FlourishAnyway believes there is a playlist for just about any situation and is on a mission to unite and entertain the world through song.

Interlopers Are Uninvited Guests in Romantic Relationships

Love Triangles: Are They "Wrecktangles?"

Some of the best ideas for playlists are sparked by readers. This is just one example. A reader recently wrote a comment on one of my other playlists expressing his longing for someone else's partner. His anguish at being unable to be with her inspired this playlist.

We've all probably pined for someone we couldn't have. Some folks say you can't help who you love. However, you can control what you do about it.

Let's hope his story ends well, and if you're struggling with a similar situation, then we'll hope yours does, too. While you're still working it out, here is a large selection of pop, rock, and country songs about interlopers and love triangles so that you know you are hardly alone.

Reader Poll

1. "Leave Your Lover" by Sam Smith

In this 2014 pop song, the narrator begs the one he loves to leave her current relationship so that they can be together. It is achingly beautiful and reflects the anguish of wanting someone you can't have:

Pack up and leave everything, don't you see what I can bring
Can't keep this beating heart at bay
Set my midnight terror free, I will give you all of me
Leave your lover, leave him for me.

2. "Hard to Handle" by The Black Crowes

The firecracker of a fella in this catchy 1990 rock song thinks he's really smooth. He knows that the woman he has eyes for is already taken:

I know you've got another man
But I can love you better than him.

However, that doesn't stop him. Addressing her as "baby" and "mama," he assures her that he is a man of great experience. Then, he invites her to come home with him where he can light her candle for free. Is this an offer she'll be able to resist?

3. "Treat You Better" by Shawn Mendes

This romantic interloper promises to stop time for her. Enough said, right?

In this 2016 song, a woman is dating a man who isn't right for her, and a male friend who desperately wants to be with her tells her the truth about her troubled love relationship. Her lover is not the gentleman she deserves. She should be with him instead—a man who will never let her down. The interloper is just waiting for his feelings to be returned.

4. "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift

The high school girl in this 2008 pop song is crushing hard on a male friend who happens to be someone else's boyfriend. While she waits for him to wake up to the realization that true love rests right in front of him, she conducts a compare and contrast between his two choices.

5. "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Etheridge

Feeling threatened by her lover's interest in another woman, the narrator in this electrifying 1993 rock song declares that no one will feel the love and passion for her that she does. (Yep, it's a lesbian love triangle.)

She's prepared to do battle with the interloper, knowing that she has more love for the woman they have in common:

But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
It's only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one.

6. "Does He Love You" by Reba McEntire and Linda Davis

A wife and mistress square off in this 1993 country favorite. The wife begins by telling the mistress that she's known about the affair for awhile. Regretably, her husband now leaves home with a smile, ready to meet up with his clandestine lover.

The mistress expresses sadness that although she is the woman who fulfills his nighttime desires, he must rush home. Each of them wonders aloud whom he loves best. Sharing a man has to be hell.

7. "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield

In this 1981 rock song, Rick Springfield (who was a total hottie in the 1980s) covets the girlfriend of his best friend. Looking in the mirror, he wonders what she doesn't see in him. Jessie must be a helluva catch, or the girl lacks good judgement. Our pining narrator watches the couple talking cute, and thoughts of them getting intimate mess with his mind at night.

8. "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors

A woman is faced with a choice of opposites in this 1991 rock song, both of whom kneel before her and want to marry her. The men couldn't be more different.

One choice is the man her father approves of—wealthy and from a good family. The other is the narrator, a man of simple means and no family connections who loves her without reservation. He promises her that he knows what a prince and lover ought to be. Whom will she choose? Whom would you choose?

9. "Scotty Doesn't Know" by Lustra

Somebody needs to tell poor Scotty.

In this upbeat, risque rock song, Scotty's girlfriend, Fiona, has been telling him she's in church or shopping. Instead, she's doing the nasty with another man, and they both seem to be getting special enjoyment from the fact that they're keeping it secret from him.

10. "Stay" by Sugarland

The question, "Why don't you stay?" takes on different meanings in this heartwrenching country song from 2007 about a mistress addressing a married man.

At the beginning she and her lover are together and she wishes he didn't have to go. The interloper asks why her love isn't good enough for him to leave his current relationship.

Towards the end of the song, she has convinced herself that she is worth more than sloppy seconds. She tells him that next time he wants to leave his wife's bed and come hop into hers, "Why don't you stay?"

11. "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls (featuring Busta Rhymes)

In this fun pop song from 2005, an ex-girlfriend reminds her former man that her replacement is no competition for her looks and sex appeal.

Although the guy says he won't be leaving his happy home if it's not love, this vixen taunts that no one is as hot, freaky, raw, and fun as her. Will he take all that pent-up sexual energy home to mama or be a bad boy?

12. "One Last Time" by Ariana Grande

There is more than one interloper in this complex love relationship. With this couple, she stepped out of the relationship first, then him. Now he's leaving for another woman and his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend regrets her misdeeds.

The 2014 pop song features the narrator's self-castigation for lying, cheating, and failing him. Although his new lover offers everything she cannot, she nevertheless hopes that forgiveness and their shared history will triumph.

13. "Soon" by Tanya Tucker

This sorrowful 1993 country song reflects the emotional intensity of loving someone who will never be completely yours. When they met, the mistress knew the man was already taken. However, she gave in anyway.

What was supposed to be a summer fling turned into years of bittersweet stolen moments with someone else's husband. As he kept feeding her lies, she kept waiting until finally she realized that soon would be never.

When Three Is a Crowd

Love Triangle Challenge: Can You Name That Interloper?

For each question, choose the best answer. The answer key is below.

1. Who was the interloper who caused Tiger Woods' wife Elin to attack him with his own golf club?
   • Rachel Uchitel
   • Lacy Kay Somers
   • Lindsey Vonn
   • Kristen Smith
2. Who was the generously tattooed woman who (together with Jesse James) broke actress Sandra Bullock's heart?
   • Christina Ricci
   • Megan Fox
   • Michelle McGee
   • Angelina Jolie
3. Who was Donald Trump's not-so-secret mistress?
   • Ivanka Trump
   • Vladimir Putin
   • Kellyanne Conway
   • Marla Maples
4. Who was President John F. Kennedy's famous interloper?
   • Zsa Zsa Gabor
   • Marilyn Monroe
   • Jane Manson
   • Jane Goodall
5. What interloper was allegedly with FDR instead of his wife, Eleanor, when he died?
   • Marion Davies
   • Lucy Mercer Rutherford
   • Nan Britton
   • Marlene Dietrich
6. With whom did Heidi Klum allegedly cheat on Seal?
   • the nanny
   • her fitness trainer
   • the family bodyguard
   • Seal's best friend
7. Jessica Simpson cheated on then-husband Nick Lachey with what interloper musician?
   • Prince
   • Justin Bieber
   • Adam Levine
   • Billy Corgan
8. Which actress broke up the marriage of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston?
   • Sienna Miller
   • Kate Hudson
   • Courtney Cox
   • Angelina Jolie
9. Which U.S. politician subsequently married a woman he had an affair with while still married to a previous wife?
   • John McCain
   • Newt Gingrich
   • Rudy Giuliani
   • all of these
10. This interloper was 2008 Presidential candidate John Edwards' campaign worker and bore his love child.
    • Monica Lewinsky
    • Donna Rice
    • Linda Tripp
    • Rielle Hunter

Answer Key

1. Rachel Uchitel
2. Michelle McGee
3. Marla Maples
4. Marilyn Monroe
5. Lucy Mercer Rutherford
6. the family bodyguard
7. Adam Levine
8. Angelina Jolie
9. all of these
10. Rielle Hunter

14. "He Don't Love You (Like I Love You)" by Tony Orlando & Dawn

A woman's lover says goodbye to her in this 1975 pop song but not before he tells her that the new man who courts her will never love her as much as he does. Her new boyfriend may be handsome and may say all the right things, but her current lover warns her that he's the leaving kind and will break her heart.

15. "Saving All My Love for You" by Whitney Houston

Stolen moments is all the woman in this 1985 R&B international hit can count on. She is in love with a family man—someone else's. Living alone and waiting for his call, she understands that she takes a distant second to his primary commitment and that they'll never actually be together.

16. "In Another's Eyes" by Trisha Yearwood (featuring Garth Brooks)

In this heartwrenching 1997 song, two people who are cheating on their spouses feel guilty that their better halves believe they'd never do what they're doing. They lie and cheat, but they can only see one another when they look at their spouses' trusting eyes.

17. "Down Low" by R. Kelly (featuring The Isley Brothers)

Ever give in to the request to keep it on the down low? In this 1995 R&B song, a woman has two male lovers, and she's doing her best to balance them. She struggles to keep her side lover a secret, and the interloper promises to go along with the plan. Nobody has to know.

18. "There's Your Trouble" by The Chicks

In this 1998 country song, a woman reveals to someone else's boyfriend why he keeps getting hurt in his love relationships. He's picked the wrong partner and should instead be with her:

There's your trouble, there's your trouble
You keep seeing double with the wrong one
You can't see I love you, you can't see she doesn't
But you just keep holding on
There's your trouble.

19. "Call Your Girlfriend" by Robyn

This man has just met his new girlfriend. Trouble is, he already has one. But that's just a small detail.

The narrator in this 2010 pop song knows what she wants. Upon spotting the man she is attracted to, she directs him to call his girlfriend and break their relationship off. She even dictates how the conversation should go.

20. "Come in out of the Pain" by Doug Stone

For many years he has loved her from the sidelines, and now that her lover has left, this interloper is ready to swoop in and dry her tears, giving her a shoulder to cry on.

The guy in this 1992 country song has been more than patient. Knowing just how to work it, he invites her to come in out of the pain and lay down in her arms. Talk about going from 0 to 60 super fast.

Even More Songs About Interlopers and Love Triangles

Questions & Answers

Question: Is it wrong if I had a relationship with my friend's ex? When she found out about us, she was freaking out, but she cheated on him.

Answer: Uh oh. When it comes to friendships, there are a couple of rules. One of them is don't date each other's lovers, either current or former. It sets up a rivalry whether you intend it to or not, and situations can get very complicated.

If the attraction is so strong that you think it's a genuine love connection, at least give the friend advance notice that you're going out with her ex. It gives her time to discuss concerns and hear the news from the source rather than potentially finding out accidentally via rumor.

However, I suspect that by "relationship" you probably mean more of a hook-up situation with her ex, possibly several times. Not telling her in advance was a missed opportunity for you. Also, it's inappropriate of you to attempt to justify your behavior by pointing out that your friend cheated on her ex. That was between THEM.

I reiterate: your relationship with her, your relationship with him, and her relationship with him are all SEPARATE. At least, they should be. You're using her wrong behavior to justify your own. To me, this suggests that her ex was probably trying to use you to get back at her for cheating on him. I suspect you and her ex did a lot of talking about how wrong she did him. One terrible way to hurt an ex-lover is to sleep with their best friend. That's exactly what he did.

Mistakes happen. You can learn from this. Go to your friend and talk it through. Both of you should make some ground rules for relationship peace.

© 2017 FlourishAnyway

Comments

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 17, 2020:

Peggy - I'm glad you knew one, hope you had fun with a few others. Thank you for stopping by!

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 16, 2020:

#14 was one I knew, and I continually date myself with these admissions. Ha! I have not thought about Tony, Orlando & Dawn in ages.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 19, 2020:

Reza - Thank you for this song suggestion.

Reza on March 19, 2020:

Hi, even though I'm late I think Peach Scone by Hobo Johnson is a perfect addition, perfectly describes the struggle of someone who is out of reach because she already has someone else

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 15, 2019:

C.B. - Thank you for the recommendation.

C.B on April 15, 2019:

You need to add As Time Goes By.

Nothing tells the story of a man walking away from the best thing he ever had for what he feels is her own good even though they both know that they belong together like that song I the movie Casablanca

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 13, 2019:

Jackie - Thank you for that suggestion. I've added it! Have a great day!

Jackie on February 13, 2019:

Joan Armatrading - The Weakness In Me

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 19, 2018:

Paul - Thanks for the song suggestion.

Paul on August 19, 2018:

You might want to consider Ease Down the Road by Bonnie "Prince" Billy.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 10, 2018:

JenaLee - Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm sure there are many other people who have been in your situation and not acted on it.

JenaLee on August 10, 2018:

I am in a relationship of a couple years and i am irrevocably infatuated with a married man. I think he feels the same way but neither of us wants to risk screwing up our friendship.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 15, 2018:

Michelle - Thank you for this list of additional songs! I have added them (one was already on there). Also, I added "My Little Secret" to my playlist about Secrets and Keeping Secrets. Have a great weekend!

Michelle on June 13, 2018:

Usher - My way

Dmx and monica - dont gotta go home

Dixie chicks - i can love you better

Lady saw - i got your man

Xscape - my little secret

Brian mcknight - thinkin bout me

Usher - you make me wanna

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 10, 2017:

Devika - Thank you for your kind compliment.

DDE on September 09, 2017:

You shared the best music articles!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 13, 2017:

Catherine - Vanilla's not so bad, considering all the angst involved with the alternatives. I like that you're a "reformed" wild child. I don't know which is more fun -- making the memories or reliving them in one's older years? It's fun to think back, eh?

Catherine Giordano from Orlando Florida on July 13, 2017:

I took your poll and said my life was vanilla. NOW it is, and I prefer not to remember the unfortunate parts of my past. A great bunch of songs here. I played the videos to listen to a few. The music stirs the memories and makes me feel like a wild child again.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 08, 2017:

Louise - So glad you enjoyed it. I often discover new music I like and hope others do as well.

Louise Powles from Norfolk, England on July 08, 2017:

I do enjoy reading your musical articles. It's always very interesting! I like a lot of the songs you mentioned.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 08, 2017:

Larry - Thank you for stopping by. I hope all is well with you. Have a fantastic weekend.

Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on July 08, 2017:

Some great songs on this taboo subject.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 07, 2017:

Linda - Thank you for your kind comment. I appreciate your reading even though you didn't know the songs.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on July 06, 2017:

The only song on your list that I know is the ABBA one, but as always, your article is interesting and enjoyable. This is a great series, Flourish.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 06, 2017:

Debangee - Thank you so much for your kind support. Have a wonderful weekend.

DEBANGEE MANDAL from India on July 06, 2017:

I loved the videos and songs listed by you. You wonderfully put them together in this single hub. Well done!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 05, 2017:

Tamara - So sorry you were unwillingly involved in those love triangles. There are a lot of nice, stable fellas out there. Vanilla's not a bad choice given all the other choices, eh?

Tamara Moore on July 05, 2017:

Oh my! These songs might come in handy for me, though hopefully not, anymore :-) However, by all means, I needed these very same songs for my last relationship with a Covert Narcissist who got his thrills by Triangulating me with another woman. I like these songs you have listed here, and they ring with such wisdom! I really think I ought to stick to vanilla Ice Cream from now on; a bit plainer, but much safer, and honest. Lol...

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 04, 2017:

Rasma - Thank you for stopping by. I hope you are well.

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on July 04, 2017:

Well done. Another impressive list of songs.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 04, 2017:

Audrey - Thank you so much! Have a wonderful holiday!

Audrey Hunt from Idyllwild Ca. on July 04, 2017:

Another winner my friend! My favorite videos are 14, 15 and 16.

Love this series. Always refreshing and so well done. Happy 4th!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 03, 2017:

Linda - Thanks for the kind support. Glad you enjoyed the older songs on the list! Have a happy and safe Fourth to you as well!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 03, 2017:

MsDora - I guess it is hard to know how one would truly respond unless you're in the situation. Personal money expert Suze Orman (whom I adore) suggests that women keep a freedom fund that is separate and apart from all other household finances in case they need it so they don't feel held hostage so to speak in a relationship that is intolerable in some way. Sounds like excellent advice. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on July 03, 2017:

Flourish - Billybuc and I are about the same age, and it shows. "Torn Between Two Lovers" immediately popped into my little mind as well. Great list, as always. Have a wonderful safe holiday my friend!

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on July 03, 2017:

This time, I know at least some of the words to numbers 14 and 15. However, I wish more women would adopt the attitude of "I am NOT that woman who will sit around . . ." More lovers would walk the straight and narrow. Thanks for the list.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 03, 2017:

Heidi - Poor Jessie. He's what legends are made of, but not the way the poor fella wanted. Have a wonderful Fourth!

Heidi Thorne from Chicago Area on July 03, 2017:

I thought of "Jesse's Girl" as soon as I saw the title your post! Hope you're enjoying this holiday weekend. Cheers!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 03, 2017:

Bill - I enjoyed that one as well. I've been singing that around the house lately and my husband gives me "the look." He's used to it now. There's always a song! Have a Happy Fourth!

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on July 03, 2017:

Yep, I dated myself on this one..."Torn Between Two Lovers" was my first choice. Taylor Swift? Way too young for this old man. :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 02, 2017:

Ryan - Thanks for the warm kudos. I like the Spin Doctors, too. I had to reall challenge myself on this playlist!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 02, 2017:

Nell - No judgment here regardless of what you picked. None of us are saints. Big hug for on the other side of the pond!

Ryan from Louisiana, USA on July 02, 2017:

I love the song Two Princes by the Spin Doctors. Great list. I think you nailed it with the subject matter and matching the songs to it. Great work.

Nell Rose from England on July 02, 2017:

Great list! I only know a couple of the songs, but I did answer your polls....um! LOL! great hub as always!