Top Ten Funniest Eminem Songs
Eminem has been around for a while now, and he has seven albums full of his own material and countless "features" where he's appeared on other people's records.
While I think that there are many different Top Ten style lists I could make using Eminem's songs, I thought that I'd most enjoy doing his ten funniest. There have been a lot of them, and many have found their way onto the radio and MTV, with a few added bleeps for good measure.
Rumor has it that Eminem is currently in the studio working on his eighth solo record, so maybe I will soon be able to add to this list!
If I've left your favorite funny Eminem song off of my top ten list, feel free to comment and let me know what I've forgotten!
I will warn you that every video that will be posted here will contain foul language often explicit imagery and a boat load of political incorrectness. Don't say you haven't been warned.
10. Eminem - Criminal
This song, from the massive 2000 hit album The Marshall Mathers LP, pops into my head every time I do something I know I shouldn't. I'm a CRIMINAL!
Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime / To tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL!
I can't print most of the lyrics to this song here, or I'll likely get banned from HubPages, but rest assured that this one, if you have an open mind and a great sense of humor, will make you laugh. Try getting the words I'm a CRIMINAL out of your head!
9. D-12 - Purple Pills
"Ladies love us / That's why our baby mothers / Love us but they hate each other / They probably wanna take each other out / And date each other / Some-, something, something, something / Something, something, something, something."
Whatever was in those purple pills was so potent that they forgot the lyrics, as they were writing the song!
D-12 is/was Eminem's rap group with his friends and fellow Detroit rappers. There were six in all, and each had an alter ego to make a complete "dirty dozen." Purple Pills was their biggest hit, and it was released as a single from D-12's Devil's Night debut album in 2001.
Note: The "clean" version is called Purple Hills. The video, however, is a must-watch, even if it's just for the dancing toilets.
D-12 Purple Hills Official Music Video (Edited)
8. Eminem - My Name Is
"HI! My name is... my name is... my name is *chicka chicka* Slim Shady!"
This was the song that started it all, and probably the one Eminem is most famous for. It also introduced Eminem's alter ego, Slim Shady to the world. Folks really went ballistic over the lyrics to this song - many think that Eminem's The Slim Shady LP was the record label Interscope's attempt to get something controversial into rap the way they had mainstreamed Marilyn Manson in 1996 with Antichrist Superstar.
Regardless, The Slim Shady LP and My Name Is propelled Eminem into the public eye, where he has been for the last thirteen years.
Eminem - My Name Is Official Music Video
7. Eminem - We Made You
"****, I think Kim Kardashian's a man / She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands / On her massive gluteus maximus again / Squeeze it, then Squish it, then pass it to her friend."
Insulting celebrities is kind of Eminem's calling card and, in 2009 with this release from the Relapse album, Mr. Mathers let quite a few "celebrities" have it, including Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan. Portia de Rossi, Jessica Alba and Jennifer Anniston get the Eminem treatment, too.
The video is hilarious and notable for many reasons, among them the appearance of porn star Lisa Ann reprising her role as Serra Paylin. Oh, and a Jessica Simpson impersonator scarfing down a cheeseburger.
Eminem - We Made You Official Video
6. Eminem - Without Me
"Little hellions kids feeling rebellious / Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis / They start feeling like prisoners helpless / 'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells "*****"
(Yes, I did italicize the asterisks!)
Without Me, from Eminem's 2002 album The Eminem Show, gave listeners a small idea of what Shady's life is really like. He creates misogynistic homophobic lyrics and the wonders why everybody's mad about it. Some things never change? The video is hilarious as usual, and pokes fun at about a million people, including Moby... ?
"You don't know me, you're too old / Let it go its over, nobody listens to techno."
Eminem - Without Me Official Video
5. Eminem ft. Dr. Dre - Guilty Conscience
"Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old / Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store. / "I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes" / But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart./ And suddenly, his conscience comes into play..."
Truthfully, there isn't really much that's funny about encouraging someone to do bad things however, in this song, from 2002's The Eminem Show, Eminem is the red devil on the character's shoulders and Dr. Dre is the voice of reason. Yes, that Dr. Dre, who became famous because of a gangster rap group in what seems like the beginning of time. Eminem goads folks into doing things they know they shouldn't and Dre is the slightly calmer influence .. until Eminem brings up an ugly incident with a female rapper named Dee Barnes that Dre allegedly manhandled way back in the day. Then all hell breaks loose.
Please note: This song was never intended to be taken seriously. If you are offended by things that never even come close to political correctness, then DO NOT watch that video. Seriously.
Eminem ft. Dr. Dre - Guilty Conscience Official Music Video
4. Eminem - Just Lose It
"Come here little kiddies, On my lap / Guess who's back with a brand new rap? / And I don't mean rap as in a new case of child molestation accusation."
Just Lose It was an over the top attempt at humor that actually got Eminem in some hot water (big surprise?). In it, he references Michael Jackson's child molestation allegation and folks didn't take it lying down. Controversy aside, Just Lose It was a track off of the Encore album in 2004, and hit number 6 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.
Eminem Just Lose It Official Music Video
3. Eminem - Marshall Mathers
"Hey-hey! And then to top it off, I walked to the newsstand / to buy this cheap-ass little magazine with a food stamp / Skipped to the last page, flipped right fast / and what do I see? A picture of my big white ***."
Marshall Mathers was one of Eminem's first attempts to try to understand what it is that draws so many people to him. Forgetting, of course, that he was shoved down the MTV watching public's throats upon the release of The Slim Shady LP, Eminem just can't understand what the attraction is. He's also somewhat angry that he is accepted by people that he never was when he was just a plain old, broke Marshall Mathers. Though the subject material is sobering, some of the lines (that I really can't share here) are hilarious. This song is from the imsenorinuseun. The Insane Clown Posse diss is also funny as heck, and a pretty potent punch, too.
2. Emimen ft Jay-Z, Dr. Dre, 50 Cent and others - Syllables
"We don't know a word to a verse / All we know is the chorus / 'Cause the chorus repeats the same four words for us / And the songs ginormous, the whole formula's switched/'Cause we don't know anymore / What are hits? / Is it the beat? Is it the rap? Is it a finger snap? Or the same 808 clap?"
Music fans of pretty much every genre will appreciate the lyrics to this unofficial and unreleased Eminem song featuring Slim Shady and just about everyone else. The song talks about how these famous rappers aren't able to compete with the current rising "pop rap" stars, because they refuse to "dumb-down their music." Probably the funniest verse is 50 Cent's: "You don't hear what I'm saying / Me fin-nini-na / Fee-fi-dididee-yay / Just give me my check and I'll be on my way / Sunny bunny money and funny / You ain't even listening and I just took your money."
This one is unavailable for purchase and was never released on any album.
Eminem Feat. Dr Dre, Jay Z & 50 Cent - Syllables Unofficial Music Video
1. Eminem - The Real Slim Shady
"Look at him, walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what / Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Though Eminem's Slim Shady persona may be dead and buried, the man is 40 now after all, this song will forever be one of the tunes that he's most remembered for. In this song, from The Marshall Mathers LP in 2000, is somewhat of a calling card for Eminem, and his performance of this song for the 2000 MTV Music Awards is considered classic. This one peaked at number 4 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.
Eminem - The Real Slim Shady Official Music Video (Edited)
© 2013 Georgianna Lowery