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Married Too Long Playlist: 29 Songs About Less Than Perfect Marriages

FlourishAnyway believes there is a playlist for just about any situation and is on a mission to unite and entertain the world through song.

Are you happily married or running on fumes? You don't have to answer. Instead, celebrate the years of putting up with each others' annoying habits with this playlist.

Are you happily married or running on fumes? You don't have to answer. Instead, celebrate the years of putting up with each others' annoying habits with this playlist.

The Price of Forever: It's Not Always Wedded Bliss

Long marriages are like fondant-covered wedding cakes. They might look flawless, but taste 'em for yourself and you'll soon realize all is not as perfect as it seems.

Anyone who has been married a long time can attest that there are good times—or good years—and then there are long spells that just aren't. They can also explain that the perfect person you exchanged vows with is not the one you live with day in and day out. But honestly, the same can be said of you, too, right?

Over the decades two people:

  • learn everything there is to know about each other,
  • experience body changes that aren't always pretty,
  • may focus on career and self rather than one another,
  • could struggle with infidelity, and
  • deal with issues of power and control, nagging, and bickering.

This playlist is a fun nod to those who have agreed to the vow of "better or worse" and have seen both things come true. And yet they keep on loving their sweetheart—or at least putting up with them—year after year.

The first half of the playlist contains more light-hearted, humorous tunes, while the second half gets more serious. Remember, some of these songs are serious and will make you think. Others are downright hilarious. Make yourself a "Married Too Long Playlist" and just be glad you have someone.

1. "God Help My Man If He's Foolin' Around" by Joey + Rory

They say there's a seven-year itch, although some spouses start scratching long before that and still never find a cure. This 2010 country song never went much of anywhere on the country charts, but it's hilarious.

The narrator, a dutiful wife, waits at home for her husband. He's late again and didn't have the decency to call home. If he's not dead, he sure will be by the time he walks in that door:

There must be a real good reason why he ain't home yet
There must be a real bad wreck slowing him down.
I'm hoping he blew a tire, his old truck flipped and caught on fire
'Cause God help my man if he's foolin' around… .

And it only gets funnier from there.

2. "I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore" by The Snake Oil Willie Band

This country song from 2014 will have you laughing so hard you might just pee your britches. It was the first original song by The Snake Oil Willie Band, a homegrown classic and Southern rock group. Just give it a listen, and you'll understand why it went viral. (There's just a little too much truth in it, right?)

The narrator complains that he's a "deep-fried, double-wide version of the man I was before" and admits he ain't seen his feet in years. Letting himself go kinda sneaked up on him after he spent years guzzling beer and eating too many french fries. That can happen to the best of us.

Now he realizes, "I don't look good naked anymore." At what point did it happen for you? On second thought, never mind.

3. "The Man Song" by Sean Morey

Who wears the pants in your marriage? This funny 1995 song pokes fun at the power struggle between partners. We all know that women usually rule the roost:

I don't take no crap from anybody else…but you.
I wear the pants around here…when I'm finished with your laundry.
'Cause I'm a guy you don't want to fight!
When I say "jump" you say, "Yeah, right!"
I'm the man of this house…until you get home.

4. "Things Not to Say to Your Wife Song" by Tim Hawkins

First-hand experience in marriage was the obvious inspiration for this satirical 2009 song by Christian comedian Tim Hawkins. He provides friendly advice on things to avoid saying to your wife if you want to live a long and happy life:

I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you 'cause I knew it'd be okay.
Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show
I taped it over our old wedding video.

Like it or not, as the years wear on politeness is replaced with sheer candor.

Like it or not, as the years wear on politeness is replaced with sheer candor.

Things Not to Say to Your Husband

How many of these comments have you offered up?

Just Don't Say ItEven If You're Thinking ItJust Shut Your Trap

"My ex used to do it this way ..."

"You're just like your father/mother/sister/brother."

"See, I told you I was right."

"My mother warned me you'd do this."

"Your hair is getting really thin up top."

"I thought all men knew how to [fix a flat, operate a chainsaw, etc.]"

"I wish you made as much money as [insert name here]."

"So how much are you weighing these days?'"

"Are you starting to grow man boobs?"

"Never mind. I can do this faster/better."

"Let's turn off the game and watch a Lifetime movie instead."

"My mother is coming with us on vacation this year."

5. "I Did It Her Way" by Sean Morey

Comedian Sean Morey knows how to please a wife, and he's willing to share the secret to his long-suffering success in this humorous 1998 song. He never spoke his mind, never came in late, never drove too fast. He threw out all the naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend, had sex according to his wife's schedule, and when his wife alerted him that the traffic light was green he always expressed gratitude for the information. That man is a helluva catch right there!

6. "I'm Gonna Miss Her (The Fishin' Song)" by Brad Paisley

Any seasoned wife knows never to issue an ultimatum that forces a husband to choose between you and fishing, hunting, or sports. But that's what a woman did in this 2001 chart-topper. When faced with a choice between catching hell with his wife all day or catching fish at the lake, the husband responds, "Well, I'm gonna miss her."

7. "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly" by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty

For several months, my dad had been teasing my mother with the punch line to this song ("You're the reason our kids are ugly"). The family wasn't aware it was a real song. Of the three of us adult children, one of us was offended, another thought he'd lost his marbles, and the third wondered which child he thought was ugliest.

This 1978 country song's brutal honesty will have you laughing for sure. The couple takes turns blaming one another for all the things that aren't perfect in their lives. For example, they blame the other for their finances, beer drinking, and disappearing looks. Most of all, the looks of those kids are the fault of the spouse.

8. "It's Hard To Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your A** Out All Day Long" by The Notorious Cherry Bombs

When I first heard this 2004 song by this supergroup, I couldn't believe country stars like Vince Gill and Rodney Crowell would be involved in this venture. However, it's a real song that actually hit the country charts. Whether it's funny or not, you are the judge.

The song's narrator recalls an earlier time in his marriage when his honey was a true lady and called him sweet nothings. Now, however, she yells at him, disrespects him, and tells him how he is wrong.

He also complains about the growing size of her rear end: "Man, that thing is big enough to land a small plane on." What's most shocking is that in the song's video, a man dressed as a woman stars as the wife.

9. "How Can I Miss You If You Can't Go Away?" by Eldon Hunt

It's not unusual for long married couples to wish for a little solitude. For example, after being cooped up in the house together too long or when one retires and the other isn't used to their constant presence.

This funny 2007 original song could easily apply to marriage. One love partner is hanging around too closely, and the narrator just needs a break.

10. "When You're Screwin' Other Women (Think of Me)" by Doyle and Debbie

This 2011 song is sheer satire, a tongue-in-cheek nod to country music's heartache and cheating themes. A married man and his third wife (his second Debbie) confront reality and strike a bargain. She knows he's cheating and planning on leaving their marriage, and he explains that this is just him being him. They agree that when he's screwin' other women, he'll think of her. Sounds fair.

11. "She's No Lady" by Lyle Lovett

A lengthy marriage can sometimes seem like a prison sentence. So says the narrator in this 1988 jazz song. Although meant to be a serious song, the punch line will make you smirk.

Although the woman who has been on his arm for years wears fancy French perfume and wears high heels, the long suffering husband cannot recall the source of their initial attraction. She's made him pay every day since their wedding day:

She hates my mama
She hates my daddy too.
She loves to tell me
She hates the things I do.
She loves to lie beside me
Almost every night.
She's no lady she's my wife.

12. "We Don't Talk Anymore" by Charlie Puth (featuring Selena Gomez)

By now you've probably realized that the two of you don't have those deep conversations like you used to. That's what happens when two people know every freaking thing there is to know about each other yet still have decades in front of them.

Understandably, you run out of new things to say. This serious pop ballad from 2016 will make you wonder at what point it all changed.

13. "Remind Me" by Brad Paisley (featuring Carrie Underwood)

In this 2011 country song, the couple used to share a passionate flame of love and desire. They recall public displays of affection and long goodbye kisses, the kind that make others think "get a room."

However, after years of being together, all that passion has dwindled to a faint flicker. Or at best a slow burn. They miss the good old days. Can this marriage be saved?

Give it up buddy.  You know she's right.

Give it up buddy. You know she's right.

14. "Three Empty Words" by Shawn Mendes

Another serious song, this 2016 pop ballad mourns the loss of the giddiness and spontaneity in a relationship. (Dude, that's the first thing to go. The upside, however, is that it's replaced by the pure pleasure of predictability and stability.)

The narrator sees the couple's relationship routines as just going through the motions. It's dull, and he needs more. This guy is definitely not in it for the long haul.

“Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.”

— H. Jackson Brown Jr., American author

My grandparents were married for a long time.  Although they apparently couldn't stand closer than this in the above photo, they were close enough to have eight children together.

My grandparents were married for a long time. Although they apparently couldn't stand closer than this in the above photo, they were close enough to have eight children together.

15. "(I Don't Have) Any More Love Songs" by Hank Williams Jr.

In this 1979 country love-gone-wrong song, the narrator confesses that his honey is frequently on his mind. However, he's no longer feeling the love.

He complains that his woman can't get her act together and doesn't hold him like she does in his dreams. He's giving up on all the things that never came true.

Sounds like Mr. Perfect is whining. Maybe his wife's behavior is attributable to his leaving his dirty socks and underwear in the floor and spending weekends in front of the television. You think?

Some call it arguing.  Others call it healthy discussion.

Some call it arguing. Others call it healthy discussion.

16. "Broken Together" by Casting Crowns

This 2014 ballad is an all-too-serious look at what happens in marriages when love is taken for granted. What started as a fairy tale becomes a world of broken dreams.

The narrator acknowledges that "We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind." However, there may be hope for this couple yet. He suggests that they move past their sadness and just be "broken together." Some call that "settling" while others say it's "working things out."

17. "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" by David Allan Coe

If you've been married long enough, then you likely notice that your real name starts to disappear from use. First, your spouse may replace it with a nickname. Then your name vanishes into the long married neverland. If you have children, you probably refer to each other as "Mama" or "Daddy" around the house. Yeah, that's sexy.

This 1975 country song is a reminder that you're well on your way to roommate status. Or becoming your parents.

And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standing' in the rain
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me by my name.

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." - Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." - Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

18. "Facebook Friends" by Brad Paisley

If you want to remain married, then don't look up old boyfriends on Facebook. That's the advice of this 2013 song. The lonely married woman in the song looked up an old flame from high school, and suddenly she felt 17 again.

The two went from chatting to meeting in person to having sex in a car (just like high school?). Then one day, his Facebook profile vanished without explanation. Perhaps, his Mrs. decided to keep him. But you better bet he'll never live this one down.

When you've been married awhile, public displays of affection are replaced with public displays of differing opinions.

When you've been married awhile, public displays of affection are replaced with public displays of differing opinions.

19. "You're No Good" by Linda Ronstadt

Spouses know how to blow each other's confidence. Over the years, they question the other's competence, industriousness, and their talent at even the little things. This 1974 rock song walks you through the basics of confidence-busting:

You're no good
You're no good
You're no good
Baby, you're no good.

Alone time, spent together.  Has this relationship transitioned from solitude to loneliness?

Alone time, spent together. Has this relationship transitioned from solitude to loneliness?

20. "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore" by Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond

In this remorseful 1978 song, a married couple recalls all the magic that has disappeared from their long-term marriage. The flowers, the singing each other love songs, and the talking about forever? Gone.

Now after sharing some late night wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, she complains that "you just roll over and turn out the light." Sheesh.

For now, however, they are stuck with each other, unable to bring themselves to say goodbye.

Was it something you said?

Was it something you said?

Even More Songs About Being Married Too Long

SongArtistYear Released

21. You Give Love a Bad Name

Bon Jovi


22. Why Don't You Love Me (Like You Used To)

Hank Williams Sr.


23. Gravity Is a B*tch

Miranda Lambert


24. Your Squaw Is On a Warpath

Loretta Lynn


25. You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling

The Righteous Brothers


26. She Got the Ring (I Got the Finger)

Chuck Mead


27. Too Cold at Home

Mark Chesnutt


28. I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home

David Frizzell


29. Hold Me Now

Thompson Twins


© 2016 FlourishAnyway


FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 29, 2020:

Peggy - Some of them are serious, others hilarious. Glad you enjoyed that new song.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 28, 2020:

I just had to play the song "I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore," and found it funny. Some truth to it, also at my age. Ha! "You're No Good," and "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore," were the ones of which I was familiar.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 25, 2017:

Shyron - I had never heard Loretta's "Squaw" song but I played it on YouTube and it's true Loretta ... a real hoot. When I was growing up, my family didn't listen to country music until we moved to South Carolina. Country was the predominant music genre there, of course, and I took an immediate liking to it. The wife of my father's boss used to sing to my brother, sister, and I all kinds of old country songs like Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man" and we would giggle through the whole thing because she was so terrible. She would often pick out songs with punch lines to them because she assumed we were snickering at the lyrics. But her voice was as awful as her passion for singing was strong. I can just imagine her singing the Squaw song.

Shyron E Shenko from Texas on March 25, 2017:

Oh wow! This one is right up my alley, My favorite on here is "You're No Good"

I use to play and sing along with Loretta Lynn's "Your Squaw is on the Warpath" when I was married to my ex.

Another good one for this is collection is "Before Charlie gets home" (this is an old one) I have it on an old "78" record and that player doesn't play any more.

"You've lost that loving feeling"

I love this list.

Blessings and keep on doing this list.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 26, 2016:

Faith Reaper - Glad you enjoyed these as much as I did!

Faith Reaper on October 26, 2016:

Hahaha Boy, Flourish, you found some humdingers for this playlist! I usually know almost all of the songs on your playlists but you've introduced so many I've never heard before here. I can't believe some of these are real slngs, but they are perfect for those of us who have been married too long. : )

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 25, 2016:

Devika - Glad you are happily married!

DDE on October 25, 2016:

Married too long can bring up these songs in one's head. You thought of all songs and I am glad I don't have to look at my marriage in that way.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 24, 2016:

Gypsy Rose Lee - It is sad, I agree. Thanks for reading. Have a great week.

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on October 23, 2016:

That is some impressive list. So sad that many first true love romances cannot last the test of time.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 23, 2016:

Patricia - Thinking of you and your family. Thanks for stopping by.

pstraubie48 on October 22, 2016:

Remind me is so usual an exemplary list....

Angels are headed your way ps

Sorry so long in much is happening in our family I have not been here so much but thank you for commenting on my hub.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 21, 2016:

John - Haha, as can I. Mr. Flourish and I have been married 27 years. Livin' the dream.

John Hansen from Australia (Gondwana Land) on October 21, 2016:

These are great, Flourish. I have been married 34 years now so can relate to a few of them...not saying which :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 20, 2016:

Linda - Great addition. I'll add it! I tried to mix it up a little, especially since so many of the country songs were satirical or obscure. Glad you enjoyed this. I loved putting it together. Have a great weekend.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on October 20, 2016:

Flourish - May I add one more to the list? "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore" (duet by Neil Diamond and Barbra Steisand).

I laughed when I saw the title of this hub, and most of these are pretty funny, but then I saw on the list "Broken Together" by Casting Crowns. It is absolutely impossible to listen to that song without weeping. (And then watch the video).

Thanks for another rare hub.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 19, 2016:

Larry - I like that one, too. Thanks for stopping by. Hope all is well with you!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 19, 2016:

Linda - Glad you enjoyed this. It was a hoot to assemble.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on October 19, 2016:

I love the mix of humour and seriousness in this article. You've created yet another interesting and enjoyable playlist hub, Flourish.

Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on October 19, 2016:

I'm especially a fan of the David Allen Coe song:-)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 19, 2016:

MsDora - My dad started saying the punchline or refrain of this song in a teasing way to my mother months ago. We didn't know it was an actual song. Of my brother, sister and I, one of us was offended, another thought he'd lost his marbles and the third wanted to know who was the ugliest.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on October 19, 2016:

Flourish, number 14 takes the cake (I'm listening to it). The titles are all so interesting, though I don't know these songs. I also like your commentary on your grandparents' photo. Enjoyable as always.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 19, 2016:

Nell - Glad you enjoyed this!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 19, 2016:

Bill - That is a fabulous addition. I'm adding it at the first opportunity I get. Thanks a BUNCH.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 19, 2016:

Audrey - Marriage isn't for everyone. Thanks for reading and comment.

Nell Rose from England on October 19, 2016:

LOL! love that song, don't look good naked anymore! and the 'hard to kiss th lips' one was histerical! LOL! Then along came no. 17 !

So funny! and I needed a laugh, so this was great!

Audrey Hunt from Pahrump NV on October 19, 2016:

Great hub! Tried marriage a few times . . . sadly I guess I'm meant to be single. :)

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on October 19, 2016:

I don't know why, but the first one that came to mind, for me, is "You're No Good" by Linda Rondstadt...maybe doesn't fit in the category. I did think of "Remind Me" second, though, so I was close. :)