47 Songs With Pickup Lines
Pickup Line Fails in Popular Songs
So a Guy Walks Into a Bar ...
When it comes to pickup lines, you can't blame a guy for trying. Well, on second thought, you can. Pickup lines are often corny, cheesy, or downright inappropriate. And some of the most memorable ones can be found in popular songs.
Whether they're the result of a songwriter trying too hard or not hard enough, these awkward and often funny come on attempts miss the mark for love. However, they're fun to listen to. We've got a long list of pickup line fails in pop, rock and country songs that are guaranteed to entertain. Just promise not to use them yourself.
1. "If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body" by The Bellamy Brothers (1979)
Decades before pop princess Britney Spears ripped off their punch line, these country musicians advocated skipping the frivolous small talk and going straight to what's on your mind. For the guy in this song, it's a couple of funny and forward questions.
If I said you had a beautiful body
Would you hold it against me?
If I swore you were an angel,
Would you treat me like the devil tonight?
If I were dying of thirst
Would your flowing love come quench me?
The Bellamy Brothers borrowed their famous "beautiful body" line from American comedian Groucho Marx.
2. "In Those Jeans" by Ray Scott (2012)
This humorous country song tells the story of a gentleman-turned-bad boy who watched as the woman he was interested in was approached by a greaseball with a cheesy pickup line. The greaseball said:
"Mercy, you looking fine!
How do you get in those jeans baby, and tell me how do I?"
Rather than slap him, she applauded his B.S., and our bystander gentleman was so impressed that he adopted the pickup line for himself. Unfortunately, he learned that results may vary when he found himself in a hospital bed drinking mased taters through a straw.
Have you ever been checked for ticks?
3. "Ticks" by Brad Paisley (2007)
Pickup line: "I'd like to check you for ticks."
Don't fault this guy. This woman's health is his first priority. Nobody wants Lyme Disease, right?
Anyone who's outdoorsy knows what this country song implies. Tick checks require a thorough search in and around all hair, plus an investigation of the belly button, ears, waist, armpits and nether regions. You'd think his crude pickup line would be sufficient, but then the narrator gets more specific:
Don't worry, Babe, I've got your back
And I've also got your front.
Wait. Does he even know how to remove a tick if he saw one? Somebody might need to remove him in a moment:
I'll keep you safe, you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you ... is me.
Funny Pickup Lines: Don't Try These at Home
Don't Even Try It
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Is your middle name Gilette? Because you're the best a man can get.
Is your dad a preacher? Beause girl, you’re a blessing.
Treat me like a pirate and gimme that booty.
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.
Is your name Ariel? Because we mermaid for each other.
Roses are red, violets are blue, lava is hot and so are you.
If you were a triangle you’d be acute one.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
4. "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne (2007)
Here's one way to pick someone up: get very instructional and in-your-face.
The narrator in this pop song has her sights set on a new man. The only problem is that he's currently taken. The sassy narrator sharpens her claws and insults her revial. She demands that her new guy ditch the girlfriend and never say her name again.
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend.
5. "It Is What It Is" by Kacey Musgraves (2013)
It's probably not love between these exes, but it is what it is and that's ... friends with benefits. There's such honesty in someone communicating that you're the person they're calling because they feel horny and bored.
... I ain't got no one sleeping with me,
And you ain't got nowhere that you need to be,
Maybe I love you,
Maybe I'm just kind of bored,
It is what it is
'Til it ain't anymore ... .
6. "Last Night Again" by Steel Magnolia (2010)
The couple in this country love song know one another from last night. They see each other in the bar again and want a second helping.
The woman issues the following pickup line, trying to get their party started:
Boy, if you wanna know the things I've been thinking
You'd be meeting me outside.
7. "In Those Jeans" by Ginuwine (2003)
Here's some more dirty talk about tight jeans, this time in an R&B song. Seriously, guys. Can't you be a little less creepy? The guy compliments the woman's thunder thighs, tells her she looks scrumptious, and delivers this hopeful pickup line:
Lookin' good, plenty tight
Is there room?
Any more room for me
In those jeans?
8. "I Don't Even Know Your Name" by Alan Jackson (1994)
The narrator in this country song finds himself in a roadhouse drinking too much tequila and throwing around a pickup line at a waitress: "I'm in love with you baby, and I don't even know your name."
But then his hilarious love story goes incredibly wrong. The tequila takes hold and before he knows it, he's married to another waitress who is missing her front tooth. He pleads ignorance, however, admitting, "I've never been too good with all those sexual games."
Tell Us the Funniest Pickup Line You've Used (Or That Someone Has Used on You)
What was the situation? Did the pickup line work? Share your story in the Comments Section below.
9. "Dancing in the Sheets" by Shalamar (1984)
Yikes! Slow down. Talk about going from 0 to 100.
The narrator in this pop song spots a girl in a nightclub — someone he's seen before. He asks her to dance, then delivers some major pickup lines that will make you wonder whether she winds up in his trunk later on:
Grab your coat and wave goodbye to your friends
I want to take you where the night never ends.
I feel the need to sweep you off of your feet
You and me, we should be dancing in the sheets.
10. "Father Figure" by George Michael (1988)
This pop hit definitively has a creepy vibe to it, especially these lyrics: "Sometimes love can be mistaken for a crime." Okay, eww. Just. Eww.
This guy issues a pickup line offering to play daddy to his girlfriend, and apparently it resonated because the song was an international sensation:
I will be your father figure.
Put your tiny hand in mine.
I will be your preacher teacher.
Anything you have in mind, baby.
11. "Romeo" by Dolly Partin, Billy Ray Cyrus, Pam Tillis, Tanya Tucker, Mary Chapin Carpenter and Kathy Mattea (1993)
Throw some water on Dolly and her middle-aged galpals because they've become overheated. Here's a pickup line you just cannot unhear:
My temperature keeps risin'
Every time we meet.
I may not be in love,
But let me tell you
I'm in heat.
You really must catch this video to get the song's full effect of mullet-wearing Billy Ray Cyrus as Romeo, wearing cutoff motorcycle gloves.
12. "Hey, Good Lookin'" by Hank Williams Sr. (1951)
In this classic country song, Hank Sr. croons a couple of pickup lines in the hopes of snagging the girl he's got a crush on. He's willing to throw out his little black book if she'll keep steady company with him.
Say hey, good lookin' whatcha got cookin'?
How's about cookin' something up with me?
Hey, sweet baby don't you think maybe ...
We can find us a brand new recipe?
13. "The Fireman" by George Strait (1984)
It's a public service, folks. That's what the guy in this country song is doing by romancing the lonely ladies. Full of sexual references, this song features a cowboy full of bravado who explains the power of his lifesaving magnetism in this pickup line:
They call me the fireman, that's my name.
Making my rounds all over town, putting out old flames.
Well everybody'd like to have a what I got.
I can cool 'em down when they're smoldering hot.
I'm the fireman, that's my name.
14. "Pickup Truck" by Shane Yellowbird (2006)
This lonely guy likes to cruise the streets in his beat up pickup truck after 2 a.m. and hit on pretty girls outside of the local bars. But from the sound of his pickup lines, he needs a tune up.
He uses the cringe-worthy line, "Are you from Tennesse? 'Cuz baby, you're the only 10 I see" as well as, "I need a map 'cuz I'm lost in your eyes."
15. "Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That" by Dolly Partin (1989)
Here's that ole' Dirty Dolly again, treating those poor cowboys like sides of meat. She's in a bar when she spots her ex in his cowboy hat and his painted-on jeans.
Lady that she is, she compliments his little behind as well as his big ideas, then she delivers her flirty pickup line:
Why'd you come in here lookin' like that
When you could stop traffic in a gunney sack?
Why you're almost givin' me a heart attack
When you waltz right in here lookin' like that.
16. "Call Your Girlfriend" by Robyn (2010)
The woman in this pop song is ready to bust up a relationship to get what she wants. As a pickup line delivered to the guy in her crosshairs, she issues some bossy breakup advice:
Call your girlfriend
It's time you had the talk
Give your reasons
Say it's not her fault
But you just met somebody new.
17. "Country Man" by Luke Bryan (2007)
You better grab this dude quick, girls because he's a special one. He informs the ladies that his talents include salt-curing hams and hot-wiring tractors. And he wants to get busy with you in the deer stand.
Judge his unique pickup line for yourself:
Hey, I'm a country man
I can wrestle hogs and gators with my two bare hands
Girl, you better move quick; I'm in high demand
Hey, baby, I'm a country man.
18. Nikki Lane, “Sleep With a Stranger” (2014)
This loose gal has her white boots and her tiny little dress on, and she's headed down to the honky tonk. But it's not the music or beer that she's after.
Just so we're clear, she spells it out: "Well, tonight'd be a good night to sleep with a stranger." And with the following pickup line, she insists this hook-up will be a one and done type of thing:
And you can tell me anything you want to
Just don't call me after tonight.
19. "Sexy M.F." by Prince (1992)
There aren't too many guys who will offer to cook a woman dinner, drink her bathwater, or give her this wierd compliment: "I bet that if you threw that a** into the air it would turn into sunshine." (What was THAT all about?)
The guy in this unusual Prince pop song issues a pickup line that's as straightforward as it is sensual:
In a word or two
It's you I wanna do
No, not cha body, yo mind, you fool
Come here, Baby. Yeah, you sexy m-f-.
20. "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins (2005)
Before this song hit the country charts, nobody had heard of a badonkadonk. (That's what tacky guys who don't stand a chance call the "booty.")
The badonkadonk is what they're admiring as they ogle and catcall a woman in a bar, then shout the following pickup line to compliment her backside:
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma!
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone.
Even More Songs With Pickup Lines
Song & Year Released
21. Need You Tonight (1987)
Slide over here and give me a moment – I’ve got to let you know / You’re one of my kind. / I need you tonight, ‘cause I’m not sleeping. / There’s something about you girl, that makes me sweat
22. Ready Set Roll (2014)
Get your little fine a** on the step, Shimmy up inside / Just slide girl, by my side girl, / We can run this town I can rock your world
23. Excuse Me Miss (2002)
Jaz-Z (featuring Pharrell Williams)
Lady, you're so contagious / I can't take it have my baby / Let's just make it / Excuse me, what's your name?
24. Obsession (1984)
Who do you want me to be / To make you sleep with me?
25. Nothing On You (2010)
B.o.B (featuring Bruno Mars)
Beautiful girls all over the world / I could be chasing / But my time would be wasted / They got nothin' on you, baby
26. Be My Baby Tonight (1994)
John Michael Montgomery
I know you've heard that worn out line / About love at first sight / Well, I never knew those words were true / 'Til you walked in tonight
27. So Fresh, So Clean (2001)
I love who you are / I love who ya ain't / You're so Ann Frank / Let's hit the attic to hide out for bout two weeks
28. Body Language (2014)
Kid Ink (featuring Usher & Tinashe)
If you don't wanna take it too far, then well / You better stop flirtin' and stop twerkin'
29. Why Don't We Get Drunk (1973)
Why don't we get drunk and screw / I just bought a waterbed filled up for me and you
30. It's All Wrong, But It's All Right (1977)
Hello, are you free tonight / I like your looks, I love your smile / Could I use you for a while / It's all wrong, but it's all right
31. Body Language (2009)
Hey, little chica from Guadeloupe / That thing you got behind you is amazing
32. What's My Name? (2010)
Rihanna (featuring Drake)
I heard you good with them soft lips / Yeah you know word of mouth / The square root of sixty nine is eight something, right?
33. I Got a Car (2013)
I can't promise you the moon and stars / But I got a car
34. Your Mama Should've Named You Whiskey (2013)
Your mama should've named you whiskey / I never should've let you kiss me / And every time you leave it hits me / Your mama should've named you whiskey
35. Pillow Talk (2008)
Girl your skin is so smooth / And you smell good just like some new shoes
36. In a New York Minute (1985)
I’d make love to you in a New York minute / And take my Texas time doing it / I’d do you every way but wrong
37. Escape (The Pina Colada Song) (1979)
If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain / If you´re not into yoga, if you have half a brain / If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape / I´m the love that you´ve looked for, write to me, and escape
38. Ain't Always Pretty (2017)
Like Jack and Diane just singin' our ditty / Life goes on, it ain't always pretty / But you are
39. Do You Love as Good as You Look (1981)
The Bellamy Brothers
Honey, do you love as good as you look? / Can you satisfy your man like your body says you can? Judging from the cover, I'd love to read the book / Honey, do you love as good as you look?
40. Blue Ain't Your Color (2017)
If I were a painter I wouldn’t change ya / I’d just paint you bright, baby / 'Cause blue looks good on the sky / Looks good on that neon buzzin’ on the wall / But darling, it don’t match your eyes
41. Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? (1978)
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy / Come on sugar let me know / If you really need me, just reach out and touch me / Come on, honey, tell me so
42. Hello, I Love You (1968)
Hello, I love you / Won't you tell me your name? Hello, I love you / Let me jump in your game
43. Just One Yesterday (2013)
Fall Out Boy
Anything you say can and will be held against you / So only say my name
44. Call Me Maybe (2012)
Carly Rae Jepson
Hey, I just met you and this is crazy / But here's my number, so call me maybe
45. Live While We're Young (2012)
I know we only met but let’s pretend it’s love
46. Eight Second Ride (2009)
I ain't never seen a country boy with tires on his truck this high
47. Pickup Truck (2006)
Are you from Tennessee? / 'Cause baby, you're the only 10 I see
Questions & Answers
© 2017 FlourishAnyway