, sports, school, church, music, or funny YouTube videos can be more neutral conversation topics.

2) Decrease the number of interactions with him until you don’t feel that spark quite as strongly. Cut conversations short, politely avoid him or include others in your conversation so it's not a one-on-one conversation.

3) Turn your romantic attention toward someone else. Your crush is not the only attractive, special guy around. Even if you don’t like anyone else right now, challenge yourself to amp up your physical presence (attractiveness and energy), stand taller, smile, and look people in the eye. Talk to people you know whom you don’t ordinarily talk to. This will convey confidence and garner you positive attention. Your possibilities will begin to open up.

4) Confess and move on. He won’t be dating her forever. Therefore, make sure he knows you think he’s special so that when he’s single again, perhaps he’ll ask you out. Knowing that the information is out there (although he’s made another choice at the moment) can help you cope. DO NOT wait for him, but understand that you can be happy knowing you said what you needed to. You might do this by asking who he went to the movies with. Make sure the other girl’s name comes up, even if you have to mention her by asking if he’s still dating her or why he didn’t go with her instead. You can say she’s a lucky girl and look him in the eye when you say it. If you want to be brave and go further, you can say, “Can I admit something? I’ve had a crush on you, but I know you’re dating Sue, and I respect that. I’ve been struggling to get over my feelings. Let me just say she’s a lucky girl.”

The next time couple of times you catch him looking your way, give him a BIG smile so he knows you've noticed. If he responds, you know he's sharing your joy. Note that shy people may be embarrassed at first, so they may blush or smile and look down briefly. Don't look away or automatically assume this is disinterest. Over time try to hold his gaze. Develop it into a flirty game. Hold up a sign that says your name or draw a funny picture. Hopefully, he'll do the same thing. After a while of flirting back and forth, you'll both hopefully work up the nerve to talk to one another between classes.

It would also be helpful to be in the same places he happens to be if you can arrange that. Maybe you can trade seats with a classmate so you sit closer to him? Maybe you can join some of the same clubs he's in? Good luck in talking with your shy guy!

Unless you’re a middle-aged adult (and I suspect you are not), I would strongly urge you not to pursue a crush with someone this much older. Not all crushes have to be acted upon. You can admire your crush from afar, as we do over distant movie stars none of us can realistically have.

It’s much easier and more appropriate for you to pursue a potential relationship within your age group. You’ll have much more in common with guys your age and find that conversation flows so much easier. I would never recommend that teens in particular date someone outside of perhaps a two-year age difference. The maturity gap and expectations can be substantial. You can get yourself into trouble quickly and not even see it coming.

Stick with someone your age. You’ll worry less about nervousness and will be able to be yourself.

He's a person just like you are. Rather than talk to him face-to-face first, since you have anxiety about it, first work on your eye contact with him. Smile and concentrate on him, not yourself. If you get good results (he returns your eye contact and smiles) maybe you can feel more comfortable to start conversation in person or via social media. Sometimes it just helps to tell a person that you're nervous and get that out of the way.

Your friend probably senses that you treat them differently than before. Your crush on them already shows even if you don't think it does. Goo-goo eyes and other flirting. Others might have even said something to them about the vibes you're giving off. Perhaps they share your feelings. Why not find out?

Get your feelings out in the open early before the situation becomes really awkward. If they don't feel the same way about you, you will know early on and won't invest a lot of time and emotional energy worrying how to tell them. It's okay to be rejected. It's also easier to just go back to being friends when it's discussed early on.

Just take a chance and be open about your feelings. A conversation starter might be: "Can I make a little confession?" OR "Can I get something out in the open? Maybe you've noticed I've been acting a little differently around you ... ." Wait for their acknowledgment, describe how you value their friendship but how you have also started to see them in a different light. Ask if they are open to dating so you can both see if there might be something more than friendship between you.

You've got this!

That's a terrible idea. If you like him, develop opportunities for conversation and see if you have any genuine interests in common. Don't rush any sexual experimentation with him or anyone else just to check that box. Sex should be about a real human connection, not a physical act. (Animals do that. Besides, there are potential life-changing ramifications of sex.) It's much, much better when the emotions are there. Be smart about this and value yourself and him as human beings.

You friend-zoned the guy who cared about you and had him help you get closer to your crush. The guy probably feels used. If he leaves the city as planned, it looks like you may not have this choice between the two because your friend will be gone. Don't play with your friend's emotions any more by trying to start a romantic relationship with him unless you've got the crush totally out of the picture. It's not fair to your friend. (Of course, it's possible that your friend is no longer interested in a relationship with you.)

Get your crush out of your system. You acknowledge that your crush previously couldn't give you the love and time you required. Unless something big has changed, what makes you think he can do so now? There's something about your crush that you find irresistible. Perhaps it's a love connection. However, I suspect you'll discover part of the appeal was the chase.

If your friend is a generally trustworthy person, doesn't have a history of misleading you, and there's no motive for him/her to lie to you now, then I don't understand why you are so conflicted. Stop twiddling your thumbs and let the guy know you're interested, too. Stop going through other people and deal directly with your crush one-on-one. That'll solve your problem. Practice makes perfect when interacting with crushes. Go talk with him.

If you think this crush is more than a passing fancy and there are signs that your friend reciprocates your romantic interest, then spill your guts. Does she flirt with you (or flirt back)? There's no going back once you cross certain lines. It's hard to go back to being "just friends." Telling her will change the relationship no matter how she reacts, so be ready for a range of reactions if that's what you decide.

There seem to be trust and security issues that you need to work on. Rather than cling to another person for safety and security, instead, try to work on becoming a more confident, independent, and whole person without a partner. If you believe you were wrong to accuse him of liking someone else, it would be big of you to acknowledge that to him as a way of making peace.

The girl you are attracted to obviously has a crush on you, so you have a decision to make about your shyness. Do you want to be comfortably shy and alone OR feel somewhat outside of your comfort zone and maybe get a girlfriend? Having been a shy teen myself, I understand that introducing yourself and talking to people you don't know isn't exactly fun. But the risks for you are worth the potential rewards. Here are a couple of things to consider:

1) make sure you look your best (e.g., grooming, clothes), as that will bolster your self-confidence

2) practice the art of holding a gaze without staring -- it's an essential flirting technique

3) when you see her looking your way, smile and wave or nod your head in acknowledgment

4) ask one of her friends for her contact information and "talk" over social media

5) practice the art of asking questions; if you're nervous during a conversation or don't know what to say, ask an open-ended question about the other person so they talk about themselves. This will help you when you talk with her at length.

6) when you see her stare at you, move from where you are sitting/standing and go join her friend group. Playfully ask them why they were laughing at you. You might even jokingly guess a few things (Laughing makes people feel more comfortable). Then before you leave, give a folded piece of paper with your contact information to your crush.

I hope these ideas were helpful. Shyness doesn't have to be a roadblock to love.

You've already told him once, and it didn't change your relationship. He didn't declare his romantic interest in return. Was this because he genuinely didn't hear you or because he didn't share your romantic feelings? I suspect it was the latter and you may not want to admit it to yourself.

You need to be honest with yourself about whether this is a one-sided or two-sided love interest. Does he provide any signals to you that he is attracted to you sexually? (For example, he leans in, stands close, touches you a lot, gazes at you, listens like no one else is in the room, etc.)

If you are confused, have a conversation with him about the mixed signals you're getting when the time is right. Alternatively, introduce the topic by asking if he recalls that time when you confessed a crush on him. Then inquire whether he could ever picture a situation in which you two were more than just friends. You don't have to pour out your emotions because you're asking him how HE feels. You've already revealed your crush on him. He has certainly noticed your goo-goo eyes at him. This will get the issue out in the open.

It's better to talk about this "elephant in the room" between you than ignore that it's there. If he rejects you, it will no doubt hurt, but you will live through it. We have all been through rejection. It doesn't mean you are defective. It can simply mean you're not the right person for him right now, or logically you're great together but he just doesn't feel sexual chemistry. It's hard to figure out what lights a fire under even our own hearts sometimes. Don't take it personally, and certainly don't undervalue your friendship. Have that conversation so you can either start dating or start processing your feelings and move on emotionally.

We've all felt (or will at some point) a one-way romantic connection. It hurts not to have your crush like you back, but if you're in the crush's shoes, there are a couple of things you can do to ensure that it goes as well as possible. Out of respect and empathy for the other person,

1) be direct, firm, and sincere -- tell them that you're sorry, but you don't feel the same way

2) be discreet -- make this a private conversation rather than allowing it to be gossip among friends; you don't want to shame them for expressing their admiration of you

3) handle the rejection quickly -- instead of letting their one-way crush for you go on and on (in the hope that maybe the problem will go away), face the situation and be done

4) don't ignore them or treat them differently afterward.

Think about how you would want to be treated.

Sooner or later you need to let your crush in on your feelings if you want to have any hope of taking your attraction from fantasy to reality. I suspect you know this. You need to be the one to share your feelings with him, not a well-meaning friend. (Read some of the many other questions, and you'll see why I recommend against having a friend get involved in telling your crush about your attraction. There are so many things that can go wrong.)

You have to work up the nerve over time to let him know you like him. Start looking his way and smiling. See if he returns your attention. Try to have small conversations with him, sit closer to him in class or at lunch. See if you can connect with him over social media. As your contact with him becomes more frequent, you'll become more comfortable. Throughout this process, pay attention to his nonverbals regarding whether he's flirting back with you. Good luck.

They probably think of childhood friends as pseudo-siblings, but many people don't agree. Your experience of crushing on a friend is common so don't let your other friends shame you about it. You just happen to have been friends with him for many years.

You can try to deny feelings, get over them, or keep them private, but they are what they are.

Both your feelings and perceptions of him have evolved, and telling him will alter your relationship regardless of his response. As long as you realize that, why not talk to your crush about your changing view of him without pouring out undying romantic love? You might, for instance, describe how you no longer think of him as the same little kid you climbed trees with once, remarking that he's grown into quite a handsome guy. Add a little flirtation and inside humor to it, then gauge his reaction. That will let you know whether he's looking at you in a similar way.

This guy sees you either as one of his funniest friends (almost like "one of the guys") or as a potential romantic partner. The key to whether you are being friend zoned can be found in whether this guy flirts with you and expresses a physical attraction -- lots of leaning in, touching, eye contact, smiling, etc. If this is the case, it's likely that your conversations have involved topics about dating, romance, sexuality, and similar topics. If you're such good friends, play a game of 20 questions or "ask me anything" with him to see where that leads. Or talk seriously when you get the chance about what you're looking for in your dating life and future.

You can also look at his friends for a hint. If they tend to leave the two of you alone so you can be a "couple" or seem to joke about you two, he's probably shared how he feels about you.